hendersongirl Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Ok, there's this girl in one of his classes, she has just turned 18 (I am 22 and he is 33). I think she is totally vile and horrible. Probably mostly jealousy. She is a typical immature 18 year old girl, giggles about breaking the law by drinking a glass of wine (before she turned 18), flirting with everyone and just generally being annoying and immature. I can't stand her. My bf thinks she is "cute" and thinks it is endearing that she is so immature. I hate her damn guts. The more they hang out (for coffee after class, that sort of thing) the more I hate her. ARGH!!! Mostly I just needed to vent about how vile and annoying she is. I WISH he wouldn't be friends with her. But he has basically no other friends here, and they haven't done anything wrong so I can't really ban him from seeing her. I spy on their facebook conversations and stuff and nothing that bad has happened - he told her she was "lovely" once when she forgave him for yelling at a guy at her 18th birthday party, and he tells her she doesn't seem as young as she is. She f*cking laps it up. He has assured me that he only sees her as a young girl and cute means as in a kid, not as in a hot girl. But I am still so jealous! I worry constantly that she is plotting to seduce him or something. :(
burning 4 revenge Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it much Hendersongirl A 33 year old man would never do anything with 18 year old girls, it wouldnt be appropriate and that alone would dispel any lascivious thoughts he may have entertained totally by accident while trying to think of other much more innocent things
utterer of lies Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it much Hendersongirl A 33 year old man would never do anything with 18 year old girls, it wouldnt be appropriate and that alone would dispel any lascivious thoughts he may have entertained totally by accident while trying to think of other much more innocent things :laugh:
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Ok, there's this girl in one of his classes, she has just turned 18 (I am 22 and he is 33). I think she is totally vile and horrible. Probably mostly jealousy. She is a typical immature 18 year old girl, giggles about breaking the law by drinking a glass of wine (before she turned 18), flirting with everyone and just generally being annoying and immature. I can't stand her. My bf thinks she is "cute" and thinks it is endearing that she is so immature. I hate her damn guts. The more they hang out (for coffee after class, that sort of thing) the more I hate her. ARGH!!! Mostly I just needed to vent about how vile and annoying she is. I WISH he wouldn't be friends with her. But he has basically no other friends here, and they haven't done anything wrong so I can't really ban him from seeing her. I spy on their facebook conversations and stuff and nothing that bad has happened - he told her she was "lovely" once when she forgave him for yelling at a guy at her 18th birthday party, and he tells her she doesn't seem as young as she is. She f*cking laps it up. He has assured me that he only sees her as a young girl and cute means as in a kid, not as in a hot girl. But I am still so jealous! I worry constantly that she is plotting to seduce him or something. :( Well you already know he doesn't have a problem with dating women who are too young for him. Sounds like he's pretty immature. If he respected your relationship, he wouldn't be hanging around with her. It doesn't sound like she'll need to seduce him, honestly.
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 If you want to prevent him from seeing her, because of your jealousy, I suggest you make yourself more attractive to him, make yourself more fun, so that he wont WANT to hang around that girl. I hope your not voicing your concerns about her to him, you'll just turn him off. Or you could start hanging around some guy and see how he likes it.
New Again Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 OP shouldn't have to do anything but be her own wonderful self. She absolutely should NOT have to keep her mouth shut and put on a happy face and put all kinds of energy into competing with some other girl, just to get her bf to RESPECT her.
girl68 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I would not assume he wouldn't touch a young girl... you have an ELEVEN year age difference. Yeah so that said- in this case can't rule out the youngin we already know he gets "down" like that. As for him potentially cheating... only you know that. Would he? Could he? Do they spend time alone or just with friends or school groups or what? I do agree it's a bit.... err, ummm odd that a MAN who is 33 is friends with a 18 year old GIRL.
Green Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 In his mind it probably is inocent. But you have valid reasons for not wanting this kind of friendship, and she probably is really anoying so yes you have a right to end it
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It could be innocent, but if its not, it will be the beginning of the end-if thats the way he is. Which sucks for you.
