I just dont get it

[bentnotbroken]

Too bad, all, that my refusing to be a victim or an offender, my refusing to let the EMR damage me more than is inevitable, is a thorn in your side. If you looked at it closely you would see that both MM and I are trapped by the situation, a situation none of us ever thought we would be caught in.

 

 

 

Just to make it clear, I am fing MM because I enjoy it - and I enjoy it immensely. I enjoy fing the man I love who loves me. That is what sex is about. Marriage is an institution man created. Sex is a natural force.

 

 

Either you are a liar distorting reality or you just don't get it, and on top of that you are supposed to be a Christian?!!!:lmao: Do you not know how it is to love someone and not be able to step out of that relationship even if it is not all good for you? What about all the abused women? Is this what you say to them to? Do you laugh in their faces as well? Have you not heard of the Christian concept "compassion"?

 

 

 

My dear the liar would be you and the MM jerk. You are not only lying to his wife but lying to yourselves, trapped by what deceit? Maybe selfishness? Oh wait a minute could it be you are trapped by your compassion for his wife. If you understood Christian values and principles you wouldn't still enjoy, how did you put it, ahhh yes, "f"ing him. So for you to try to explain compassion to anyone, you probably should start by experiencing some toward his wife. You are far from abused, but you do demonstrate emotional abuse toward another...his wife(and family).

 

You can bash me being a Christian to the cows jump over the moon and it won't change your actions or your attitude about those actions one bit. :)

[SidLyon]

Too bad, all, that my refusing to be a victim or an offender, my refusing to let the EMR damage me more than is inevitable, is a thorn in your side. If you looked at it closely you would see that both MM and I are trapped by the situation, a situation none of us ever thought we would be caught in.

 

Remember Jennie this is the Infidelity Board - my own view is that it is OK for anyone to post on any board however you cannot expect the same level of validation here that you might get on the OW/OM Board. Just as BS do not get an easy time there, unapologetic OW do not get an easy time here. As has been pointed out often enough so many OW want to believe that MM has/will discard them after d-day only because of obligation rather than sincere love for their wives. Whereas BWs whose Hs have chosen them will want to believe that it is because of a far deeper love for the wife than for the OW. That is certainly my perspective.

 

Having said that it really does look to me that you are in just the same sort of precarious position as any other OW. Perhaps you worry what will happen if/when there is a d-day. You seem aware of which boat your MM will favour but I guess you are unsure whether he will really come back to you after that boat is saved. It seems to me that your MM will either be galvanized into choosing you which is of course what you want or alternatively will chose his W. If he does that you can be fairly sure he will not come back for you later unless he is a total sociopath and it sounds like you don't believe he is.

 

Whether you like it or not you are an offender in most people's eyes and you are probably a victim too and like many victims can't recognise it. This is often the case for someone who has been groomed (you used the word "trained" in an earlier post) to accept an appalling or abusive situation. Yes it is an abusive and manipulative triangular relationship that you are in - and most of the abuse especially the manipulation is being done by your MM. He is denying his W information basically to get her to make the decision he wants her to make (not leave him) rather than what you yourself acknowledge is the best thing for her.

 

 

I just can't leave. Maybe I will be able to in the future, I don't know, but as it stands now it is not in my power. We have talked about him working on his marriage and us going NC. He suggested 3 months, I suggested 6 months. But the reality is that we have trouble going 3 days, so none of us knows how we will make this happen.

 

 

 

You are twisting my words. I never said I did it for the wife. Of course I do it for myself. But ultimately it is in her best interest as well that he makes a decision, I can see that although that is not my motivation.

 

I read your words as you saying you were doing the best thing for her.

 

Just to make it clear, I am fing MM because I enjoy it - and I enjoy it immensely. I enjoy fing the man I love who loves me. That is what sex is about. Marriage is an institution man created. Sex is a natural force.

 

Yes sex is great and that is what he is using to keep you on the hook.

