Dlyrica Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I want to just move on and let him do his thing. I'm so sad though, I feel like someone keeps punching me in the stomach. My friend decided to tell me this today because she wants me to be mad at my ex and hate him but I don't really hate him. I definitely did not want to know about who he is with. I do, however, hate this miserable feeling. I wish I had something to erase my memory. Does anyone have any inspirational thoughts, advice, good movies, etc??
fofiffs Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I know exactly how you feel, it really does hurt knowing they are with someone else. I'm in the same situation, my ex broke up with me almost 6 months ago and for some stupid reason i decided to check her myspace a few weeks ago and find out she is with someone else. It hurts like hell from the beginning but the pain will subside. Just do you and try not to think about him and the other girl. Don't let the situation bring you. And when looking for movies to watch I'd stick with comedy it got me through tough times when I just wanted to break down. And your a gorgeous girl by the way, your ex must be out of his mind to let you go!!!
bluewolf17 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 It's so easy to focus on him, and what he's doing..instead of you. This is what you should be focusing on. Whatever he is doing now is out of your hands. I read this somewhere.."Watching you walk out of my life has not made me bitter or cynical about love. If I wanted so badley for it to work with the wrong person, imagine how great it will be when the right one comes along". Find your right person. I personally am just sick over the day when my ex gets a new girlfriend. It's been six months and we are both still single..but one of these days....hang in there.
kizik Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I saw my ex with her new BF about four months after we broke up, at a concert. We made eye contact. I nearly vomited. It was awesome.
bluewolf17 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Kizik that sucks! I am the type to just Run! Turn around and just run away. Lol. And I have done it. I like to leave a WTF behind when I go.
Author Dlyrica Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 Thanks ya'll... I saw a picture of her holding the puppy I bought my ex on facebook. God this sucks...We only broke up a month ago.
JenniferxO Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Thats awful, a month after you broke up? Obviously he is not worth your time if he is willing to jump into a rebound relationship (that is definitely what it is) so quickly. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and realize YOU DON'T NEED HIM. You can do better. You will find mr. right, and he'll treat you like gold, so why settle? I know exactly how this feels. I live in a small town, and when my ex and i broke up, he decided to sleep with all the skanks he could find. No joke. Its nauseating. But you're better off. Just wait, if things aren't working out, he will attempt to run back to you, thats when It will be a slap in his face!! Goodluck!
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I say make a mission of getting a new friend. That friend is the one who punched you in the stomach by proxy. In that case you would shoot the messenger.
Beeotch Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I want to just move on and let him do his thing. I'm so sad though, I feel like someone keeps punching me in the stomach. My friend decided to tell me this today because she wants me to be mad at my ex and hate him but I don't really hate him. I definitely did not want to know about who he is with. I do, however, hate this miserable feeling. I wish I had something to erase my memory. Does anyone have any inspirational thoughts, advice, good movies, etc?? I so know the feeling...found out last week about my ex's new gf. It has been hard. I have gone through my ups and downs of feeling depressed and upset and like the wind has been knocked out of me...to feeling like I don't care...to feeling like this is a sham and a rebound because I haven't been speaking to him...and it goes all over again. I've resigned myself to the fact that I just have to go through it. I cannot do anything much to erase the knowledge and the feelings (although I WISH I could)....so I just journal about it, talk to my bestfriend and sister, read the forums, read inspirational books/websites and try to take my mind off it and make myself feel better.
openbook08 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I've resigned myself to the fact that I just have to go through it. I cannot do anything much to erase the knowledge and the feelings (although I WISH I could)..... same here...... its something i still cant get my head around..he moved in with her less than 4months together...and i guess theyll be a year together in the next few weeks. still cant believe that someone i loved soooo much for 5years is nearly 1year with someone else. meanwhile i still struggle. how is it so easy for the one who caused all the heartache??? whatver you do Dlyrica stop checking FB etc etc youll only end up hurting yourself more. youre a beautiful looking person + seem so kind&genuine youll meet someone who'll make all this pain worthwhile!
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yeah... I deleted FB and MS for this reason alone. It takes willpower, but I haven't checked her page since we broke up. It's difficult to deal with, I know. Been thru it a few times. Inspirational movies? SAW. Just imagine it's him being tortured. Good for the soul.
Ilovecake Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 It does sting finding that out but think of it this way now she gets to put up with all his annoying habits that you hated about him. I know it doesn't help much but that's how I dealt with it when I found out. I made a list of all the things I disliked about him and all the times he was mean to me and then I just though now this list belongs to her.
