my boyfriend is mad that i'm having fun

[DinoFace]

so the passt two days i was hanging out with one of my closest friends that i haven't seen in two years, because it was her sweet 16 birthday party. so i hung out with her, and spent two days straight with her, and me and my boyfriend talked a few times on the phone.

all the times we talked he sounded upset or angry or something, and i couldn't get him to say what was wrong

finally after i got home, it was like 10 pm, and i finally got out of him why he had been acting funny..

i was crying and crying and saying that he wasn't acting like himself and i hated that i didn't know what was wrong

his exact words were: "well i'm being a jerk because you're there telling me how much fun you're having and all the fun things you're doing and i'm sitting here bored and isolated"

and i told him, he does stuff all the time, and he takes trips with band that last like a week and when he tells me the fun stuff i am happy for him because i'm glad he's having fun, and i show that

and he got more mad.. now he's being even more of a jerk and i asked him to call me when he was available because he's doing some stuff today but he doesn't want to.

i don't know what to do, it really hurt my feelings... but i think that's a problem, my boyfriends hating me because i'm having fun..

what should i do??

[norajane]

Good for you for being strong enough and smart enough to stand up to him for being a jerk and pointing out what a hypocrite he is.

 

You're doing exactly the right thing - don't let him make you feel guilty. He is the one who is wrong, and by "punishing" you by not calling, he's continuing to act like a jerk.

 

At this point, I'd leave him alone - no calls, no texts, no nothing until he apologizes for being a whiny, hypocritical, selfish ass. He's cannot be your boyfriend unless he learns the meaning of being a FRIEND. And he's not treating you like your feelings and opinions matter like a friend would - he's being self-centered and believes only what he wants and how he feels matters.

[thegoodlife]

I agree with the above, leave him alone until he grows up. And when/if he does, you need to have a serious talk with him. I've seen sooo many relationships like this, and have been in a few myself in my younger days.

 

It's important, normal, healthy, and necessary to have an outside life separate from your relationship. You should be able to call your boyfriend, tell him about your day including how much fun you had and he should be happy to hear it. No one said he needed to be "isolated and alone" while you are out, that's his choice and this whole thing is his problem. Don't let him make it your problem cause you've done nothing wrong.

[sally4sara]

Be careful dear......

 

This sounds like the first steps toward a controlling relationship.

 

I'm not saying he can't just be a young dude who still immaturely cares more about his feelings over the feelings of others, but it is a bad sign. Two days of you time is unacceptable to him even thought he gets his friend time in for longer stretches? You point this out and he gets more upset? You cry and he still pulls this power play; punishing you with the cold shoulder treatment for having a life of your own?

 

Sounds like a little abuser testing the waters of how much you will let him run your life. Don't try to patch things up with him (you didn't do anything wrong) or he will think he taught you a lesson and take over more of your life.

[DinoFace]

thanks everyone, it helped a lot. c:

[JustLooking123]

He sounds like a jerk. Most guys would love (or at least like ) that you're out with your friends having a good time on your own. You're not responsible for entertaining him every second; sitting at home bored is his problem, not yours.

 

Just explain to him (calmly of course) that you're entited to your own life, as he is to his. He shouldn't hold it against you when you go out with your friends.

 

If this keeps up, I strongly recommend that you walk away.