 

Either you are a liar distorting reality or you just don't get it, and on top of that you are supposed to be a Christian?!!!:lmao: Do you not know how it is to love someone and not be able to step out of that relationship even if it is not all good for you? What about all the abused women? Is this what you say to them to? Do you laugh in their faces as well? Have you not heard of the Christian concept "compassion"?

 

Exactly you are in a toxic relationship that you feel you cannot end.

 

I stayed with a man who abused me for 25 years. Is it then so strange that I stay with a MM who treats me right? who has healed me from the scars of the abuse?

 

He is abusing and manipulating his W to a large extent and probably you to a lessor extent - he does not have to try so hard with you because you are already groomed/trained to accept abuse and manipulation. It is not physical but emotional abuse.

 

Duh, the OW is the OW boat. This analogy was part of a general discussion between my MM and I why MM so often throw their OW under the bus on Dday. But if we presume this analogy is valid for all EMRs, Gamine, which boat are you? The W boat whom MM makes sure does not sink before he returns to the OW boat?

 

Presuming that a MM just returns to the OW after the BW is recovered is presuming he is a sociopath. JMO.

[jennie-jennie]

By holding the perspective that MM, W and I all are trapped in the situation at hand, not victims of one another, it keeps my self esteem intact. I love a man, he loves me, unfortunately his W is going to be hurt by our love, that goes without saying. Nobody is intentionally trying to hurt her. As a matter of fact MM is doing his best not to hurt her, although I personally do not agree with his methods.

 

If I would look at my MM as a jerk, sociopath, cake-eater or whatever, that would damage my self esteem, so since that is not the reality I perceive, why would I want to do emotional damage to myself?

 

I don't need validation. I am strong enough within myself to do without that.

[whichwayisup]

Sorry, but his wife IS a victim in all of this, since there hasn't been a D-Day. She isn't aware of the betrayal. You and the MM are NOT victims, you're both the major actors in the play.

 

If he really didn't want to hurt her anymore, he would just be honest and fair - Tell her he wants a divorce. Him lying and continuing the A isn't changing anything.

 

His inaction means he's happy enough as things are. And yes, he IS a cake-eater.

[NoIDidn't]

Wow. LOL. This thread was started by NS, but has become the JJ and taylor fest.

 

Talk about a threadjack and some serious psychological projection!

 

NS, where are you?

[NOTSURE7]

Wow. LOL. This thread was started by NS, but has become the JJ and taylor fest.

 

Talk about a threadjack and some serious psychological projection!

 

NS, where are you?

 

I am here, I was away for a few days with my W, i hope thats ok with taylor,misty and jennie..

 

I read all the posts and frankly i am tired of responding to taylor as she is obviously still hung up on her om and a year later is still posting about it eventhough she claims to be over him and that her marriage is stronger now..she cant fathom that i have decided to give up thoughts of my ow and put my efforts into building a strong open loving M with my W..so really she really cant give me any good advice and its not worth going back and forth...she wants full apologies to my ow,her cat,her dog, etc etc..its ridculous,she needs to get over it already and work on her marriage rather than critisizing me for doing so..you would think she was a bs by the way she talks.

 

As far as misty, she quotes me as saying things i never say to make me look bad and then when confronted she tells me it was what she implied and not what i said, so basically its her opinion and is made up to make me look bad, so really as a scorned ow she really cant give me good advice either...my use of lol's and had all to do with cute remarks i made to jennie as i was trying to help her see what the mm will do, but misty saw a chance and jumped all over it and again twisted it into me not treating woman correctly or being a jerk, its ridiculous, the one i didnt treat correctly is my w, thats it, the affair was what it was,its over now and my ow is a big girl who i am sure is already back to her life...

 

as far as jennie goes, my intentions were good hearted, i was trying to help her because i felt that i was certainly in a postion to do so, i tried to warn her before she becomes the drowning ow boat, i tried to give her advice and ideas of what the mm is thinking but apparently she thought it was better to drag up that i gambled and pointing to things that say i treated my ow like crap and other things i said in my posts, i guess when your waiting around for the mm to lie to his wife and come see you, you have time on your hands... ...she will get hurt by this mm and all i was trying to do was help her before it happens...but she wants to boast and talk about how she has the unique mm who isisnt just having his cake and eating it too, well i tried to help and now i will say good luck, i have too much going on in my own life to try and help someone who wants to throw it all back in my face...

