Pink Cupcakes Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I would be enthusiastic during the date and thank him at the end of the date. No text necessary, texting is the same as calling, IMO. If he's interested, he'll definitely call and probably set up a date before the end of the actual date.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Sorry, what I meant is that I, as the guy, would send the text which I wrote above.
BCCA Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Guys, if you went on a date with a girl and she seemed somewhat interested but you weren't sure, would you ask her out again? I don't know but I think this is what most women expect... not to be chased, just a clear go-ahead. Absolutely. I might do what Kizik said, feel it out with a text, or try and gauge her reaction, but if I felt like it was a 'go' from her end, I would definitely ask her out. And were always unsure, because women tend to act almost the same way on a first date, whether they are interested or not
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 And were always unsure, because women tend to act almost the same way on a first date, whether they are interested or not So true. You girls need to learn to "Just Say No" if you don't like us. Women don't like being lead on, either, so be frank from the beginning
Thaddeus Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Isolde, I'd test the waters with a text. "Hey, had a great time with you, movie Friday?" etc.Well, I wouldn't text. I find it too impersonal. Phone is better. In person is best. And I'd phrase it slightly differently, something like, "I'm going to see such-and-such movie on Friday. I'd like you to come." The difference is subtle, but distinct.
Isolde Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 So if the girl responded saying she had fun, would you then ask her out for a second date? See what happens is a lot of girls don't like even suggesting dates first.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 @ Thaddeus: the reason I would text, in that instance only, is because Isolde was asking about "what if you weren't sure she liked you." Otherwise, I agree with you. A call is always better. And I like your distinction between inviting someone to accompany you in your plans, as opposed to relying on them.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 So if the girl responded saying she had fun, would you then ask her out for a second date? Any guy with some testicles in his sack would, yes. And those who don't, you shouldn't bother with.
BCCA Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 So if the girl responded saying she had fun, would you then ask her out for a second date? See what happens is a lot of girls don't like even suggesting dates first. If a girl had a smile on her face when we were leaving at the end of the 1st date, Id say something along the lines of 'this was fun, we should do it again'. If she agrees, I might see what her schedule is like, and try and set another date right there. If she hesitates, or is 'busy', I might call in a few days, but probably not. I would always try and set another date at the end of the first one, or the next day. But Im not going to force anyone into anything, if she starts squirming at any time, or mentions stuff to do without an alternative for hanging out, bye. I think the women Ive been meeting lately are used to turning down guys at least once before going out with them, and thats not me.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I like what BCCA's saying. Don't expect guys to chase you b/c the self-respecting ones won't. They just don't care. A noticeable lack of interest isn't fun for anyone. The kind of guy you want will not really need you and he probably won't want to chase you. But he'll be receptive to the vibes you're throwing out there, and he'll ask you out again.
Author green apples Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I'm sorry if I hadn't made my thread clearer. I meant to ask about people's real-life experiences, where HJNTIY theory failed to hold water. Not so much a discussion of the book though I appreciate the replies. But is it that there aren't real-life experiences to denounce the theory that there aren't such replies? C'mon, tell your story if you have a good one we can put the book to rest.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Sorry, what I meant is that I, as the guy, would send the text which I wrote above. OH Ok, sorry, I thought you were a girl. OK!
Isolde Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I agree with most of what you fellows are saying, except just remember girls get nervous towards the end of a date too and may not want to come off too enthusiastic. Doesn't mean we want to play games, just we like you
CaliGuy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I agree with most of what you fellows are saying, except just remember girls get nervous towards the end of a date too and may not want to come off too enthusiastic. Doesn't mean we want to play games, just we like you So when he says I'll call and does, answer the phone or call him back timely. Don't wait like a week or two.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 OH Ok, sorry, I thought you were a girl. I get that a lot. girls get nervous towards the end of a date too and may not want to come off too enthusiastic. Doesn't mean we want to play games, just we like you Of course you do, we're freaking awesome
BCCA Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I agree with most of what you fellows are saying, except just remember girls get nervous towards the end of a date too and may not want to come off too enthusiastic. Doesn't mean we want to play games, just we like you So here is a hypothetical for you... Say youre a guy, you like this girl, think the date went well, think shes interested...and you see about getting together again, and she says 'well Im busy with school right now' or something about a lack of free time without any mention of a time to see you, would you think she was interested? Would you bother asking again?
Isolde Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 So when he says I'll call and does, answer the phone or call him back timely. Don't wait like a week or two. Would I make you wait that long? Never! BCCA, I would make some indication I had a free slot in my schedule, down the line, if interested.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 BCCA, I would make some indication I had a free slot in my schedule, down the line, if interested. Sorry, but that is NOT interest. How about, "Sure! What time?"
CaliGuy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Would I make you wait that long? Never No not me. Maybe someone else, but not me I tell you this. If I call or leave an email, SMS, etc and they don't get back to me within 48 hours they are done. I won't be calling them again.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 The guys who were into me but didn't make a move were guys laden with mental issues.
Isolde Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Sorry, but that is NOT interest. How about, "Sure! What time?" K, I was responding to BCCA's question about how I would respond if I were busy. If I weren't busy, say, the upcoming week, I'd schedule a date then and there. If I were busy, I would suggest the earliest possible time, if interested. Re. time frame for responding to a call/email/text, a couple of days is reasonable to wait for a response "yes let's hang out". Of course there are times when someone may be genuinely too busy to respond within that timeframe, but I can't think of a lot of scenarios that would be true.
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