Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why do they do that? It's so annoying. My ex's brothers, who I was very close with and two of his friends, who were my friends as well...or so I thought, encouraged him to cheat on me all the time. I've heard that it's because they were single and wanted him to be single/miserable right along with them. Is that true? I think partly the reason he broke up with me is because both his best friends broke up with their girlfriends right before.
Lizzie60 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why do they do that? It's so annoying. My ex's brothers, who I was very close with and two of his friends, who were my friends as well...or so I thought, encouraged him to cheat on me all the time. I've heard that it's because they were single and wanted him to be single/miserable right along with them. Is that true? I think partly the reason he broke up with me is because both his best friends broke up with their girlfriends right before. Is this serious? Why would you want to be with a wuss... If I want or DON'T want to do something.. I don't care how much people encourage me.. or 'coax' me... I will or WILL NOT do it.. Don't find excuse for your ex.. he cheated because he WANTED to..
Green Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why do they do that? It's so annoying. My ex's brothers, who I was very close with and two of his friends, who were my friends as well...or so I thought, encouraged him to cheat on me all the time. I've heard that it's because they were single and wanted him to be single/miserable right along with them. Is that true? I think partly the reason he broke up with me is because both his best friends broke up with their girlfriends right before. I think the other poster Lizzie nailed it... He cheated because he wanted to. I'm a guy and if I wanted to be with another girl while in a committed relationship I'd be honest about that and wouldn't be lying and two timing women.
Lyssa Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Never ever go out with someone that doesn't have his own identity.
utterer of lies Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I think partly the reason he broke up with me is because both his best friends broke up with their girlfriends right before. You should be happy that he broke up. He obviously didn't respect you, or have you high on his priority list.
Trialbyfire Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 There are people who will cheat and others who won't. IMO, something dies inside people who cheat or have cheated. Something precious and well worth protecting. If your ex cheated, it was because he already had the disposition within him, to do it.
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Men that encourage others to cheat are getting some thrill by living vicariously through another person. They don't have to deal with any of the consequences, so why not? I wouldn't consider anyone that did that one of my friends though. Doesn't sound like your ex shared my philosophy, but it also sounds like you're much better off without him.
Lizzie60 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Never ever go out with someone that doesn't have his own identity. Wow.. I love that..
Author Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Is this serious? Why would you want to be with a wuss... If I want or DON'T want to do something.. I don't care how much people encourage me.. or 'coax' me... I will or WILL NOT do it.. Don't find excuse for your ex.. he cheated because he WANTED to.. I didn't say he cheated but was strongly encouraged to when being hit on by a young girl even though the people that encouraged him were close to me as well. It's a known fact that it happens a lot between men and I have seen this pattern with other men besides my ex when they're having their “boys nights out”. A lot of single men encourage their friends to cheat, it’s a fact. I'm just curious about the psychology behind it.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why do they do that? dont know. Ive never done it and actually had a conversation with one buddy and told him he'd be a downright asssshole if he did. women do it to. although women do all the condoning AFTER the cheating has taken place. after all, if a woman cheats, then there must have been a good reason:rolleyes:
Author Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Men that encourage others to cheat are getting some thrill by living vicariously through another person. They don't have to deal with any of the consequences, so why not? I wouldn't consider anyone that did that one of my friends though. Doesn't sound like your ex shared my philosophy, but it also sounds like you're much better off without him. Thank you for the nonpatronizing, logical answer to my question.
Lyssa Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Lol - thanks, Lizzie. I didn't say he cheated but was strongly encouraged to when being hit on by a young girl even though the people that encouraged him were close to me as well. It's a known fact that it happens a lot between men and I have seen this pattern with other men besides my ex when they're having their “boys nights out”. A lot of single men encourage their friends to cheat, it’s a fact. I'm just curious about the psychology behind it. Then those guys are not worth being your friends. Why kinda friends is that? Their action was plain disrespectful. You're better off without him and them, IMO.
Green Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Thank you for the nonpatronizing, logical answer to my question. Your question itself was patronizing and has no logical answer. Its like if I started a thread Why do women pretend to be pregnant when they're not
Author Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Then those guys are not worth being your friends. Why kinda friends is that? Their action was plain disrespectful. You're better off without him and them, IMO. Thanks. I am no longer in touch with any of those people including my ex. I realized they were all very immature tools. I just thought about this topic because I was out at a bar last night and overheard a guy tell his friend “you should hit on that hot bartender chick, she keeps smiling at you” and the guys said “I have girlfriend you know” to which his buddy replied “so, she’ll never know”.
freestyle Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 There are some people who will intentionally cause or create drama in the lives of those around them, just for the entertainment value. Hey, it`s cheaper than cable....................
Hkizzle Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why do they do that? It's so annoying. My ex's brothers, who I was very close with and two of his friends, who were my friends as well...or so I thought, encouraged him to cheat on me all the time. I've heard that it's because they were single and wanted him to be single/miserable right along with them. Is that true? I think partly the reason he broke up with me is because both his best friends broke up with their girlfriends right before. My friend used to do that to me. It's because these guys cheat or would cheat too, and want someone to join them. It's like druggies wanting someone to do drugs with them because then you have something in common. It also reduces their own guilt and validates what they've done/want to do. Hope that helps.