 

and to the rest, i appreciate the support and the very pointed observations,suggestions and support you give me,i appreciate the spirit of conversation... whether it is truly beleived or not, everything i have said is true, i have and continue everyday to make strides towards creating a loving,honest relationship with my w, for the first time in my life i am clear, i confessed to my w and took the chance because i needed to be real for the first time, then by going nc and completely clearing the ow from my mind i am giving myself and my m a truechance to be real and to be special going forward .to me there is no other way to make this happen.i only have today as i cant take back what i have done in the past, i am now making today a better place and in turn my marriage is growing stronger and happier by the day...i have been attacking this head on, i have and will continue to take full responsibility for my actions, i have taken the lead role and will continue to be accountable for the rest of my life..if you really read my posts you will see pure honesty and see that i have taken responsibility were it was warranted..

 

so everyone is welcome to there opinion and i appreciate that, but i can tell you the changes in me are real and the things i say are real, they may not match how you were or what you would expect me to be or what the experts or statistics say, but i know what i am feeling, i am not in any fog and i am showing my true love to my w and she sees it now and we continue to work together in mc and i seperately in ic to rebuild this m and fall in love all over again, and thats all that matters to me right now..

[MistyK]

As far as misty, she quotes me as saying things i never say to make me look bad and then when confronted she tells me it was what she implied and not what i said, so basically its her opinion and is made up to make me look bad, so really as a scorned ow she really cant give me good advice either...my use of lol's and had all to do with cute remarks i made to jennie as i was trying to help her see what the mm will do, but misty saw a chance and jumped all over it and again twisted it into me not treating woman correctly or being a jerk, its ridiculous, the one i didnt treat correctly is my w, thats it, the affair was what it was,its over now and my ow is a big girl who i am sure is already back to her life...

 

You're incapable of any real sympathy for anyone, JJ included. And then you stoop to insulting her (saying she has a lot of time on her hands). Real nice.

 

BNB was right, you are a taker. I don't know why I imagined that your past history of being a "taker" would magically disappear or at least be mitigated by some shred of humility now.

 

For the record, I wasn't scorned. He left his W for me and since I've dumped him, he's been pleading with me daily to come back. But whatever, the truth doesn't seem to matter much to you anyhow.

 

As far as quoting you, I had already done that for Dexter and apparently some people can't read and kept asking for quotes. I was too lazy to look it up again so I explained the nature of what I saw the tone was. Your remarks weren't cute, or even remotely amusing. It was you patting yourself on the back for being a manipulative user.

 

Obviously you treated your W poorly. You will not also acknowledge the wrongness of your manipulative tactics with your OW, and I bet that's just fine with your W. It is however, indicative of your character, as is your "get over it" sentiments. Good luck. I give up.

[NOTSURE7]

You're incapable of any real sympathy for anyone, JJ included. And then you stoop to insulting her (saying she has a lot of time on her hands). Real nice.

 

BNB was right, you are a taker. I don't know why I imagined that your past history of being a "taker" would magically disappear or at least be mitigated by some shred of humility now.

 

For the record, I wasn't scorned. He left his W for me and since I've dumped him, he's been pleading with me daily to come back. But whatever, the truth doesn't seem to matter much to you anyhow.

 

As far as quoting you, I had already done that for Dexter and apparently some people can't read and kept asking for quotes. I was too lazy to look it up again so I explained the nature of what I saw the tone was. Your remarks weren't cute, or even remotely amusing. It was you patting yourself on the back for being a manipulative user.

 

Obviously you treated your W poorly. You will not also acknowledge the wrongness of your manipulative tactics with your OW, and I bet that's just fine with your W. It is however, indicative of your character, as is your "get over it" sentiments. Good luck. I give up.

 

if your too lazy to look up what i say,then its much better not to make up your own qoute and attribute it to me by using quotation marks to make me look bad, dont ya think?

