heatherb16 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Sorry for the long post, in advance. Weird? It's only been 2 months. At the beginning of the break up I expected this hurt and sadness to last many more months, even years. That's not the case. Everyone has their own turning point. Luckily, mine has come very suddenly, and soon. I cannot thank God enough for this. A little info: My ex and I started talking immediately after the break up. About 2 weeks into it we would talk for a couple of days, and then break contact, and would go on just like that, in a repeated pattern. I was still obsessing like crazy over the whole situation. I couldn't stop thinking about it. My Senior year in highschool was going to suck, summer vacation, which had just started, would be my worst summer yet. All I could think about was blaming myself or him, thinking of what COULD be, thinking of what we NEVER got to do, and what we DID get to do. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I found myself starting to go through my day, without having constant reminders, and thoughts, about him. I was not healed at this time, but could definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was also starting to realize the MANY lessons I have learned through all of this. I have grown and learned deeply from this experience. But, my turning point came, for me, 11 days ago. I know, not very long, but I know that this is it. A few days of no contact, then back to talking, wasn't really getting the job done for me. I didn't know how to initiate no contact for a long period of time, though. But 11 days ago, we talked on the phone. The person I talked to that night was not my ex boyfriend that I loved with all of my heart. It was actually the person I never thought he would become. He is a person you look at and go.."Wow, he is my worst enemy." I don't know if he just acts like this with me, but he is now an EXTREMELY self-centered person, cocky bastard, conniving, and rude. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Anyways, the next day, I decided to text him and tell him about something exciting that had happened, thinking he would respond back..Nothing. I sent one last text telling him I was a little unhappy with what had happened..Nothing. That was the last thing I sent him. I disected every part of our night conversation and the next day conversation between just myself. I began to realize.."You know what? Why should I have a desire to contact him, if he doesn't even give a crap about me?" There is no point, whatsoever. He doesn't want to hear from me, so why should I care to talk to him? And even, I'm to the point where he hasn't cared to talk to me, so when he does contact me, I feel like I will be strong enough. I have no desire to talk to him at all. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. He has become an a**h**e that I'd never thought he'd be. It just gave me a reason to not contact him. This is the event I have been waiting for so I could start this darn no contact. I'm very happy with the way this is happening. Many of you have told me to go into no contact, but that just wasn't enough for me, like I'm sure is the case with many others. I'm very stubborn and need a sure sign to show me that this is what is best. And I've received it. It's the best feeling in the world, knowing I have finally stopped obssesing, learned, and began moving on with NC. I truly believe I would have never been able to do complete NC without this sign. I'd be hurting, wanting to talk to him, and that is definitely not the case now. I've turned myself around-from wanting to hurt myself, to wanting to make myself happy. I guess I don't really have any questions. Just sharing my process. Good luck to all that are in the position I was once in. Just stay strong and give things time. Your turning point will come.
Author heatherb16 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Then don't read it. It's meant for people that actually WANT to read something that a person is gaining success from.
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