Tayla Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 its absolutely natural and necessary to feel the pain of memories and gifts. Its your body acknowledging that something you had held special is gone. Its when you dont feel anything but numb or indifference that you have to be concerned. It will ebb and flow ( the waves of emotions). You are going thru a break up...and thank heavens you did HAVE the experience of that relationship...it will serve you well when moving on to your next one... Healing thoughts to you. ANd yes, Read comics, View Comedy shows, and Stay with Positive folks!
stillafool Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Thanks ya'll... I saw a picture of her holding the puppy I bought my ex on facebook. God this sucks...We only broke up a month ago. OMG, that would kill me to see her holding the puppy. You poor thing. You are a beautiful girl and will have a new bf who will be better soon. Just stay off FB and stay busy, busy, busy and every time he pops in your mind just say "nope, go away, he's with her now". It really does help to move on.
Author Dlyrica Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Thanks for all the kind thoughts. Yesterday was horrible. I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours and I woke up like 5 times last night and would just be in a state of shock, cry, pass out again...I'm not sure I can do this. I feel so hopeless. By the way he broke up with me because I wasn't sucessful enough and he needed to figure out his life. Bleh, I need some sort of mantra to tell myself everytime they pop in my head, which is about every ten seconds.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Thanks for all the kind thoughts. Yesterday was horrible. I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours and I woke up like 5 times last night and would just be in a state of shock, cry, pass out again...I'm not sure I can do this. I feel so hopeless. By the way he broke up with me because I wasn't sucessful enough and he needed to figure out his life. Bleh, I need some sort of mantra to tell myself everytime they pop in my head, which is about every ten seconds. That succesful line is a crock. You are the only person who can describe success in your lifetime. Everyone else seeks happiness. The true are those who FIND it. It's very difficult but telling yourself "I am worth it" works. When my ex left, I had to be put on Zanax to control my anxiety attacks (Only started having them when she left.) You also need to remind yourself that you will be OK however this pans out. People who leap frog from one relationship to another never find happiness. They have an ill-gotten sense of entitlement. Well, no one is owed anything. You need to understand that people need to EARN what you have to offer. This dude clearly thinks he is above that. Best of luck.
angelface78 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Dlyrica, I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING YOURE GOING THROUGH. i JUST FOUND OUT 4 DAYS AGO MY EX OF 4.5 YEARS IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. wE JUST BROKE UP 2 MONTHS AGO. I DONT KNOW HOW SERIOUS THEY ARE AS HIS MYSPACE STILL SAYS SINGLE ..I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING. THE WAY I FOUND OUT IS HIS SISTER TOLD ME EVRYTHING. SHE SAID HE IS WITH SOME TRASHY CHICK WHO IS ONLY 22 AND HAS A TWO YEAR OLD SON. I ALSO HAVE BEEN IN A STATE OF SHOCK AND THE DAY I FOUND OUT... I SLEPT 2 HRS AND DIDNT EAT A THING THAT DAY. I KEPT WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH MY HEART POUNDING LIKE CRAZY. I GOT UP WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK. I THREW UP...BUT IT WAS ONLY LIQUID CAUSE I HADNT ATE. I FEEL HORRIBLE. DLYRICA WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP EACH OTHER OUT?? I HAVE MAINTAINED NC FOR 2 MONTHS BUT NOW THE FEELING OF CALLING AND ASKING HIM ABOUT THIS GIRL IS CREEPING IN! HELP ME AND I WILL HELP YOU.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Dlyrica, I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING YOURE GOING THROUGH. i JUST FOUND OUT 4 DAYS AGO MY EX OF 4.5 YEARS IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. wE JUST BROKE UP 2 MONTHS AGO. I DONT KNOW HOW SERIOUS THEY ARE AS HIS MYSPACE STILL SAYS SINGLE ..I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING. THE WAY I FOUND OUT IS HIS SISTER TOLD ME EVRYTHING. SHE SAID HE IS WITH SOME TRASHY CHICK WHO IS ONLY 22 AND HAS A TWO YEAR OLD SON. I ALSO HAVE BEEN IN A STATE OF SHOCK AND THE DAY I FOUND OUT... I SLEPT 2 HRS AND DIDNT EAT A THING THAT DAY. I KEPT WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH MY HEART POUNDING LIKE CRAZY. I GOT UP WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK. I THREW UP...BUT IT WAS ONLY LIQUID CAUSE I HADNT ATE. I FEEL HORRIBLE. DLYRICA WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP EACH OTHER OUT?? I HAVE MAINTAINED NC FOR 2 MONTHS BUT NOW THE FEELING OF CALLING AND ASKING HIM ABOUT THIS GIRL IS CREEPING IN! HELP ME AND I WILL HELP YOU. Go see a doctor. I got Zanax for myself. Did wonders. As far as the rest is concerned, it's SO hard to try and have an iron jaw when the ex gets with someone else. But, rest assured, 99% of them are rebounds. They never work. Honestly.