 

yes i treated my w poorly, no denying or disputing that fact..

 

But my life is not about what i did to the ow, she was a willing patricipant in this A,i owe her nothing, i know that might be tough for you and others to hear but its true, so call me manipulative,a jerk,attack my character or do whatever else you need to do to make yourself feel better but the long and the short of it is, i owe the ow nothing and i have no problem saying that...

 

as far as my "get over it" comment, i stand behind that too, if you pledge that your A is over and you go nc and pledge yourself to your marriage and to your bs and also claim that your bs is so amazing,understanding and loving etc etc and you truly want to give your marriage a true honest chance then yes you must "get over it",in my mind there is no other way your m will ever work..

[MistyK]

if your too lazy to look up what i say,then its much better not to make up your own qoute and attribute it to me by using quotation marks to make me look bad, dont ya think?

 

I already dug out your quotes once, that should be enough. Making you look bad? Darling, you did that all by yourself.

 

But my life is not about what i did to the ow, she was a willing patricipant in this A,i owe her nothing, i know that might be tough for you and others to hear but its true, so call me manipulative,a jerk,attack my character or do whatever else you need to do to make yourself feel better but the long and the short of it is, i owe the ow nothing and i have no problem saying that...

 

Yes, she was a willing participant based on your lies and manipulation. Somehow her voluntary participation absolves you? Your W voluntarily stayed with you based on your lies too (she didn't know you were screwing around behind her back). Newsflash for the sociopathic: You owed your W and the OW the same thing you owe to a clerk at the grocery store as a human being - human decency. You failed. But hey, at least you have remorse for ONE of them.

[bentnotbroken]

You're incapable of any real sympathy for anyone, JJ included. And then you stoop to insulting her (saying she has a lot of time on her hands). Real nice.

 

BNB was right, you are a taker. I don't know why I imagined that your past history of being a "taker" would magically disappear or at least be mitigated by some shred of humility now.

 

For the record, I wasn't scorned. He left his W for me and since I've dumped him, he's been pleading with me daily to come back. But whatever, the truth doesn't seem to matter much to you anyhow.

 

As far as quoting you, I had already done that for Dexter and apparently some people can't read and kept asking for quotes. I was too lazy to look it up again so I explained the nature of what I saw the tone was. Your remarks weren't cute, or even remotely amusing. It was you patting yourself on the back for being a manipulative user.

 

Obviously you treated your W poorly. You will not also acknowledge the wrongness of your manipulative tactics with your OW, and I bet that's just fine with your W. It is however, indicative of your character, as is your "get over it" sentiments. Good luck. I give up.

 

 

Yes, I believe he is a taker. I also believe he is in counseling working on that element of his personality. Will he change, I don't know. Do I pray he changes, yes. I believe at this point he is sincere in his quest to be a better husband and father. Hopefully it won't take forever and a day for him to learn empathy and apply it to his life.

[MistyK]

Yes, I believe he is a taker. I also believe he is in counseling working on that element of his personality. Will he change, I don't know. Do I pray he changes, yes. I believe at this point he is sincere in his quest to be a better husband and father. Hopefully it won't take forever and a day for him to learn empathy and apply it to his life.

 

Exactly. But it doesn't sound from what he types here that he even realizes what's missing....

[NoIDidn't]

Yes, she was a willing participant based on your lies and manipulation. Somehow her voluntary participation absolves you?

 

But wasn't his OW a MW? That changes the ballgame completely.

 

In fact, I think he said he and his MW met on a site for marrieds that were looking to cheat. I could be wrong. But let's assume that I'm not.

 

Based on my assumption that they met wanting to cheat, how can you say that he was the only one doing any manipulating?

 

I think you are projecting your situation on top of his. It happens to even the most caring posters. But its not helpful to the OP.

[MistyK]

But wasn't his OW a MW? That changes the ballgame completely.

 

To an extent, yes...but I'm only going on what he told us - that she tried to break it off and he kept reeling her back in with lies.

 

In fact, I think he said he and his MW met on a site for marrieds that were looking to cheat. I could be wrong. But let's assume that I'm not.

