Cora Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 There is this guy who has been pretty persistent about wanting to meet me. I could tell he really wanted to last week, but I kind of blew it off(wasn't really sure about him etc.). After talking to him for a bit he seems nice enough and he is quite attractive. He brought up meeting again and I said okay we can meet and see how it goes. I wasn't really expecting him to actually schedule a date, but he said I was thinking about Friday? I may or may not have plans on Friday so I said Saturday might be better for me. He is suppose to be leaving to go out of town sometime on Saturday and he said just to let him know so he can plan around when he leaves. I told him I didn't want to interfere with his plans and he said well if not there is always next week. I said sounds good and told him I would let him know. Well now I'm having doubts again. I swear I'm so back and forth on this! Right after he first contacted me a couple weeks ago, I found his Myspace just out of curiosity. It was set to private so of course I couldn't see anything. I just happened to check again last night and well it wasn't private anymore. The thing that concerns me is his Myspace is full of women. All of his friends are women. Now I do know that he has been married before and had a LTR after that. He told me when that relationship ended and all of his ex's comments on there are old ones so that checks out. Of course I realize they could still communicate by other means. Some of the comments from the other women on there are a bit flirty. Now I know he is an only child so none of those women could be his sister. It's possible I suppose that they could be other relatives, but unlikely. The strangest part about it is that a lot of the women on there seem to know each other and are friends on each others pages. Now I can understand if they all went to school together or something and are all friends, but they are all pretty much flirty with this guy. All of them call him babe, sweetie etc. I could be overanalyzing this, but it concerns me. I don't want to waste my time and meet some player IF that's what this is. Why do guys have Myspaces and Facebooks and what not full of women? I'm sure there are women out there who do this too so I'm not just picking on the guys. But why do they do this? I mean is there any other reason besides they are just players? I thought about asking him about it the next time I talked to him. Is this a bad idea? It probably wouldn't do any good I guess. Is this a bad sign? Should I even go along with meeting him? Other than that he is sweet, nice, attractive, intelligent etc.. (By the way, I have made it VERY clear to him that I am NOT looking for some sex meetup if that's what he is thinking. I was very blunt with him and told him not to waste his time trying to sucker me in. I basically told him he can keep on looking if he is looking for sex. I don't care if he thinks I'm crazy now! I will not put up with that shyt!)
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 There is this guy who has been pretty persistent about wanting to meet me. I could tell he really wanted to last week, but I kind of blew it off(wasn't really sure about him etc.). After talking to him for a bit he seems nice enough and he is quite attractive. He brought up meeting again and I said okay we can meet and see how it goes. I wasn't really expecting him to actually schedule a date, but he said I was thinking about Friday? I may or may not have plans on Friday so I said Saturday might be better for me. He is suppose to be leaving to go out of town sometime on Saturday and he said just to let him know so he can plan around when he leaves. I told him I didn't want to interfere with his plans and he said well if not there is always next week. I said sounds good and told him I would let him know. Well now I'm having doubts again. I swear I'm so back and forth on this! Right after he first contacted me a couple weeks ago, I found his Myspace just out of curiosity. It was set to private so of course I couldn't see anything. I just happened to check again last night and well it wasn't private anymore. The thing that concerns me is his Myspace is full of women. All of his friends are women. Now I do know that he has been married before and had a LTR after that. He told me when that relationship ended and all of his ex's comments on there are old ones so that checks out. Of course I realize they could still communicate by other means. Some of the comments from the other women on there are a bit flirty. Now I know he is an only child so none of those women could be his sister. It's possible I suppose that they could be other relatives, but unlikely. The strangest part about it is that a lot of the women on there seem to know each other and are friends on each others pages. Now I can understand if they all went to school together or something and are all friends, but they are all pretty much flirty with this guy. All of them call him babe, sweetie etc. I could be overanalyzing this, but it concerns me. I don't want to waste my time and meet some player IF that's what this is. Why do guys have Myspaces and Facebooks and what not full of women? I'm sure there are women out there who do this too so I'm not just picking on the guys. But why do they do this? I mean is there any other reason besides they are just players? I thought about asking him about it the next time I talked to him. Is this a bad idea? It probably wouldn't do any good I guess. Is this a bad sign? Should I even go along with meeting him? Other than that he is sweet, nice, attractive, intelligent etc.. (By the way, I have made it VERY clear to him that I am NOT looking for some sex meetup if that's what he is thinking. I was very blunt with him and told him not to waste his time trying to sucker me in. I basically told him he can keep on looking if he is looking for sex. I don't care if he thinks I'm crazy now! I will not put up with that shyt!) Why does he have a Facebook and Myspace full of women? Probably because he's a single guy that is dating. Did you expect him to be monogamous to you even before your first date? Honestly, I'd call it a worse sign (for him) that he suggested going out on a date and your response was, "OKAY MISTER, BUT I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU, SO JUST GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW." If it were me, I'd think better of meeting a woman that has some preconceived notion that those are my intentions when all of the rest of my communication with her has been sweet, nice, and intelligent. Wouldn't you agree?
