voivod Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 i have combed through several other forums at other sites, looking for that pearl of wisdom, that golden nugget that will help me toward reconciliation. now, i'm here. the circumstances to my separation are not simple. i had a near life-ending stroke in january of 2008. along the road to recovery, a very smart doctor who was in charge of my recovery and rehab told me under no uncertain terms that i am "never to drink alcohol again." later, i found out that request was on my wifes behalf. she (wife) was instrumental in my survival and rehabilitation. fyi-i have returned to work, nearly fully recovered. anyway, when i return home, one of my goals was to mow my own lawn. i completed the mission on the hottest day of the year, then proceeded to go inside and pop a cold beer (leftover from before i went to the hospital). wife came home from the store. asked me where the beer went. i told her, she flipped out. crying, she flung her wedding ring at me and screamed "why would you do this to someone who tried so hard to save your life? it's over, that's it!" of course, i told her "honey, it's not like that! it was one beer." but she made plans to move out. wrote a check for deposit for an apartment. so, i found out about the check (written on our account) and refused to deposit my disability check in the bank. hey, i wasn't going to cover HER deposit check. so she calls me a few days later and asks about the deposit. i said "i don't know". playing dumb i'm good at. she found out i received the check but didn't deposit it, called me crying and said "we are supposed to be a team. you are not a team player!". whaat??? anyway, she moved out. now, here's where it gets weird. nearly every day since she's been moved out, we see each other. casually, many times with the kids, but dinners, movies, sporting events, lunches, sunday drives, she actually invited me to go to california to a big family function! i know some of the reasons for her separating are my jealousy, controlling, not allowing her independence, anger (i admit to all of these.) i believe she used the "beer incident" as an excuse. my questions are many. why does she continue to have me around? why has she not filed for divorce? and the big question: what do i do to prove to her that the jealousy, control, anger, etc. are gone. hate to sound like a "saved" man, but AA and zero alcohol has done wonders for me. what should i do?
MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 may be pouring from my own cup, but there's a possibility she's keeping you around until whatever it is she REALLY left for comes to fruition. any indication there may be someone else?
Author voivod Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 i have thought of that...there is NO indication of another person. we only see one another...i mean no indication. my previous bouts of jealousy led me that direction, but nope. i have considered the possibility of an affair. there is none. that would be too easy. me just living in denial. but nope. please re-read the original post. digest it. all the info i can provide is there. help me answer the question: how can i prove to her i'm worthy of a reconciliation?
Recommended Posts