 

Based on my assumption that they met wanting to cheat, how can you say that he was the only one doing any manipulating?

 

If you're correct, and I don't remember seeing that, then yes, I'd tend to agree that they were both users.

 

I think you are projecting your situation on top of his. It happens to even the most caring posters. But its not helpful to the OP.

 

Perhaps. Honestly though, it's the smugness that kills me. It's not cute to throw in lol's and smileys - it made him seem real proud of himself for all he has done.

[PhoenixRise]

Notsure

 

I hope you and your wife had a great weekend. AND I hope all is well today as you have mentioned that your wife tends to get triggered by your leaving for work on Mondays

 

As I have said before, I think when it comes to your marriage, you are doing the right things. Being honest with your wife, MC, IC, NC with the OW, all necessary componets of a successful reconciliation.

 

Regarding the direction this thread took....I think ultimately that is on you. You started a thread to criticize Taylor's struggle. Taylor, like you was a WS. She had an emotional affair. AND Yes 1.5 years later, there are some residual issues for her to resolve within herself. Issues that she recognized were standing in the way of her being able to forgive herself for what she did AND also accept her H forgiveness. I think it is fantastic that she is aware enough to identify what the problem is and take steps to fix it before the situation got worse. That is what her thread is about. She is not pining for her FOM. She is wanting complete reconciliation with her H.

 

But Notsure I can not understand how you don't see the irony. Yes Taylor has talked about how wonderful her H is. But Notsure, for YEARS, you knew you had what you described as a wonderful wife and mother at home who loved you dearly. Years when this wonderful woman stood by you through your addictive behaviors. Years when you struggled with just figuring out how to be who you are without wearing any masks. YET now that you have finally done the right thing and turned a corner...you criticize someone else, a fellow FWS who is also struggleing.

 

Notsure you are in IC, and MC. How long do you think you will be thinking about, talking about and working through all the issues in your marriage and all the issues within yourself that caused you to be so destructive for so long. It could take more years.

 

It could take years for your wife to stop being triggered by certian events and memories. Are you going to be able to find some empathy for the fact that she is having residual issues with what happened?

[NOTSURE7]

Notsure

 

I hope you and your wife had a great weekend. AND I hope all is well today as you have mentioned that your wife tends to get triggered by your leaving for work on Mondays

 

As I have said before, I think when it comes to your marriage, you are doing the right things. Being honest with your wife, MC, IC, NC with the OW, all necessary componets of a successful reconciliation.

 

Regarding the direction this thread took....I think ultimately that is on you. You started a thread to criticize Taylor's struggle. Taylor, like you was a WS. She had an emotional affair. AND Yes 1.5 years later, there are some residual issues for her to resolve within herself. Issues that she recognized were standing in the way of her being able to forgive herself for what she did AND also accept her H forgiveness. I think it is fantastic that she is aware enough to identify what the problem is and take steps to fix it before the situation got worse. That is what her thread is about. She is not pining for her FOM. She is wanting complete reconciliation with her H.

 

But Notsure I can not understand how you don't see the irony. Yes Taylor has talked about how wonderful her H is. But Notsure, for YEARS, you knew you had what you described as a wonderful wife and mother at home who loved you dearly. Years when this wonderful woman stood by you through your addictive behaviors. Years when you struggled with just figuring out how to be who you are without wearing any masks. YET now that you have finally done the right thing and turned a corner...you criticize someone else, a fellow FWS who is also struggleing.

 

Notsure you are in IC, and MC. How long do you think you will be thinking about, talking about and working through all the issues in your marriage and all the issues within yourself that caused you to be so destructive for so long. It could take more years.

 

It could take years for your wife to stop being triggered by certian events and memories. Are you going to be able to find some empathy for the fact that she is having residual issues with what happened?

 

we did have a great weekend thanks and she is doing well today which is nice...we continue to do all the right things together...

 

i respect what you write here and i do see your point..

 

my only point was that i think that if you truly want your marriage to work after dday and the end of the A you have to give 100% of yourself to making the marriage true and real and if you have thoughts long after the end of the A it is counter productive.

