Softsoul Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I've been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 15 months. We're planning on moving in together and getting married soon. However, we have some problems that are (at least from my part) difficult to overcome. We met on the internet, so we have no mutual friends. His past is a bit lively, includes a lot of partying and heavy drinking etc. which is no longer the case now, but he is still in the same group of friends, since he still lives in his hometown. I confess, his past did bother me a lot, but I'm learning to overcome this, because I know it made him the man he is today. Since the day we met, he has never been drunk, always calls me from parties, I have no reason to doubt him at all. He has moved on, but his friends are staying on the same level they were before. They tease him for not drinking or over-partying, they spend their whole days watching stupid shows on tv with a hang-over while the wifes/gfs are taking care of children. To top it all, one of his friends is a woman he used to be in love with, but she didn’t want him for a boyfriend, so they just stayed “best friends” until I told him: her or me. Since that, they don’t have much contact except from when she’s around other friends. The problem is, I have HUGE difficulties adjusting to this environment. We plan on moving to his hometown later, and I don’t know how I’m going to fit in, if at all. It’ll be quite far from where I live now, so I’ll have no other friends, and I know it’ll seem a bit strange if I just stop going to birthday-parties and evening drinks with my boyfriend. I know those people are a huge part of his life and I can’t and must not tear him away from them. But how can we find mutual friends? And how can I adjust, and not “freeze” every time I’m around them? I'd be very glad to hear some advice...
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