letinmotion Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I made a post about a girl I was seeing for a few weeks a few days ago and received some good responses. Things with her seem to still be going pretty well. I have no problems 'getting with girls' but it when it comes to transitioning towards a relationship--I don't know exactly where to begin. Everything I do is pretty natural and I am neither needy or desperate. I know enough by now that a relationship is set by a woman's needs and not a man's. Sorry dudes, its true. How long do you date before you make it official, etc? This still seems to confuse me and I know there probably isnt a very cut-and-dry answer, but can anyone share some insight? We've been seeing each other for almost a month and I can say that I really have developed feelings for this girl and we have discussed the relationship a little bit. I just don't know if its moving at the right pace (we see each other 3-5 times a week if not more) and do I actually need to ask her to see me exclusively? I'm always worried that I will seem like Im chasing, being needy or clingy. Thus, I often wait for her to contact me rather than contact her. I would appreciate any advice or feedback! Thanks!!
torranceshipman Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 The guy who I am dating bought up this conversation on date 6. Just be really straight up and honest about what you want, and if she likes you too, she'll be stoked. If she doesn't like you so much, she might think you're clingy. One of the loveliest thing about the guy I'm dating right now is that he was very clear from the get go that he was really interested in me, which is so refreshing, and because I'm in to him too, I reciprocate his feelings. Sure, if I wasn't so interested I'd think he was a bit needy or something, but in that case, it's always good to find that out sooner than later. So next time you see her, say you want to be a couple and be exclusive and that you really like her and see what happens...
girl68 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Straight up. She's likely had the "what are we?" thoughts running through her head for quite some time, but as most men prefer- we keep these thoughts to ourselves. So yes, you have to ask, mention something about gf/bf or exclusive. And a month is long enough to have waited especially since it's clear you like her and she too.
Author letinmotion Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 We had the "what are we" talk last Wednesday... I expressed interest in exclusively seeing her and she expressed concern in pehaps jumping into it too quickly and asked me if I minded if we waited. Still doesn't quite make sense to me but I rolled with it. Thus we are apparently "taking it slow" although we've done an awful lot with each other already. So you can probably understand that I'm kind of confused as to what I should do now. Bring it up or wait for her to strongly hint at it again?
Author letinmotion Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 Also. She's kind of backed off a little. Not TOO overly chatty while we are apart (thought we both have been pretty busy so maybe thats it). I feel like things have been somewhat different since our talk wednesday and I want to make sure I dont blow it.
monkey00 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I know enough by now that a relationship is set by a woman's needs and not a man's. Sorry dudes, its true. That's absolutely true. Whether I initiated or the girl initiated it's usually the girl that has the upper hand. How long do you date before you make it official, etc? This still seems to confuse me and I know there probably isnt a very cut-and-dry answer, but can anyone share some insight? It varies from person to person. Sometimes it took a few dates, other times a few months. Usually if the girl really likes you, she'll bring up the 'what are we talk' or initiate the talk at the very least. We've been seeing each other for almost a month and I can say that I really have developed feelings for this girl and we have discussed the relationship a little bit. I just don't know if its moving at the right pace (we see each other 3-5 times a week if not more) and do I actually need to ask her to see me exclusively? 3-5 times a week seems like a definite good pace for building up to a R. There are times where exclusivity is known/assumed by both parties. And other times it's made clear with the talk. I think in most cases to avoid misunderstanding - it's usually best to label what you guys are. We had the "what are we" talk last Wednesday... I expressed interest in exclusively seeing her and she expressed concern in pehaps jumping into it too quickly and asked me if I minded if we waited. Still doesn't quite make sense to me but I rolled with it. Thus we are apparently "taking it slow" although we've done an awful lot with each other already. So you can probably understand that I'm kind of confused as to what I should do now. Bring it up or wait for her to strongly hint at it again? The word is out. I think you guys should just enjoy dating in the meantime and have fun. She just might be trying to feel this one out and see what her options are/what other options are out there. Pressuring/nagging a girl is not good, I say if it isn't brought up again within a month's time you should bring it up.
Recommended Posts