john1988 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Still gutted obviously after splitting up with my ex all those many moons ago but who like me, feels a sense of relief? Not having to put up with mood swings now and again, conversation that you're maybe not interested in? Friends of theirs you truely didn't like but had to make an effort with? Annoying family members etc etc? I genuinely think about her current BF at times and I chuckle I feel sorry for him I put up with alot of whining and moaning and took so much crap that I wouldn't normally. I'd love to go back and say "Shut the hell up." Anyone feel the same and have stories to share or in the mood for ranting?
Peanut9330 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yes! not only do I feel relief but I feel great, the only pain that I have now is that he's trying to get me back and refuses to take no for an answer, But I really do feel good about the whole thing and I'm glad that I was able to move on I just cant wait till he gets the message and just leaves me alone. I moved on and I haven’t looked back since.
Author john1988 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Yes! not only do I feel relief but I feel great, the only pain that I have now is that he's trying to get me back and refuses to take no for an answer, But I really do feel good about the whole thing and I'm glad that I was able to move on I just cant wait till he gets the message and just leaves me alone. I moved on and I haven’t looked back since. Great story, keep going never give in sounds like you know that now though, nothing good will come of it if you were to get back together, put it down to experience and stay strong.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 No, there's no sense of relief. Our lives were too entwined. And I am the one cleaning up the mess. How can I feel relieved? But I am glad some people do.
caramel c Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 No relief here. There is more stewing inside me than at the downtown soup kitchen.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 No relief here. There is more stewing inside me than at the downtown soup kitchen. I feel that! Anyone up for angry, downtrodden, heart breaking minstrone? I'll take a BOWL!
Author john1988 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Guys I think you need to see the funny side of it, it will help you get through things easier, there must have been some flaws surely?
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Lol. I do see the funny side of it. Trust me. But I answered the question, genuinely. I crack myself up. Ever drive really fast down an empty highway with the music blaring and just make faces at people in the car with you? That always helps. Everyone laughs.
caramel c Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Lol. I do see the funny side of it. Trust me. But I answered the question, genuinely. I crack myself up. Ever drive really fast down an empty highway with the music blaring and just make faces at people in the car with you? That always helps. Everyone laughs. lmao Ya, if there is ONE thing that I am most grateful for it is my sense of humor. It keeps me going. There are very few things in life that you can't laugh about.
Author john1988 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Lol. I do see the funny side of it. Trust me. But I answered the question, genuinely. I crack myself up. Ever drive really fast down an empty highway with the music blaring and just make faces at people in the car with you? That always helps. Everyone laughs. haha you're a funny dude man
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 haha you're a funny dude man I try. Gotta laugh sometimes. When sh*t gets to be too much to handle, I laugh. IDK. It's how I cope! But relief? Nah, not yet. Still too raw. lol.
Tayla Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Interesting use of the term relief. Usually I associate a sense of Peace of mind and settlement. Which in the past has happened. Took a LONG while sometimes to gain that peace and serenity. Perhaps the relief or release of anger, frustration helps to move someone forward. One funny story of a break up was lightening fast and so was the immediate relief/peace of mind. BF and I driving back from an amusement park. The day was a total wipeout. No matter what lighthearted discussion I presented he wanted to argue. So on the way home...120 miles from home I might add, he insisted on picking fights. Try as I might I just wanted to get home and chalk the day up as a BAD ONE. Instead I politely said, Pull over. He did. I graciously got out of the car and said, BTW I get your desire to fight . Now get my desire that I am done! I walked to a convenience store, called a friend and seriously smiled that I knew I did the right thing. No regrets and No remorse. Its absolutely A-OK to rant about past relationships, it cleanses the toxicity out. Its also A-OK to split and get peace when you know in your heart it was the right thing to do. My prayers go out to folks who are going thru such stages...
