tuscansun Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Okay so this is not a big deal AT ALL, it's simply curiousity...so, "hypothetically" speaking, say a girl met a guy about a year ago, they talked for about a month, then he got flaky so she stopped talking to him altogether. Then, out of nowhere, recently she texted him after stumbling across his number just to ask whose number it was, and since then he's been texting and calling and facebooking etc...like a maniac. Now, before we get all romantic, lets "hypothetically" say (lol), that his flirting hasn't lacked a lot of sexual flirting, and the girl can't help but wander if perhaps this is simply about sex since when they talked before they never had it because she's Christian and has a hard time with that...IF this hypothetical dude were to get what he wanted would he mysteriously become flaky again, or is it possible he's interested in her? Lucky for me---er, her, he's been out of town with his family for the past couple weeks doing an east coast road trip type of deal so she hasn't had to make any quick decisions about it, she can either answer the phone or not, respond to a text or not, BUT he'll be home tomorrow, so she's trying to decide if it's worth the headache....He's a VeRY cute charming guy and she can see why he's flaky...a good guess would be he's attractive, sexy, has his life together, is very close to his family so he doesn't feel like he just neeeeeeeds a chick, kind of dangerous if you're a woman because he's easy to fall for---I---er she, totally fell for him last year and was a little disappointed when he got flaky, but SHE was also coming out of a horrendous break up and was ultra teary and sensitive anyway-----thinking now might be a better time to rekindle a friendship just for the heck of it, have a little fun? NOw that desparation isn't in the equation anymore...is it worth it? Or will attachment sneak and in and feelings get hurt?
Vet Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Let's dispense with the subterfuge, shall we? You have a problem with sex. He doesn't and wants to have sex with you. I assume he was as sexually aggressive a year ago as he is now, right? Maybe he's not only interested in having sex with you, but that's definitely the starting point of his interests. Maybe you shouldn't get involved with someone that will either manipulate you into doing things you aren't comfortable with and/or be frustrated by your hangups. It doesn't sound like much good can come of this; it seems like you're both in different places relationship-wise.
Author tuscansun Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 lol, okay OBVIOUSLY I'm talking about myself...bit of a joke, maybe not so funny, anyway thank you for the advice. I don't feel manipulated and to be honest with you no he wasn't this sexually charged a year ago, hence my confusion. I spent the night at his place once and nothing happened but some rolling around and making out a bit. There was no pressure at all, there still isn't what I would consider pressure...I'm just very aware he wouldn't mind hitting the sheets a bit more seriously than last time. I don't think i'd date him seriously, in fact I definitely wouldn't but I wouldn't mind hanging out. Just wondering if its stupid for me to hang out and if he's interested in being friends, or if he's just hoping I'll put out and if I don't just blow me off..
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 lol, okay OBVIOUSLY I'm talking about myself...bit of a joke, maybe not so funny, anyway thank you for the advice. I don't feel manipulated and to be honest with you no he wasn't this sexually charged a year ago, hence my confusion. I spent the night at his place with and nothing happened but some rolling around and making out a bit. There was no pressure at all, there still isn't what I would consider pressure...I'm just very aware he wouldn't mind it. I don't think i'd date him seriously, in fact I definitely wouldn't but I wouldn't mind hanging out. Just wondering if its stupid for me to hang out... You'd be sending mixed signals; he's flirting with you sexually, you don't discourage it, but also want to "hang out" with him. He's going to be very confused when you put the brakes on.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I'm not going to respond until you amend all that hypothetical stuff. Why not just say this happened to your "friend"?
BCCA Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 lol, okay OBVIOUSLY I'm talking about myself...bit of a joke, maybe not so funny, anyway thank you for the advice. I don't feel manipulated and to be honest with you no he wasn't this sexually charged a year ago, hence my confusion. I spent the night at his place once and nothing happened but some rolling around and making out a bit. There was no pressure at all, there still isn't what I would consider pressure...I'm just very aware he wouldn't mind hitting the sheets a bit more seriously than last time. I don't think i'd date him seriously, in fact I definitely wouldn't but I wouldn't mind hanging out. Just wondering if its stupid for me to hang out and if he's interested in being friends, or if he's just hoping I'll put out and if I don't just blow me off.. I know women dont quite grasp this, but guys dont just want to be your friend. Unless they find you wolf ugly, in which case you probably dont have cute friends, or theyve just known you forever, which usually means youre one of their buddies ex, they want to get in your pants or date you seriously. He ABSOLUTELY is going to try and have sex with you, and then bail if youre not down. And he might check in from time to time, but always for the same reason. He has litterally said nothing about wanting to be a platonic friend, hes making sexual comments. Why do you think he wants to be just a friend, except for the fact that it would be best case scenario for you?
MadDriver Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Let's dispense with the subterfuge, shall we? Some men are so cold. She's just adding a little drama to her story to entertain the reader -- that way she gets more responses. She's being cute, and you're punishing her for it. You want her to be straight-forward and to the point, right? You want her to address you like a man, is that it? Does Hillary Clinton turn you on?
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Some men are so cold. She's just adding a little drama to her story to entertain the reader -- that way she gets more responses. She's being cute, and you're punishing her for it. You want her to be straight-forward and to the point, right? You want her to address you like a man, is that it? Does Hillary Clinton turn you on? I'm addressing her like a human being; that fact that she happens to be female has no relevance. I'm addressing you like an idiot. There's a difference.
Author tuscansun Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 You all are cracking me up...seriously can we get over the "hypothetical"....like I said, obviously I was just messing around...so moving on. I agree he'd be thrown off if we didnt have sex however I have to disagree with the fact that he's never said anything about being friends. We met as friends, and before all the inuendo started, when we reconnected it was as friends, it wasn't hey, come to my place so we can hit it...It progressively got there. But anyway.... I think I may leave it alone, if he invites me to a group thing like a party or something then maybe Ill go...But man is he cute..
Recommended Posts