truebluefna Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I posted on the breaking up forum about my fiance leaving me because he said we needed a "break" from each other. He has been gone for almost 2 weeks and we have been talking on the phone alot. He calls me and I call him but nine out of ten of these phone convos turn into arguements about things that have happened in the past. We both say we want this to work, we both love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives in a "normal" (not fighting everyday) relationship just wanna be happy!! We talk about how we are goin to have to start fresh. I agree to the fullest that we need to leave the past in the past in order to move on with our lives together but...... this is my problem - just when i feel good and confident that things are gonna work out, he says stuff like, this is it , if you continue to act the way you did,then were through. He says he loves me and doesnt want to lose me, but this will be our last chance period. Okay I recognize my faults, (jealousy,temper) and I know what I need to do, but at the same time, I guess he just makes me feel like i feel angry for nothing, there are reasons for my jealousy and anger!! He drinks everyday, not a falling down drunk, but after 8 beers ,(yes I count) he changes, he isnt mean or anything, he will take things i say wrong and get mad and wont talk to me even sometimes throughout the next day!?? When hes in a "good drinkin mood" he is funny and loving, but even tho he is like this im thinking I could be anyone sitting next to him having a good time because hes drinking and it hurts me that there have been alot of times that he doesnt remember alot of good times weve had because hes had to many to drink. that really sucks on my part I guess the bottom line is im not sure yet - i feel like I will be under the gun so to speak when he comes back and im just so confused. I have told him how i feel but whenever i bring up something hes done that bothers me - he retaliates with something ive done or said. This is driving me crazy - he wants to come home this weekend and i truly love this man but i have this uneasy feeling about it, i dont know maybe i cant let go of the past- maybe its me?? Please some good advice would be greatly appreciated here cuz im so torn on what to do.
Peanut9330 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 If you both truly love each other and want to move on you have to let go of the past, but if your still arguing about the past than its going to be difficult to move on and your just headed for more heartbreak. I think you both need time and space from each other to reflect on the relationship, see if you both can let go of the past and work on a future together again.
Devil Inside Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I think that you need to trust your gut on this one...it is too soon. Why would things be different now? What has changed? Seems like you two are still arguing about the same issues? If you two really want it to work, take positive steps to build the relationship before just jumping back into the broken one. Set some boundaries with each other. Go to some couples counseling. Good luck.
Author truebluefna Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 I think you are right. Even tho we both miss each other like crazy, we need more time, at least I know I do. It's a little different for him, I have kids and responsibilitys and not that much time to really sit and think, where he is able to be by himself and get out with friends and have some peace and quiet to sort out his thoughts. Thank you for your thoughts on this It helps alot just to know other people are in this or have been in this situation, and can give some much needed advice and/or reassurance.
Recommended Posts