confusion about an older guy

[Anarya]

there is a guy at my work whom I have been getting to know more as we've worked together. and I've even seen him a couple times out side of work. we have tons in common, he's really fun to be around and understands a lot of things about me that most people dont, and I think I have a crush on him

the problem is, I'm 19 and he's about 35.

he's completely single and seems to like me, but I know this is so wrong, what should i do?

[Thornton]

The situation is probably very different from his perspective than it is from yours. When I was 19 I was madly in love with a much older guy, and from my youthful perspective the age gap seemed fine to me. Now I'm older, there's no way I'd date someone who was 19 - from a more mature perspective, someone who is 19 is still a child. Make sure you're not misinterpreting his behaviour and that he is actually interested in you.

 

Ultimately it's up to you two - if you like each other and you're both happy with the age gap then go for it. But tbh I'd question the maturity of a 35yo man who was interested in dating a teenager, and if you were my daughter I wouldn't be happy with you dating a middle aged man who's old enough to be your father.

[Citizen Erased]

There is actually a smiliar situation at my work, a girl I work with is infatuated with someone in another department. They are quite flirty but it's really unprofessional and I don't think it is the best look to the bosses.

 

My advice was to her and I will say the same to you, don't date at work. Especially not if you can potentially harm your or his career by getting involved in the workplace. It reflects really badly on him that he would consider dating a teenager. And makes you look like an immature kid.

 

A 19 year old and 35 year old would have a snow flake's chance in hell of surviving. Unless you have no problem with risking your job/sanity, I'd advise you to distance yourself from him and find someone your own age.