Author Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 So as I suspected it's very much an ego thing. I know not all men do this and I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that do the same, but I think guys are more likely to not “discourage” their friend when they’re about to cheat. Woman are more Cautionary and emotional and will tell their girlfriends to think about their actions, unless they absolutely hate their friend’s boyfriend then they’ll just say “go for it”.
Hkizzle Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 So as I suspected it's very much an ego thing. I know not all men do this and I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that do the same, but I think guys are more likely to not “discourage” their friend when they’re about to cheat. Woman are more Cautionary and emotional and will tell their girlfriends to think about their actions, unless they absolutely hate their friend’s boyfriend then they’ll just say “go for it”. Unless it was a really good friend and he was stupid and going to screw his marriage/ relationship up. I say "hey buddy, wtf are you doing?". I'm not the police or his dad, any grown up should know not to cheat and doesn't need another grown man policing him. Encouraging is another matter of course.
Author Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 "hey buddy, wtf are you doing?". I think that's all that needs to be said. You know just a little push to get them back on track instead of saying "Dude just hit it and quit it". That's what my ex's brother said to him a day after I helped him move till three in the morning. When I said my ex didn't cheat on me it was true but the fact that I found this out about his brother and said I could never face him at the Christmas table knowing he encouraged him to cheat on me like that was sort of what started the whole breakup talk. There were a thousand different reasons why we broke up but that I would say was the straw that broke the camel's back. Thanks, your posts are definitely putting things into perspective about how men think.
Green Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I think that's all that needs to be said. You know just a little push to get them back on track instead of saying "Dude just hit it and quit it". That's what my ex's brother said to him a day after I helped him move till three in the morning. When I said my ex didn't cheat on me it was true but the fact that I found this out about his brother and said I could never face him at the Christmas table knowing he encouraged him to cheat on me like that was sort of what started the whole breakup talk. There were a thousand different reasons why we broke up but that I would say was the straw that broke the camel's back. Thanks, your posts are definitely putting things into perspective about how men think. you are sexist. I've never had a guy do this to me, but I have had women encourage cheating
carhill Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 My ex's brothers, who I was very close with and two of his friends, who were my friends as well...or so I thought, encouraged him to cheat on me all the time. I've heard that it's because they were single and wanted him to be single/miserable right along with them. Is that true? LOL, children. Sounds like they need a spanking. Glad you're done with that.
Author Ilovecake Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 you are sexist. I've never had a guy do this to me, but I have had women encourage cheating Thank you so much for taking precious timeout of your day to type that. May I suggest you take 5 more minutes to look up the word sexist in the dictionary?
Trialbyfire Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 So as I suspected it's very much an ego thing. I know not all men do this and I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that do the same, but I think guys are more likely to not “discourage” their friend when they’re about to cheat. Woman are more Cautionary and emotional and will tell their girlfriends to think about their actions, unless they absolutely hate their friend’s boyfriend then they’ll just say “go for it”.In this, I have to disagree. Judging by what I've seen on LS, there's a subsection of the girl population who will encourage cheating but in a less direct manner than boys. It's couched in "romance". How incredibly romantic to have a love triangle, n'est ce pas? Regardless, we're just talking about girls and boys, not men and women. Men and women realize that if they're not monogamous, not to get involved in monogamous relationships.
Miss Stress Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I didn't say he cheated but was strongly encouraged to when being hit on by a young girl even though the people that encouraged him were close to me as well. It's a known fact that it happens a lot between men and I have seen this pattern with other men besides my ex when they're having their “boys nights out”. A lot of single men encourage their friends to cheat, it’s a fact. I'm just curious about the psychology behind it. I totally know what your talking about and I don't get it either. Guys can just be mean. They aren't nurturing usually. Even when they love ea other you'll see them punch ea other for fun. Same thing trying to get a guy to cheat. If a guy has a great girl and esp if she is hot and he's happy, his friends will do everything they possibly can to destroy it. YES, they want to break you up so he can be single and miserable just like them. Shallow, empty people are jealous. Even women do this. I've had gf's try and get me to cheat too b/c they can't stand to see me so happy. Jealousy is disgusting and infantile but it happens on both sides. Look at guys in business. Do they try to help ea other. No, they try to destroy ea other. Cave man style. If I take down the competition, I'll be more successful. Not true, but a common mentality. My money says you don't live in a small town. I think this is more common in big cities. But yes, I see guys at happy hour putting money on their friends bedding a chick in a bar. "I got 500 says you can't hit that." IMO, you put a group of (MOST) guys together, add alcohol and yes, they will attempt to tear ea other down any way they can. Then they'll tell you he cheated and "be there" for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, offer to take you out, get you to drink to soothe the pain and try to bang you. That my friend, is life in the city if you ask me.
Recommended Posts