fooled once Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Seems like a lot of / the majority of Affairs are older married men with younger single women. I know that is how it was in my case. He was 17 years older than me. Is this a mid-life crisis type of thing? Those that have been involved in an affair, care to share age differences?
GreenEyedLady Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 There's a 14 year difference between my H and I. I am younger.
Lyssa Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 fMM is almost 9 years older than me. Quite a huge gap for me because I only used to date guys that were at least 2 years older.
NoIDidn't Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 The trend is so old, there is a book about it. Its called Married Man - Single Woman Syndrome. Its generally the case that the single woman is much younger than the MM and that the MM is reliving the part of his life that he probably didn't get to live as fully as he wanted to. Maybe the MM watched the younger women, when he was their age, dating older guys and waited for the day that he could do it himself when he finally had some money, power, and status to use to get their attention. I hear something similar to this from younger guys a lot. It is interesting to see, though.
xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yes this was the case with me as well. MM was 22 years older than me. Im now 27, hes currently 49.
Devil Inside Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 My xOW was only three years younger, same as my wife.
lkjh Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Not a midlife crisis, Men like younger good looking girls and girls seem to go for older guys.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Not too many MW have affairs with younger OM. Honestly, I'm trying to think back if there ever was one here.. It could be (even though it's an affair) most people are used to seeing older men, younger women in regular relationships so it's the same in affairs.. (Hope this reads OK, in my head it did..lol.)
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I have said our ages in my posts. My MM is 32 and I am 43. 11 years older.
In_Repair Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Since I am technically still a MM, waiting on my mandatory one year separation to be over, I guess I can chime in on this one. I'm 33 and my MW is 39. To be honest though, and further back up the old stereotype... all of the other women I have messed with since my wife left have been in their 20s, and one of them just had her 20th birthday last week.
xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Not a midlife crisis, Men like younger good looking girls and girls seem to go for older guys. True, but in 'normal' relationships, the age gaps seem to be less between the couple. An age gap of about 20 years or more typically found in affair cases is extreme. I dont think age matters though, so long as the couple are happy and get on well.
jwi71 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I've always thought it was a maturity thing myself, especially if the girl is in her 20's still. Case in point - me. Having recently been accepted into a PhD program, I find myself in classes with women 15 years my junior (Im 38). And its painfully obvious to me how some act...in fact, I'm quite sure I would have missed the signals had I been 23. Im half seeing a woman whos is 24! Talk about an ego boost. They're young, inexperienced and eager to learn...for a predatory MM...its like stealing candy from a baby. So...the younger inexperienced woman is an easy target.
GreenEyedLady Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I'm 34 and had been divorced when I met my H and had 2 kids. (I was 30 when we met.) So neither that young nor inexperienced. Although I do think there's something to say for women being more mature than men. I have to give my H kudos. He's made a lot of changes and has grown up alot. GEL
jennie-jennie Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 MM and I are both 50. My ex SO is 5 years older than me.
Can'tGiveUp Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I am a few years older than MM. We were both mid 30's when we met - so not so young or inexperienced...
Mino Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Actually my mm was only 4 years older, but his W was 13 years younger. At our age, I think he liked that I was closer to his age, he didnt have much in common with his 13 year younger w.
MistyK Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 We had a 16 year age gap. He was somewhat bothered by it - that people would see it as a classic May-December thing, that people would mistake him for my father, etc. But it never bothered me. My xH was only 6 years my senior. I actually prefer guys 7-10 years older than me over guys my own age. My sister's H is 27 years older than her. Daddy issues with us? You bet.
ladydesigner Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I am a MW and my xOM is 14 years younger than me so I guess I would be considered a "cougar." I am 36 he is 22.
complicatedlife Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 My former MM/current boyfriend and I are in the same age group: both late thirties, and he is exactly one year older than I am.
OWoman Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I've always preferred older guys, whether single or M, because I can't stand immaturity. My H is the youngest, relative to me, that I've ever considered - he's a mere 10 years older than I am. The oldest relative to me - a 21 year gap - was a SG, when I was in my 30s.
jasminetea Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Seems like a lot of / the majority of Affairs are older married men with younger single women. I know that is how it was in my case. He was 17 years older than me. Is this a mid-life crisis type of thing? Those that have been involved in an affair, care to share age differences? Maybe its just to do with maturity, or rather the lack of it.
Confused4Now Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 My former MW is 41 and I'm 51....my ex-wife is 48.
ContemplatingTheEnd Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 My MM is 14 years older than me. I think we were both surprised to find out how old the other one was when we met each other though -- I suspected he was several years younger than he was and I often seem older to most people I meet. The age gap hasn't really affected our A because it's just that -- an affair -- but I suppose if (which I am almost sure we won't) ever have an actual relationship, the gap would become a bit more of a problem. But, like many people on here have said, age isn't the biggest issue in relationships. I definitely do think my MM enjoys the fact that he does an amazing job of turning on a woman much younger than him. It's an ego-booster for him during a time that he is re-examining many parts of his life. That is very obvious in our situation. But, and as bad as this sounds -- that doesn't really bother me. I like that I turn him on. The feeling is mutual. And, I think all people should reexamine their lives. Whether you call that a midlife crisis or something else is just semantics. When that reexamination leads to infidelity though, that is not so good.
ednadean Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I think it's the age old truth that men like younger women...and they can generally get them My MM = 16 years older I think.
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