MissJoness Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It seems that you are already getting 'too old' for him, and he wants a girl even younger and fresher than you are. Seriously, I find this a problem and would not let my guard down if I were you. He is digging this 18 year old girl. He is just one of those guys who likes young women and the minute they get older and wiser he disposes them for someone else younger
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It seems that you are already getting 'too old' for him, and he wants a girl even younger and fresher than you are. Seriously, I find this a problem and would not let my guard down if I were you. He is digging this 18 year old girl. He is just one of those guys who likes young women and the minute they get older and wiser he disposes them for someone else younger I dont think thats the case, but it could very well be that he feels some kind of instant connection with her just by talking. If not, and hes hitting on her....uh oh..
MissJoness Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I dont think thats the case, but it could very well be that he feels some kind of instant connection with her just by talking. If not, and hes hitting on her....uh oh.. Yeah right. What kind of connection could he have with some 18 year old girl? she's probably not even that pretty, just really really young, dumb and easy. I'd be infuriated if I were the OP, and wouldn't even be on this computer right now, I'd be somewhere whooping his a$$
utterer of lies Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yeah right. What kind of connection could he have with some 18 year old girl? Exactly, given he's 33 and his gf is 22, the difference between her and the 18-yo would be enormous.
Author hendersongirl Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 Wow, ok everyone. Thanks for your replies. Some people seem to have a narrow view of friendship. I have friends who are every age from 16 (friends of my sisters) up to 80. I don't think that's weird, I think it is healthy to get along with every age. Just a number, and all that. Before me, my bf's girlfriends have mostly been his own age or one or two years younger, but one was 8 years older. I think age is (mostly) just a number, and he is definitely not immature - I am overly mature. I always have been. As a kid I was 'boring' to the other kids, but I found THEM boring, and used to sit with the teachers at lunchtime sometimes for a bit of decent conversation. However, to throw a spanner in the works... 2 1/2 years ago (6 months into our relationship) my bf kissed a 17 year old girl (then felt really awful and came and told me and I forgave him), then in the following 6 months she stalked him and followed him around and kept telling him she loved him etc etc, and he kept telling her he was with me and to please leave him alone if they cant just be friends, but he is so weak he would keep meeting up with her thinking they were just friends and get there to find she bought him gifts and stuff. That all ended when she walked in on my bf and I naked, and she screamed at him and ran off. Anyway, I think if it hadn't been for this I wouldn't be so worried - but it is bringing everything back and in my mind this new friend is THAT girl. Immature and unable to control herself and with no understanding of boundaries or respect to relationships. I was in a similar situation when I was 17 - there was a married 40 year old man who I was friends with and did volunteer work with. We got on really well and joked around and etc. Then he kissed me, and as an impressionable girl I had been crushing on and fantasising about him, so I kissed back. Then he said "I've often thought about making love to you"... And I backed off and said "What would Sandy think?" and that was that. But I was so tempted. I know what the mindset of immaturity in love is like, (and this girl is a virgin and has never had a proper boyfriend) so I can only assume what is going on in her mind. This sexy, older, REAL man is giving me attention... WOW CLING. On the other (more rational) hand, their class has only 5 people - 2 old men in their 60s, my bf, a 30 year old guy and this girl. The 30 year old guy is a real snob and won't talk to anyone and one of the 60 year olds is similar. So the 60 year old, my bf and this girl hang out for lunch or coffee after class quite often. This was fine to me until he started saying she was 'cute' and they started hanging out a bit more and without the 60 year old.
Citizen Erased Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it much Hendersongirl A 33 year old man would never do anything with 18 year old girls, it wouldnt be appropriate and that alone would dispel any lascivious thoughts he may have entertained totally by accident while trying to think of other much more innocent things What the heck have you been smoking? Time bomb waiting to go off... Agreed...
Author hendersongirl Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 ARGH he is chatting to her on facebook RIGHT NOW and I am watching along and she said she has never had a boyfriend and he said "If I were 10 years younger" and she said "If I were 10 years older" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I want to smash them both in the face
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 ARGH he is chatting to her on facebook RIGHT NOW and I am watching along and she said she has never had a boyfriend and he said "If I were 10 years younger" and she said "If I were 10 years older" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I want to smash them both in the face Jesus. Break. Up. With. Him.