[NOTSURE7]

I already dug out your quotes once, that should be enough. Making you look bad? Darling, you did that all by yourself.

 

 

 

Yes, she was a willing participant based on your lies and manipulation. Somehow her voluntary participation absolves you? Your W voluntarily stayed with you based on your lies too (she didn't know you were screwing around behind her back). Newsflash for the sociopathic: You owed your W and the OW the same thing you owe to a clerk at the grocery store as a human being - human decency. You failed. But hey, at least you have remorse for ONE of them.

\

 

You dug nothing up, you just made quotes up and attributed them to me..

 

so here is your first newsflash: my wife now knows my lies and that i was screwing around behind her back and she is still "voluntarily" staying with me...

 

if i was ever going to use an lol it would be here...because its actually funny to be lectured by you, a woman who stole another womans husband...

 

another newsflash for you, My ow had a profile on a married dating site and thats how we met, i manipulated nothing...when she wanted to end the A she dropped me like a hot potato and i didnt feel she owed me a thing then and i still dont..

 

so again ,i stick by the fact that i owe the ow absolutely nothing, i satisfied her needs and she satisfied mine and now its OVER and i need to concentrate on my marriage..

[ladydesigner]

NOTSURE7 I just wanted to say that I gained a real insight reading your post. I believe it is exactly how my xOM must feel about me...relieved that it is over. As much as it hurts me to come to this realization it make sense that is why he ended things with me...that is why his contact has decreased so suddenly (although I have to say it has actually helped me move on by not having anymore contact). It hurts to think that someone would tell you all these wonderful words and share wonderful moments together and just drop a person like a hot potato and never look back. I wish I had that in me. I'm the fool who still cannot forget as hard as I try.

[NoIDidn't]

NOTSURE7 I just wanted to say that I gained a real insight reading your post. I believe it is exactly how my xOM must feel about me...relieved that it is over. As much as it hurts me to come to this realization it make sense that is why he ended things with me...that is why his contact has decreased so suddenly (although I have to say it has actually helped me move on by not having anymore contact). It hurts to think that someone would tell you all these wonderful words and share wonderful moments together and just drop a person like a hot potato and never look back. I wish I had that in me. I'm the fool who still cannot forget as hard as I try.

 

You are not a fool, ladydesigner. You are just wired differently.

 

Its a good thing that you were able to use his absence to work on moving on , though

[MistyK]

\

 

You dug nothing up, you just made quotes up and attributed them to me..

 

so here is your first newsflash: my wife now knows my lies and that i was screwing around behind her back and she is still "voluntarily" staying with me...

 

if i was ever going to use an lol it would be here...because its actually funny to be lectured by you, a woman who stole another womans husband...

 

another newsflash for you, My ow had a profile on a married dating site and thats how we met, i manipulated nothing...when she wanted to end the A she dropped me like a hot potato and i didnt feel she owed me a thing then and i still dont..

 

so again ,i stick by the fact that i owe the ow absolutely nothing, i satisfied her needs and she satisfied mine and now its OVER and i need to concentrate on my marriage..

 

Ok, since you can't read, here is my post AGAIN with your smarta** tone. Please note your own gloating.

 

Interesting to see how you met OW. I have a whole lot less sympathy for her now. But also less for you. You were trolling on a site for MP? Yuck!!! Does your W know that?

 

Stole another's husband. That's funny. I must have snuck in their house in the dead of night and drugged him, huh? I just don't have that kind of power, NS.

 

 

Originally Posted by Dexter Morgan

show me where he said or where he indicated that he was proud of stringing anyone along

 

Fair enough. Maybe I'm just senstive. Check the wonderful gloating tone on these:

 

Quote:

oh i am right..lol

 

someday you will be sitting there amist your tears and you will say damn that not sure knew what he was talking about...

