Left in a Lurch Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 "UPDATE: I canceled the date. My attitude is too far in the hole at this point and it didn't seem fair for him to be on a date with someone who has already written him off. " You rock. You did the right thing. And Butcher's Hook, I appreciate your insight. I liked you more and more every post.
BobSacamento Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I honestly don't think canceling the date was a wise choice. It's way too early to tell how things are going. The whole calling not calling stuff I always thought was for setting dates. If he's setting dates what is the big deal? Face to face interaction is what you want especially this early on. It's way to early to start making demands.
Author sunshinegirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 I honestly don't think canceling the date was a wise choice. It's way too early to tell how things are going. The whole calling not calling stuff I always thought was for setting dates. If he's setting dates what is the big deal? Face to face interaction is what you want especially this early on. It's way to early to start making demands. Simply put, I disagree. I've already described the various ways he has been flaky and forgetful. The fascinating post-script to all of this is that when I canceled the date, we had a very forthright conversation about why I was canceling. He went on to apologize profusely and ask for a second chance, saying he really wanted to see me again.
Trialbyfire Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 The fascinating post-script to all of this is that when I canceled the date, we had a very forthright conversation about why I was canceling. He went on to apologize profusely and ask for a second chance, saying he really wanted to see me again. Why does this come as no surprise?
butcher's hook Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 The fascinating post-script to all of this is that when I canceled the date, we had a very forthright conversation about why I was canceling. He went on to apologize profusely and ask for a second chance, saying he really wanted to see me again. Wow he actually picked up the phone to talk to you? Incredible! Or did this all happen via text? And Butcher's Hook, I appreciate your insight. I liked you more and more every post.
BobSacamento Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Simply put, I disagree. I've already described the various ways he has been flaky and forgetful. The fascinating post-script to all of this is that when I canceled the date, we had a very forthright conversation about why I was canceling. He went on to apologize profusely and ask for a second chance, saying he really wanted to see me again. Flaky and forgetful? He showed up to date 1 on time, in fact he was early. You didn't even give him a chance this time.
butcher's hook Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Flaky and forgetful? He showed up to date 1 on time, in fact he was early. . Yeah she should get him a bone for actually showing up to the date. Waste of time flake.
Author sunshinegirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 Flaky and forgetful? He showed up to date 1 on time, in fact he was early. You didn't even give him a chance this time. Good grief. --He forgot I was going to Geneva for a week despite repeated, lengthy exchanges about it days before I left. We even emailed the day I left, and he wished me a good trip. He then emailed me two days *after* I left asking if I was free that week to get together. --I wrote back, reminding him I was away, and suggested two days the following week when I could go out. I didn't hear from him for a week. I had to email him again a week later, and the day before the 2-day window I had suggested for going out. --He thought our first date was at 7pm, and showed up at 7:20. Yes, he was absolutely on time given what time *I* thought what time we were meeting, and on its own it wouldn't have meant anything; given everything else, though, it is not insignificant that he was 20 minutes late by his own understanding of when we were going to meet. --I specifically gave him my non-match email address, telling him that my subscription was ending and that's how he could reach me email-wise thereafter. At the end of our first date, when I reminded him that I had sent him my email address, he had no idea what I was talking about. "Really? You sent me your email?" --We were supposed to have date #2 a week ago Sunday; I was clear in saying I had free time Sunday and it would be good to see him, and I then understood the ball to be in his court to call me to set up details. He didn't contact me until 4pm the day-of to explain that he hadn't been feeling well and couldn't get together. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he WAS in the ER etc, I was left hanging for days as to what/when/where. While I wanted to make time to see him, I had other options that day and was in an awkward position of choosing between seeing friends and waiting around hoping he would call. He had apparently not been feeling well for several days; could he not have simply texted me a day or two earlier to postpone? --When we finally spoke by phone on Wednesday, again, we had the exchange where he said he would call. If he didn't like talking by phone, THAT WAS THE TIME TO SAY SO. And then he didn't call. --Which leads to the weekend text messages, and today's TXT getting the time wrong for our date. If you would like to continue defending this pattern of behavior, BobSacramento, have at it. Best of luck with the kind of women that thrive on this kind of treatment and (in)attention. I'm not one of those women.
BobSacamento Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 You know what forget it. The guy is better off.
Trialbyfire Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 You know what forget it. The guy is better off. Bob, do you know what works with a woman like ssg? If a guy is direct with her and showing real interest, in that it makes her feel like a priority, rather than some guy who shows a half-arsed effort and can't remember a thing. I'm like that too, albeit far more direct than ssg. If a guy can't prioritize me, I'm out, unless I'm just jacking around. Even then, if the guy can't remember details of the date, he's welcome to find someone who's far less demanding of this precious time. Edit - having said that, I think ssg also needs to learn to be more direct. He wanted a second chance because she finally expressed her needs in a way that he could understand.
Recommended Posts