When do you throw in the towel?

[Dubois]

I've gone out with this guy 4 times and there's a fifth meeting planned (his idea). Tonight we went to dinner and then he sat in my car for two hours and we chatted. The conversation is easy and light hearted. And absolutely nothing physical. Not even a hug this time. And I would have done it but he jumped out really fast.

 

I'm assuming that I'm now on the friend path not the girlfriend path?

[WTRanger]

Not entirely. He could be misreading some of your signals to him. You could be scrambling his brain and not actually know it. Do you think that you could be giving off mixed signals? Maybe through words, or body language? Does he pay or is it dutch?

 

Or the guy could be a clueless oaf.

 

If you feel that strongly, take control. Be forward with him. He could be feeling the same way, but unsure of what to do. Just ask him what his vibe is. Don't just throw in the towel based on some assumptions. Assumptions are the mother of all f*ckups. Get facts.

[Chicago_Guy]

If he's paying for the dates, he's interested. He probably just cannot read you at all.

[SoulSearch_CO]

I think sometimes guys can be nervous to make that first move because they don't want to come across as a total creep. Maybe he thinks YOU have friendzoned HIM.

 

I'd give it one more date...but be a little more forward. Touch his hand maybe at dinner or if you go to a movie. If you sit side-by-side, you could put your hand on his leg (not THAT high ). When he jumped out of the car, you could have gotten out too and said, "How about a hug?"

 

The first date with the guy I'm seeing, I was the one that touched him first (kinda pushed him on the shoulder in a teasing way because he made a funny comment) and I was the one to offer him a hug. I think sometimes you need to make your green light a little more obvious for guys. Don't get discouraged so easily. It's hard making that first move for ANYBODY - you have to open the door.