Author hendersongirl Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 Really? Is it bad enough? I am so scared to... Please help me be strong
boogieboy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 youre just going to do nothing and live with it. Have fun watching him chat with her. Be secretly jealous for the rest of your relationship....while they take more classes together.
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 This girl sounds very immature. Giggling about drinking a glass of wine before she was 18? Oh please, a lot of girls are out nightclubbing and getting drunk and having sex at the age of 16 and 17. She sounds like she's led a very sheltered life, particularly if she's 18 and has never had a bf. The fact that your bf thinks such immaturity is endearing verges on paedophilia. A 33 year old guy who would even consider dating a child of 18 has to be a little bit sick in the head. Dump him now; him saying things such as "if only I were 10 years younger" to any other woman is completely unacceptable, much less when the other woman is actually a teenage kid and the guy in question is old enough to be her father.
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Some people seem to have a narrow view of friendship. I have friends who are every age from 16 (friends of my sisters) up to 80. I don't think that's weird, I think it is healthy to get along with every age. Just a number, and all that. Being friends with people of different ages is nothing like having a relationship with them. My sister is 19 and I get along with her friends, but only as friends... same with friends of my parents. My teenage neighbour sometimes comes to my house because I let him play on my video games and borrow my books; he's a nice kid but I wouldn't have a relationship with him! I have another neighbour who's in his 70s; we have coffee occasionally because he gets lonely since his wife died, but I wouldn't have a relationship with him either! Having a relationship with someone really requires a sort of mental equality - that equality can be found between two people of any age, but they at least both have to be adults. If one person is a child then that's just perverted, and verges on paedophilia on the part of the other person. Before me, my bf's girlfriends have mostly been his own age or one or two years younger, but one was 8 years older. I think age is (mostly) just a number, and he is definitely not immature - I am overly mature. 8 years is nothing when both people are adults, but it's a huge difference when one person is an adult and the other is a child - imagine a 23yo dating a 15yo schoolkid! However, to throw a spanner in the works... 2 1/2 years ago (6 months into our relationship) my bf kissed a 17 year old girl (then felt really awful and came and told me and I forgave him) Firstly, he cheated on you. Secondly, he was clearly having sexual feelings about a child of 17, which is extremely freaky in my book given that he's a middle aged man. Dump this cradle snatcher and run like the wind. I was in a similar situation when I was 17 - there was a married 40 year old man who I was friends with and did volunteer work with. We got on really well and joked around and etc. Then he kissed me, and as an impressionable girl I had been crushing on and fantasising about him, so I kissed back. Then he said "I've often thought about making love to you"... Omg, what kind of freaky guys are you associating with? A 40yo who kisses a 17yo and tells her he thinks about having sex with her... what a pervert. You really need to find some guys who aren't complete paedophiles; you sure know how to pick them!
ashleyelle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Yeah, I am sorry to say that he sounds like a cheater. Sadly, I know from my own experience that once you cheat, it becomes increasingly easier to cheat and more tempting. I am with you on the age only being a number thing, I was 17 almost 18 and dating a 15 year old. He was very mature, and we got on fine. I also french kissed a 29 year old co worker when I was 16, so I agree about the age not mattering much. However, this is a pretty huge stretch in age. I would move on. Find a guy who loves you for you, not for how inexperienced and "fresh" you are. If he doesn't shack up with this kid, he'll find a 19 year old. And in 3 years, he'll find a 21 year old. And you will just get older and older as he does, and you will constantly be worried and unsatisfied as he keeps flirting it up when younger and younger girls. You deserve better than this. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But really, do yourself a favor. You're only 22. Don't waste your time on a man who feels the need to prey on jail bait due to feeling "past his prime". Good luck. If you need anything, please message me.
Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it much Hendersongirl A 33 year old man would never do anything with 18 year old girls, it wouldnt be appropriate and that alone would dispel any lascivious thoughts he may have entertained totally by accident while trying to think of other much more innocent things You obviosuly haven't seen any movies starring Jeremy Irons.............
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