Quote:

to help you decide, if you looked up cake eater in the dictionary, this mm picture will be there along with all of us other mm who know just what to do and say to keep the ow on the hook...lol

[NOTSURE7]

NOTSURE7 I just wanted to say that I gained a real insight reading your post. I believe it is exactly how my xOM must feel about me...relieved that it is over. As much as it hurts me to come to this realization it make sense that is why he ended things with me...that is why his contact has decreased so suddenly (although I have to say it has actually helped me move on by not having anymore contact). It hurts to think that someone would tell you all these wonderful words and share wonderful moments together and just drop a person like a hot potato and never look back. I wish I had that in me. I'm the fool who still cannot forget as hard as I try.

 

i am sorry to hear that he did that to you but he is hopefully doing this for all the right reasons and it will work out for the best.

[NOTSURE7]

Ok, since you can't read, here is my post AGAIN with your smarta** tone. Please note your own gloating.

 

Interesting to see how you met OW. I have a whole lot less sympathy for her now. But also less for you. You were trolling on a site for MP? Yuck!!! Does your W know that?

 

Stole another's husband. That's funny. I must have snuck in their house in the dead of night and drugged him, huh? I just don't have that kind of power, NS.

 

if you stop reading the cliff notes and read the whole post you will realize that me and jenni were joking a bit back and forth and thats why i had the lol, its had nothing to do with a tone..

 

its funny you have less sympathy for me (like i need your sympathy anyway) because i didnt steal anothers spouse the right way?..i didnt realize there was a right way to be an ow/om...

 

so misty was your way of taking another womans man better than the way i took another mans wife?

 

at least mine posted a profile, i knew what she was all about,

 

unlike you,i didnt spend days slowly creeping my way into someones life and sucking them in emotionally, all the while knowing he was married and that he belonged to another but being to selfish to care..

 

and yes my w does know all about how i met her as i have been fully accountable for my actions and i am sure it wouldnt have been any better for my w if i had met the ow another way...

 

i am sure your smart enough to know i didnt mean you physically went in and stole him...but basically yes eventhough i am sure he was very willing you did steal him from his w and family in every way,you took another womans life and made it yours and if he had kids you also stole from them...its amazing that you cant see that...

[bentnotbroken]

I am curious as to why NS deserves less respect because he went on a dating site for marrieds and Misty your AP reeled you in by lying about his marriage and his wife. They are both deceptive and void of honor. What makes one worse than the other when the end result was the same?

[NOTSURE7]

I am curious as to why NS deserves less respect because he went on a dating site for marrieds and Misty your AP reeled you in by lying about his marriage and his wife. They are both deceptive and void of honor. What makes one worse than the other when the end result was the same?

 

i am interested to hear the answer to this one also...

 

apparently misty has the right and wrong way to be an ow or om...

[jennie-jennie]

so everyone is welcome to there opinion and i appreciate that, but i can tell you the changes in me are real and the things i say are real, they may not match how you were or what you would expect me to be or what the experts or statistics say, but i know what i am feeling, i am not in any fog and i am showing my true love to my w and she sees it now and we continue to work together in mc and i seperately in ic to rebuild this m and fall in love all over again, and thats all that matters to me right now..

 

Hello again, NS!

This sounds like a well thought through statement of purpose. I support you in this.

 

LOL I just checked back on NS' posts, only to find that he had a gambling addiction. My ex whom I had a 25 year long relationship with, has a gambling addiction, so I know very well what it means to live with such a man. OK, addicts lie so well they believe it themselves. That is true.

 

NS: "I knew from day 1 that I picked the wrong woman" - yikes, is this the love you want to return to, NS?

 

I figure this is the post of mine you did not appreciate. I was just a little taken aback with what I read in your old posts, being the former SO of a gambler and all. The quote about "the wrong woman" is about your W. I can't remember saying anything about you treating your OW like crap. Did I really say that?

[jennie-jennie]

if you stop reading the cliff notes and read the whole post you will realize that me and jenni were joking a bit back and forth and thats why i had the lol, its had nothing to do with a tone..

 

Misty, this is actually true. I did find NS compassionate the first day I participated in the thread, and we did joke around a bit. The second day he crossed the border though and was rude to me in a post. I can't remember exactly what now, but I know he was laughing in a non-compassionate way at me or something I said.