sweetjasmine Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The "if I were 10 years younger" bit is just...ugh. If I were you, I'd dump him. You'll be better off without him. Firstly, he cheated on you. Secondly, he was clearly having sexual feelings about a child of 17, which is extremely freaky in my book given that he's a middle aged man. Dump this cradle snatcher and run like the wind. 33 isn't middle aged, and 17 isn't childhood. But I agree that it's creepy, freaky, and weird, as is the 40 year old married man kissing her when she was 17 and saying he fantasized about sleeping with her. Makes my skin crawl.
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The "if I were 10 years younger" bit is just...ugh. If I were you, I'd dump him. You'll be better off without him. 33 isn't middle aged, and 17 isn't childhood. But I agree that it's creepy, freaky, and weird, as is the 40 year old married man kissing her when she was 17 and saying he fantasized about sleeping with her. Makes my skin crawl. A 17yo is legally a child who is still in the custody of their parents/guardians, and a 33yo man is almost halfway through his life (assuming he lives to 70-ish as most people do). Any adult pursuing a child in a sexual way is creepy imo, even if the child in question is pretty close to being an adult.
sweetjasmine Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 A 17yo is legally a child who is still in the custody of their parents/guardians, In some cases, yes, but according to the consent laws for a lot of states in the US, 17 is legal. I don't think 17 year olds are fully adults (and the brain doesn't finish developing until age 21-22, anyway), but I don't think they're children either. But that's pretty irrelevant because we agree that it's still creepy. Any adult pursuing a child in a sexual way is creepy imo, even if the child in question is pretty close to being an adult. An adult pursuing a child in a sexual way is just plain wrong and f-ed up, IMO. Someone in their 30s pursuing someone who's 16 or 17 or 18 is creepy and gross, and it's probably exploitative.
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it much Hendersongirl A 33 year old man would never do anything with 18 year old girls, it wouldnt be appropriate and that alone would dispel any lascivious thoughts he may have entertained totally by accident while trying to think of other much more innocent things What the heck have you been smoking? I think your sarcasm and irony detection unit is broken. I would get it replaced asap.
Author hendersongirl Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 :( This is my real life you are joking about
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 :( This is my real life you are joking about Sorry. You should be worried. What he is doing is very inappropriate, the chat you posted is the prelude to more, no doubt about it. Since you can't put a stop to it, you should break up (as others mentioned before).
girl68 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 ^ True. Even if he hasn't touched her... he implies that he would if he were younger! And that's coming from a man who is supposedly in a loving relationship? I think not. *face palm*
Lucky_One Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 It's a given that they are attracted to each other, and they are flirting with each other and meeting together with no other people present. It is only a matter of time before they kiss - or worse. You can try to salvage your R with him now, by telling him that he can make a choice to be with you (and stop seeing her, stop FBing with her, stop emailing or calling her, stop chatting to her in any sort of friendly way, and to not teach her after this class is over), or he can be with her (because you will break up with him if he continues any sort of contact besides 100% professional).
Adunaphel Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 ARGH he is chatting to her on facebook RIGHT NOW and I am watching along and she said she has never had a boyfriend and he said "If I were 10 years younger" and she said "If I were 10 years older" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I want to smash them both in the face Please, dump this idiot on the spot. As you are only 22, and after the kissing a 17 years old girl episode, the "but she is just a 18 years old girl, wouldn't consider her in tht light" card cannot be dealt.
Lucky_One Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I want to add - the key word in my post is "possibly". You may be able to salvage your R, and very likely you will not be able to. It will take 100% of his cooperation, and he may not want to give you that. It depends on how deeply he cares for you, or how easily he thinks he can find another 18-22 year old to date.
kiss_andmakeup Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I'm surprised no one has noted that it's also extremely cocky, disrespectful, and tasteless that he said that to her (about if he "were 10 years younger") while you were sitting right there, in plain sight, able to view their conversation! Why on earth would you put up with this behaviour? My boyfriend and I have the same age gap as you guys do (22 and 33) so I'm obviously not biased just because of that. Sure it is creepy that he is hanging around with an 18 year old, sure it's equally creepy that he kissed a 17 year old, but REGARDLESS of age, the behaviour is inappropriate. Adults who are in relationships don't go out seeking single members of the opposite sex to be best buddies with. I looked back on your previous posts and it seems like you guys have had issues in the past. You are a young, vibrant woman and you are in the beginning of your prime years as far as dating is concerned. You are wasting them with someone who just makes you worried and jealous...and honestly it almost seems like he does it on purpose! Ditch this tool.
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