AnswersPls Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Hey guys, Its me.. Need some advise on whether I am thinking too much. the background is: Broke up for 2 months, He is keeping NC, but I have called him once three weeks ago to catch up. Recently I have deleted him on MSN. But still have him on skype (not able to delete yet.. still missing him).. For him, i know that he is only on skype when he is gaming which is at night after work. But nowadays, I see him on skype as soon as he starts work at 9am. I am wondering if he is on skype. just to keep a track on me. But he has not contacted me at all.. Am I thinking too much?.. Pls help. Also, I am still confused if I should .. stay NC.. or skype message me.. What should i do?
Azza1985 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I feel for your current predicament. i have been broken up for just under 2 months my self. and i have to say that keeping an eye on when they are online just leads to more temptation to make contact, unfortunately i found that when that contact was made it only ever left me feeling unfulfilled. Truly its hard to break a connection that has been nurtured and held close for so long but in the end is anything that can be said between you two going to give you the peace you desire? Stay strong and keep moving forward even if forward involves a true test of your emotional strength. You asked if you should stay NC, i have to say yes, as in my own experiences i have found breaking it never leads to anything but more questions, more desire, more hope and ultimately more unhappiness. Azza
Author AnswersPls Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 I feel for your current predicament. i have been broken up for just under 2 months my self. and i have to say that keeping an eye on when they are online just leads to more temptation to make contact, unfortunately i found that when that contact was made it only ever left me feeling unfulfilled. Truly its hard to break a connection that has been nurtured and held close for so long but in the end is anything that can be said between you two going to give you the peace you desire? Stay strong and keep moving forward even if forward involves a true test of your emotional strength. You asked if you should stay NC, i have to say yes, as in my own experiences i have found breaking it never leads to anything but more questions, more desire, more hope and ultimately more unhappiness. Azza I am trying to stay strong. but. its seems so painful.. hes so near. yet so far.. we have been together for 4 yrs.. so much experience we had together.. What if I want him back, what if I am still waiting for him.. should I really go NC.. or try to stay as friends. to see if there is a chance.. I know NC is the best way to recover.. but.. how long will it take me to recover.. I have read of exs coming back after realising their mistake. how can I make him realise his mistake?.. I am afriad that if I NC, he will think that I am not there anymore and then will not come back. Is it true that if an ex want you back they will climb mountains to get you back? Have you heard of such cases? By the way, in your case, were you the dumper or dumpee. How long were u two together. and what happened?
Beeotch Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 This reminds me of my ex....he would ALWAYS sign onto yahoo messenger as invisible. ALWAYS. I would never know when he was online unless he spoke to me first. But then when I started doing NC all of a sudden I saw him online ALL the time...as if he was trying to see if me seeing him online would mean that I would speak to him, because of course if he is on invisible I would have the excuse that I didn't see him...but if he's not then I don't and am more likely to speak. I didn't give in...and then ended up deleting him because it bothered me to see him online and know we weren't saying anything to each other. Until one day he popped up and spoke to me.... So I do strongly feel as though he was trying to test me with that tactic. ...................but the point is, you just don't know for certain. I believe I am right but I also consider that maybe that wasn't the case. What is sure is: allow HIM to message you if he so chooses and not the other way around. That is what I have done. My ex has been the one to initiate contact since I started NC..and I have responded but I think he realizes that I do not initiate first....so he then mysteriously got a new gf. I think he has realized that I'm not speaking to him and it is quite a shock since I always used to initiate some form of contact...so I suppose he believes I hate him or am over him and have moved on as I have given him ZERO indication that I want him/think about him. This also makes me think and think and analyze and wonder about if he misses me and thinks I do not miss him so he doesn't want to bruise his fragile ego so he got a rebound and is pretending not to care? Should I reach out? Or does he truly not care at all? And the thoughts go on....but so far my bets bet is to keep NC. I am not strong enough yet to hear what he has to say/what he doesn't have to say. I refuse to reach out to him until I am at a point where I am less concerned and can't be that hurt over his response....it could be good or bad but I DON'T KNOW....so I would rather be safe and leave it alone than contact him and be let down.
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