matt87 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Right In the past I have had freinds use me for my money and advice.. and they only wanna talk when they want to.. why is this? Also why is it that so called freinds, never ring, when you text or ring them.. why is it that they only want to speak to me when they want to?
Lyssa Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Cause you let them walk all over you when it comes to money. Have you tried saying no?
Author matt87 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 Cause you let them walk all over you when it comes to money. Have you tried saying no? Yeah I have said no, and people still dont take the hint
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 So they keep at you for money and you give in and give it? See Lyssa's first comment. "You teach people how to treat you". If you come over as a soft touch and a patsy - people will treat you like one. Next time they borrow money from you, write the date and amount in a book, the date by which you want to be paid back, and get them to sign it. THEN hand over the money. Only after the signature. If they say it's stupid, or they won't sign - you get to keep your money! hey presto!
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I wouldn't even go as far as Tara. If someone only comes to me when they want money, I'd offer to drive them to the bank. But that's as far as I'd go. If a real friend needs money, that's a different matter, but someone who only comes to you when they need something isn't a friend as far as I'm concerned. As to them not taking the hint, it's simple. As long as you don't say yes, they can't legally get your money. You tell them no, they bicker, you tell them no again, they bicker again, you walk away/close the door/hang up the phone/whatever. It's the three strike rule. Matt, one day you'll see what a real friend is like. The people you're calling "so-called friends" aren't friends at all - they're acquaintances. Call them at zero-dark-thirty, asking for an emergency ride somewhere. My guess is that, if they answer the phone at all, they will grumble about how it can wait until morning and they'll go back to bed. A friend will grumble about it as well, but he'll be putting his jeans on and looking for his car keys while he's doing it. (And yes, I've had this happen to me, a few times now.) Acquaintances look at you and ask, "what else can you do for me?" Friends ask, "what else can I do for you?"
Author matt87 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 I wouldn't even go as far as Tara. If someone only comes to me when they want money, I'd offer to drive them to the bank. But that's as far as I'd go. If a real friend needs money, that's a different matter, but someone who only comes to you when they need something isn't a friend as far as I'm concerned. As to them not taking the hint, it's simple. As long as you don't say yes, they can't legally get your money. You tell them no, they bicker, you tell them no again, they bicker again, you walk away/close the door/hang up the phone/whatever. It's the three strike rule. Matt, one day you'll see what a real friend is like. The people you're calling "so-called friends" aren't friends at all - they're acquaintances. Call them at zero-dark-thirty, asking for an emergency ride somewhere. My guess is that, if they answer the phone at all, they will grumble about how it can wait until morning and they'll go back to bed. A friend will grumble about it as well, but he'll be putting his jeans on and looking for his car keys while he's doing it. (And yes, I've had this happen to me, a few times now.) Acquaintances look at you and ask, "what else can you do for me?" Friends ask, "what else can I do for you?" Your right.. maybe I should just let them, go, and try and meet new people.. people who could be real freinds..
borbiusle Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 You have ****ty friends lol. My rule is this, if I can lend someone money and be 100% comfortable in them never paying me back, then I'll do it, which is close to never haha.
thegreatmoose Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Your right.. maybe I should just let them, go, and try and meet new people.. people who could be real freinds.. I agree. They don't care for you at all.
Author matt87 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 You have ****ty friends lol. My rule is this, if I can lend someone money and be 100% comfortable in them never paying me back, then I'll do it, which is close to never haha. Ya right.. I suppose it just something I learn from..
Author matt87 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 I agree. They don't care for you at all. yup.. so my trust in people has gone down..
Calendula Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I agree with Johnny. The people you describe are acquaintances and not friends. Unfortunately, most people that society dictates you should call 'friends' fall into this category, and true friends can be hard to come by. As far as trusting people in general goes, I try to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I try to think the best of people until they give me reason to think otherwise. Borrowing money one time and not returning it may be excusable or forgetable (depending on the situation), but more than once and you are better off counting your losses and moving on. As far as calls, texts, etc., try and send your energy into relationships that are reciprocal and not just all give, give, give on your part and take, take, take on theirs. You can only give so much (money, time, effort, help) before you will have nothing left for yourself. True friends would never ask this of you.
Author matt87 Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I agree with Johnny. The people you describe are acquaintances and not friends. Unfortunately, most people that society dictates you should call 'friends' fall into this category, and true friends can be hard to come by. As far as trusting people in general goes, I try to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I try to think the best of people until they give me reason to think otherwise. Borrowing money one time and not returning it may be excusable or forgetable (depending on the situation), but more than once and you are better off counting your losses and moving on. As far as calls, texts, etc., try and send your energy into relationships that are reciprocal and not just all give, give, give on your part and take, take, take on theirs. You can only give so much (money, time, effort, help) before you will have nothing left for yourself. True friends would never ask this of you. What you have said is very true.. I also think that alot of freinds are more like aquiantenances, like you have said. I think im better off to stick with the one or two freinds that am more closer with, as that way they are more like a freind, than an aquuatences. saying that though, alot of people that were in my college class.. i hardly ever talk to outside, because they never seem interested.. even though I have had to make the effort everytime.. but they dont
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