Author Dlyrica Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Dlyrica, I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING YOURE GOING THROUGH. i JUST FOUND OUT 4 DAYS AGO MY EX OF 4.5 YEARS IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. wE JUST BROKE UP 2 MONTHS AGO. I DONT KNOW HOW SERIOUS THEY ARE AS HIS MYSPACE STILL SAYS SINGLE ..I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING. THE WAY I FOUND OUT IS HIS SISTER TOLD ME EVRYTHING. SHE SAID HE IS WITH SOME TRASHY CHICK WHO IS ONLY 22 AND HAS A TWO YEAR OLD SON. I ALSO HAVE BEEN IN A STATE OF SHOCK AND THE DAY I FOUND OUT... I SLEPT 2 HRS AND DIDNT EAT A THING THAT DAY. I KEPT WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH MY HEART POUNDING LIKE CRAZY. I GOT UP WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK. I THREW UP...BUT IT WAS ONLY LIQUID CAUSE I HADNT ATE. I FEEL HORRIBLE. DLYRICA WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP EACH OTHER OUT?? I HAVE MAINTAINED NC FOR 2 MONTHS BUT NOW THE FEELING OF CALLING AND ASKING HIM ABOUT THIS GIRL IS CREEPING IN! HELP ME AND I WILL HELP YOU. I really wish I could help you, I don't even know how to help myself though
angelface78 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Go see a doctor. I got Zanax for myself. Did wonders. As far as the rest is concerned, it's SO hard to try and have an iron jaw when the ex gets with someone else. But, rest assured, 99% of them are rebounds. They never work. Honestly. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT 99 PERCENT ARE REBOUNDS?? I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU ;( IM SOOOO DEPRESSED!! zANAX WHAT DOES THAT DO?? RELAX YOU??
kizik Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 First, please quit your addiction to ALL CAPS. Secondly, do not use any drugs. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Do not block the pain with drugs.
BW007 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Take Heart. As a member of the guy world I have to say that based upon your kick ass smile alone that there are over a billion guys in the world that would fall all over themselves for the honor of putting up with your particular brand of B;)S, myself included. Now unless your personality is just a complete disaster, which I know is not true based on the empathy of your posts, your problem is short term and douchey doucherson is going to regret how unhappy he is and how happy you are in the future without his criticism and a much better person as your partner.....I know I am right about this. just relax,your life will be much better soon. DO NOT STICK WITH THAT GUY. One thing I will say though, I used to like to talk about food dishes and cooking and analyze things and I was always really honest, and liked talking about that with my ex and I found out she took it all as criticism, and I was just trying to talk about it creatively( I cook too) so I feel like she thought I was against her( I wasn't). Just realize that all guys are essentially idiots and don't know what we are doing most of the time.
stillafool Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Thanks for all the kind thoughts. Yesterday was horrible. I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours and I woke up like 5 times last night and would just be in a state of shock, cry, pass out again...I'm not sure I can do this. I feel so hopeless. By the way he broke up with me because I wasn't sucessful enough and he needed to figure out his life. Bleh, I need some sort of mantra to tell myself everytime they pop in my head, which is about every ten seconds. Long ago I had a man leave me for the same reason and today (years later) he said he has always regretted it and fantasied about the "what if's). Don't change who you are or what you believe in for anyone. Forgive him and move on knowing that life still holds the best for you. If he could let you go for that reason he didn't love you the way you want and deserve to be loved. I promise you that the best is ahead of you!
Author Dlyrica Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 Wow BW007 that was so sweet and made me feel alot better. Thanks! Stillafool your post helped me a lot too. Thank you. By the way, I did yoga today and it made me feel a little better temporarily.
Recommended Posts