foreal Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It was one year ago today my H decided to cross the EA line into PA. It ended in April... and he's been remorseful, etc...but today sux..today, on eyear ago, my M ended. God I am in pain.
Snowflower Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 That has to be rough for you to know the exact day. I'm so sorry for your pain. I can definitely sympathize.
Author foreal Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Thanks Snowflower- I am so unsure of how I feel and what I want. He has the next few days off- we are supposed to go do something today, as a family, then just the two for us tomorrow...but I am not sure I even want to be near him today...should I power thru and try, or just go off alone? I hope some other BSs can give me some input..maybe even the WSs....geez, I dont want my H to feel worse than he already does, but damn, I feel so bad.
PhoenixRise Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Foreal I think you have to be a little selfish today. Not to deliberately make your H feel bad but because YOU feel bad. If you need time to yourself today....take it. If you need to pamper yourself today....do it. Go for a walk, get a massage, get a mani pedi. Do whatever you need to do for yourself today. I think if you just try to power through it you will just end up resenting your H more Because you are having to power through it. BUT If you honor how you are feeling, at the end of the day you might be able to enjoy and connect with your H. Just My Opinion. I know this is hard. I hope you feel better.
Lyssa Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It was one year ago today my H decided to cross the EA line into PA. It ended in April... and he's been remorseful, etc...but today sux..today, on eyear ago, my M ended. God I am in pain. I am so sorry to hear about your M, foreal. I agree with one of the posters, you have to be a bit selfish right now - take care of yourself. Do you have any children?
Author foreal Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I am so sorry to hear about your M, foreal. I agree with one of the posters, you have to be a bit selfish right now - take care of yourself. Do you have any children? I have one son, a toddler-
Lyssa Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I have one son, a toddler- Look after your baby boy and yourself. I'm sure you'll receive more feedback/support later.
Spark1111 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 foreal, My advice is to make the day your own! Make it fun, make it original, make it true to you! I have found with these rotten anniversaries, which only began to abate in the 2nd year after DDay for me, is to create a new memory for yourself! With or without him. With or without your family. Whatever works. Why not kick the ball into his court, and see what he comes up with???? If you do not like his plans, explain why and make some of your own! And, IMHO, if your grow ressentful towards him, there is not too much you can do about that..... It's still too soon for you.
redtail Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It was one year ago today my H decided to cross the EA line into PA. It ended in April... and he's been remorseful, etc...but today sux..today, on eyear ago, my M ended. God I am in pain. I'm so sorry, I know what you're going through. Been there, done that. However I no longer remember the D-Day, I fondly remember the day my exwife and I separated/divorced. My advise though, is to do the things you think you need to do to make this day less significant. You have wounds that need to heal and maybe a professional can help you with that. Counseling, and if your husband is willing, marriage counseling is a good start. For me, it helped me to move forward, to see where I wanted to be in a 6 months, a year, 2 years. It sounds like you still have a lot to say, alot to talk about and get out of your system about this. Are you certain that your husband is a keeper? If so, then he needs to be part of the solution. In my opinion, there is a huge burden on him to overcome the break in trust, his participation in the healing helps to mend that trust. Best of luck to you!
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