Author john1988 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Interesting use of the term relief. Usually I associate a sense of Peace of mind and settlement. Which in the past has happened. Took a LONG while sometimes to gain that peace and serenity. Perhaps the relief or release of anger, frustration helps to move someone forward. One funny story of a break up was lightening fast and so was the immediate relief/peace of mind. BF and I driving back from an amusement park. The day was a total wipeout. No matter what lighthearted discussion I presented he wanted to argue. So on the way home...120 miles from home I might add, he insisted on picking fights. Try as I might I just wanted to get home and chalk the day up as a BAD ONE. Instead I politely said, Pull over. He did. I graciously got out of the car and said, BTW I get your desire to fight . Now get my desire that I am done! I walked to a convenience store, called a friend and seriously smiled that I knew I did the right thing. No regrets and No remorse. Its absolutely A-OK to rant about past relationships, it cleanses the toxicity out. Its also A-OK to split and get peace when you know in your heart it was the right thing to do. My prayers go out to folks who are going thru such stages... Great stuff that's brilliant sock it to him sister haha
JL911 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Well I think the biggest relief I am feeling is that I am glad I did not enter into marriage with my ex only to have this happen a year or so down the road and be left with an even bigger loss. The void and the daily schedule are very hard to get through without hearing from her. I know what type of person I am and have stood by as a supportive, loyal guy for over 3 years with her. Maybe one day she will realize what kind of person she let go, Im sure by then I will be strong and have enough confidence to say no. The biggest disappointment is that you really thought you knew what you had, you were so happy, so content with someone, and they just turn it all around on you and flip your entire world.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yup. I feel your pain. But you know, you can't save someone if they won't save themselves.
moo Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 teeny bit of relief. He left me 4 months ago. teeny relief because he was a horrible boyfriend and extremely selfish. Most of the relief comes from me reading this book I, "Loving Me." I realize now more than ever what a disgusting thing he was..so I'm somewhat relieved. I never have to deal with that bowl of scum again.
NopeNah Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I WAS feeling relief until a little over 2wks ago when she came back. Now I see even more clearly most if not many more of the traits that drove me crazy! I did feel a bit sorry for the new guy she was seeing but, that ended before the honeymoon phase was over. So he didn't get the chance to see the CRAZY side of things! Or maybe he did and thats why they didn't workout?haha! Anyways, now I need to end this with her before it drives me insane again. He can have her and all the hangups!
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I WAS feeling relief until a little over 2wks ago when she came back. Now I see even more clearly most if not many more of the traits that drove me crazy! I did feel a bit sorry for the new guy she was seeing but, that ended before the honeymoon phase was over. So he didn't get the chance to see the CRAZY side of things! Or maybe he did and thats why they didn't workout?haha! Anyways, now I need to end this with her before it drives me insane again. He can have her and all the hangups! I look at it the same. Problem is, my ex is a chameleon. She absorbs the other person's personality. Second person I dated like that. Done with it. So, it's nigh impossible to tell whats really going on. Sad thing is, I don't think I ever truly got to know her- just a fictional portrayal of myself.
joseffrost Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I was just thinking today how pathetic it is for someone to act in the way my ex has. To talk of the future for two years and then leave, resisting all my early attempts to talk to her as though I was a stranger. At first it hurt, of course it did - it virtually tore me apart. But people like that lose in the long run, they don't know what unconditional love is, and may never find it. So in that sense, yes I am relieved. I can now walk down the street with a smile on my face and a song in my heart once again. I'm remembering just how much fun it is to meet new people, to live unbridled and to be responsible only for myself and for those closest members of my family who I care for the most. Maybe this cloud does have a silver lining.
t0ri Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yes, I feel relieved. Relieved that I don't have to worry about him, deal with relationship problems in general, but mostly I'm relieved that I don't have to feel hurt/disappointed by him ever again. He took me for granted, put his friends before me, and all-around didn't care about me as much as I thought he did, although it was pretty evident. He treated me like dirt sometimes and made me cry fairly often. I'm relieved he's not in my life anymore (today, at least ). I deserve better than what he put me through.
Beeotch Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I am not relieved in the sense that a weight is lifted off me...nope....not relieved. I do however, with my brain, think that I am glad I found out about his issues now before it got any deeper and I know he cannot give me what I need. I know these things and that the situation is perhaps for the best but do I feel content, happy, care-free, relieved? Not at all.
disarm_1 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 You know i've been reading break up advice all over the place. I read somewhere that seeking a professional to talk to might help. So I did just that and saw a therapist. We talked for awhile and at the end of the session she says "Let me ask you something...Do you feel relieved?". that question totally surprised me and I couldn't think of a response. I went totally blank. Finally I said yes. I am a relieved but honestly can't tell you why. The only thing O could come up with was commenting on how for the past 3yrs she's controlled the cd player in my car, and it feels good to listen to what i want to listen to. Haha. I don't know why but there is a sense of relief. I miss her like crazy and would have rather not have been dumped but yes...there is relief.
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