mrsplinter17 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 a woman I work with (who is married) and I (also married) flirt with each other a lot at work. She and I (and our families) are friends outside of work as well. We are both faithful to our spouses but we know they would disapprove of some of the things we say to each other. We also both agree that even though you get married doesnt mean you automatically become immune from falling for other people - you just cannot act upon those feelings. She and I both know that we are attracted to each other but have never admitted it to the other except in little hints here and there when we flirt. I feel guilty about it and feel as though the longer this unspoken attraction goes on the more likely something inapropiate could happen. I am curious if it would be best to admit my true feelings to her. I think that if we would openly acknowledge our hidden feelings for each would help cool down the flame that is building between us. We can admit that an attraction exsists but unfortunately we cannot act upon it because of the vows we took. I believe this would help avoid a "it just happened" moment. I dont know?
loveslife Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I don't think that type of conversation helps avoid an oops like that. It's a decision you have to make for yourself. There's a difference between the romance of flirting and an actual relationship. Try and use the head on top of your shoulders for a little bit and really understand the road you're heading down. Why on earth anyone wants that kind of drama is beyond me. I strive for a peaceful life. Flirting with this woman has already damaged your peace of mind and consequently your marriage. You're not necessarily in love with her, you're in love with the drama. Just my opinion.
Trialbyfire Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 OP, I highly recommend you read the Other Woman/Other Man (OW/OM) and the Infidelity forums, on this site. In the first forum, you'll find major drama of neverending arguments between the betrayed spouses (BS) and the OW/OMs. In the Infidelity forum, you'll read more about the pain, anger, sadness and hurt, from the betrayed spouses. Get used to it if you're planning to travel down the dysfunctional road of a physical affair. Spend less time worrying about the affair partner of which yes, you're already in an emotional affair, and spend more time worrying about your own marriage and children, if you have any. It's time to examine why you're cheating on someone you vowed before God, legal entities and all loved ones, that you would remain true. Oh and no, don't confess your feelings...
utterer of lies Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 a woman I work with (who is married) and I (also married) flirt with each other a lot at work. She and I (and our families) are friends outside of work as well. We are both faithful to our spouses but we know they would disapprove of some of the things we say to each other. We also both agree that even though you get married doesnt mean you automatically become immune from falling for other people - you just cannot act upon those feelings. She and I both know that we are attracted to each other but have never admitted it to the other except in little hints here and there when we flirt. I feel guilty about it and feel as though the longer this unspoken attraction goes on the more likely something inapropiate could happen. I am curious if it would be best to admit my true feelings to her. I think that if we would openly acknowledge our hidden feelings for each would help cool down the flame that is building between us. We can admit that an attraction exsists but unfortunately we cannot act upon it because of the vows we took. I believe this would help avoid a "it just happened" moment. I dont know? Just f*ck her already. All the rationalizing and blahblah is pointless.
stepka Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Nope, I had a friend who had an affair with someone at work, and admitting the feelings just made it worse, and also made the affair inevitable. Before they admitted them, she said she just wondered, but after they admitted them it was like a roller coaster ride. I know, b/c I heard all about it at the time. Now I wish I hadn't b/c I realize she didn't show much respect for me by taking me into her confidence.
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