what the h*ll does this mean, someone please help me understand

[furby19]

enough is enough. i have had it. what the hell does i love you but i am not in love with you mean. my friends and i have had too many hour long debates about this subject. this is extremely stupid. can someone please help me explain what this means.

[Goatsbreath]

To love someone :

 

Someone can love someone because they care about them, (mom and dad for instance), or a friend, or anyone for that matter. You just have a deep emotional care for the well being of that person.

 

To be in love with someone:

 

To be in love with someone means you would like the well being of that person to be intertwined with yours.

[amerikajin]

"I love you but I'm not in love with you" means "You're a nice girl/guy but I'm not interested in anything romantic with you."

 

Love and romantic love are two entirely different things. You can love someone as a good friend but you may not have fantasies of having sex in the rain with that person. You would call that person if the guy with whom you had sex in the rain broke your heart and had sex with some other chick in a Motel 6.

[furby19]

Istill don't understand. You see, what started this debate between me and my friends was when my friend told us that her boyfriend of two years told her that. And guess what, he actually meant it. I don't understand this. How can a person just fall out of love like that.

[Goatsbreath]

ahhh, .............sex in the motel six the good old days

[moimeme]

People don't 'just fall out of love'. It happens gradually, but they don't say anything until they are sure the love is kaput.

[Goatsbreath]

Umm,...hello. Its happening all over the world I think. Im pretty sure its a epidemic. Have you seen any of the post around here. People fall out of love all the time. You might still care about the person in a loving way but the romance is stale.

[sunnie23]

one of my friends told her bf she loved him but wasn't in love with him. it was a cop out, she just wanted to say "i love you", but got freaked and added the last part.

[amerikajin]

When someone "falls out of love", it's just a matter of the passion not being there anymore. At some point he reached a point when he decided that he simply couldn't get any more satisfaction - sexual or otherwise - from his partner. And moimeme's right, it happens gradually, and if you don't pay attention to the signs, the ugly truth only comes out much later.

 

Over time, a person's behavior changes quite a bit as their interest declines. It's little things usually...one less phone call here, cancelled date there, sexual activity drops, and so on. If the partner can catch the warning signs right away and confront the partner, there's a chance they can salvage the relationship, but once you're out, you're out. The boyfriend was probably hoping all along that she'd just pick up the hints and break up with him so as to spare himself the dirty job of having to actually tell her that he doesn't want her anymore (women and men operate the same way in this regard).

[Arabess]

I totally agree with Amer. People give lots of signs to show they are on the way out of a relationship. Some may even be subconscious. No one just "suddenly" falls out of love. It's a process....they can't even stop. If you can't stop yourself from loving someone.....how can you stop yourself from falling OUT of love with someone? Hearts are independent little thinkers....they don't give rats A$$ what the brain is telling them. HAHA!

 

I believe someone can "love" someone like they do a family member or friend.....but not in "in love" with them as a lover or someone they wish to commit to. Sometimes....one kind turns into the other kind.