Author Cora Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Why does he have a Facebook and Myspace full of women? Probably because he's a single guy that is dating. Did you expect him to be monogamous to you even before your first date? Honestly, I'd call it a worse sign (for him) that he suggested going out on a date and your response was, "OKAY MISTER, BUT I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU, SO JUST GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW." If it were me, I'd think better of meeting a woman that has some preconceived notion that those are my intentions when all of the rest of my communication with her has been sweet, nice, and intelligent. Wouldn't you agree? Sorry, but I failed to mention the fact that after first meeting him he did make a few sexual references which is when I told him all that stuff about how I wasn't looking for sex if that was what he was thinking. After that he hasn't brought it up anymore and he says it's not about sex for him. Also, NO, I do not expect him to be monogamous to me. I just found it a bit odd that he had his Myspace full of women. I suppose if he is using it for dating purposes only then it's not so odd. Maybe it's more common then I thought. I'm only trying to protect myself here and if there are red flags flashing in front of my face that I'm failing to see I'd rather someone point them out to me now. Perhaps I'm being overly cautious here. He even told me that I worry too much, but can you really worry too much? Sometimes I think my judging capabilities are way off. I can't even tell a good guy from a bad guy anymore!
dreamergrl Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I went out with a guy who had almost all female friends on his myspace. He made sexual references on the date. Frankly I wanted to have sex with him. But he told me no, he doesn't have sex the first time out. So - those things may not mean anything.
Hkizzle Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I went out with a guy who had almost all female friends on his myspace. He made sexual references on the date. Frankly I wanted to have sex with him. But he told me no, he doesn't have sex the first time out. So - those things may not mean anything. Just curious, and not a criticism. How come you asked him to have sex on the first date? Generally girls don't make the first move with regards to sex.
dreamergrl Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Just curious, and not a criticism. How come you asked him to have sex on the first date? Generally girls don't make the first move with regards to sex. We were kissing and what not.... and I was really attracted to him in that way... so I went for it.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 My myspace was full of girls (until I deleted it due to unnecessary myspace stalking) and I've never cheated on any girl. I don't see a problem?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Having way too much female friends on a social network like Myspace is a complete turnoff. It tells me they're either on a prowl or it's a constant habit of the man to ask out women and flirt. Cora, if you really don't want to meet this guy, just tell him no. Otherwise you're just going to drive yourself crazy with all these doubts.
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Just curious, and not a criticism. How come you asked him to have sex on the first date? Generally girls don't make the first move with regards to sex. Why does anyone have sex on the "first" date?
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 To the OP, I don't think this necessarily means he is up to no good or a player. The thing is, I am currently single, and I have guys wanting to add me on myspace all the time. I do not add all of them, but I do have a lot of guys on there. Nothing extreme though. It doesn't mean anything, and wouldn't want someone to judge me on it. When a guy has many women on his list, it is more questionable to me. I don't know if I just assume this is the case, but it seems guys do more of the browsing and adding than women do in general. So with that said, if he has a ton of women, I could see you questioning this. He probably just wants attention , or he could be a player. Its probably more so he likes all the attention since he is single. If you think your instincts are right, maybe you should just not bother with him anymore. Otherwise, you will just have to get to know him better and find out for sure.
dreamergrl Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why does anyone have sex on the "first" date? Some people have known one another for some time prior to the first date.
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Well if you are friends with someone for a while-then go out , maybe...but IMO, you don't really know someone enough to take that step on the first date.
Author Cora Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Okay, apparently having more of one particular gender on your Myspace is more common than I thought. I'm a bit clueless about these things. I think I may meet with him and see how things go. What could it hurt right? I would be able to tell more about him. These replies have really helped me. Thanks all!
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Perhaps I'm being overly cautious here. He even told me that I worry too much, but can you really worry too much? Definitely. People do it all the time. I think you're doing it now. It's a date, not a marriage proposal. The worst thing that can happen is you have to spend an hour with someone you can't stand.
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