greenparrot Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 So as perusual, she contacts me like crazy on day 3 of NC. Didnt answer 4th day she comes up with: Im in a legal problem and owe 3 thousand dollars. Didnt answer the 5 texts with her saying: SEE I HELPED YOU IN THAT ISSUE, AND WHERE ARE YOU?, HOW WEIRD IS LIFE.. Real mean things. I hanged on, however got pissed of at her 20 calls, and last text rubbing in my face the only time she trully helped me out. Texted her: just got home, didnt have my cel, call me. She calls me and I start sayiing REALLY CALM ADVICES, telling her it will work out, relax plus stupid sweet things etcc. To make it short, she asked me again to be her friend and take it from there, I said hell no I know your going out with him (after a bunch of times of denial) she says who told you that.. She says he is only with him because she is helping him out in something. Today, I hate myself for being so nice and sweet to her when she treats me like ****, when she lies to me on going out with someone, on contacting me when I have begged her to not do so. And for breaking contact. I have finally changed my number today. But before I leave the fase of her life I want to send her an email saying that I have no idea who she is, and that I wish her welll but hope that she can fix her life for her and her friends sake. That eventhough she has cruelly stepped over me I pray for her. What are your thoughts? I just have to get it off my back, and drop her off her cloud, and let her know Im better that her.
steelfist9 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Sometimes it's better to get everything off your chest. Don't let anything go unsaid or you might regret it later.
john1988 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 So as perusual, she contacts me like crazy on day 3 of NC. Didnt answer 4th day she comes up with: Im in a legal problem and owe 3 thousand dollars. Didnt answer the 5 texts with her saying: SEE I HELPED YOU IN THAT ISSUE, AND WHERE ARE YOU?, HOW WEIRD IS LIFE.. Real mean things. I hanged on, however got pissed of at her 20 calls, and last text rubbing in my face the only time she trully helped me out. Texted her: just got home, didnt have my cel, call me. She calls me and I start sayiing REALLY CALM ADVICES, telling her it will work out, relax plus stupid sweet things etcc. To make it short, she asked me again to be her friend and take it from there, I said hell no I know your going out with him (after a bunch of times of denial) she says who told you that.. She says he is only with him because she is helping him out in something. Today, I hate myself for being so nice and sweet to her when she treats me like ****, when she lies to me on going out with someone, on contacting me when I have begged her to not do so. And for breaking contact. I have finally changed my number today. But before I leave the fase of her life I want to send her an email saying that I have no idea who she is, and that I wish her welll but hope that she can fix her life for her and her friends sake. That eventhough she has cruelly stepped over me I pray for her. What are your thoughts? I just have to get it off my back, and drop her off her cloud, and let her know Im better that her. Not worth it my friend, been there so many times before, please take my advice and walk away and leave it at that, one email has a habit of leading to several. I was terrible for saying well I'll just say this one last thing and leave it there. Cut it where it is by changing your number and not contacting at all, you will be delighted months down the line when you are finally over things and you didn't send a pointless email.
Author greenparrot Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Thanks for the feedback, but I have 2 different answers? I feel the mature thing is leaving on a good note, but it pisses me off that she thinks she hasnt done anything wrong or is a great person since I said it.
JL911 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Turn your back and walk away....Like the one above said...one email leads to many... I have been biting my tounge now for 11 days....it is getting easier...but it still f'n hurts so bad...Her silence speaks in volume in what she wants from me... The 1st 10 days I spent crying and emailing and texting and calling and oh god...its just pathetic to think of how I acted...... Be the bigger person...walk away...keep your pride and your dignity... If she thinks she did nothing wrong, she knows what she did...Shes just putting blame on you for her own self... Walk away...
john1988 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Thanks for the feedback, but I have 2 different answers? I feel the mature thing is leaving on a good note, but it pisses me off that she thinks she hasnt done anything wrong or is a great person since I said it. This will confuse you even more but I partly agree with Steelfist, I do think people don't often say how they feel and love can be lost. The thing is I don't think it applies to this situation. The chances are she already knows these things- it might be beating her up, it might not be, chances are it is but it's her way of getting through it but also you can't force someone to feel guilty believe me I've tried it just makes you end up looking like some sort of master mind game manipulator.
john1988 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Try and picture it as you are attempting to get through to a mad person- you can't it's like talking to a brick wall, at one point she will realize but it's not going to happen until you stop taking the bait. Every relationship is different obviously but this sounds alot like mine and my advise would be it's a waste of time at this moment.
PhantomSunrise Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I want to send her an email saying that I have no idea who she is, and that I wish her welll but hope that she can fix her life for her and her friends sake. That eventhough she has cruelly stepped over me I pray for her. What are your thoughts? I just have to get it off my back, and drop her off her cloud, and let her know Im better than her. Reread the bold, and see how you are contradicting yourself. You aren't ready to contact her; clearly too much emotion involved. Unless you want to make a liar out of yourself.
scienceguy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I blew up at my ex after I found out she had lied to me and cheated on me. Honestly, none of it helps, and in the long term, you'll regret you did it. I certainly did.
deux ex machina Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Don't think it's a good idea. The trouble with these things is there always seems to be "one more thing to say".
gacg2d Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 In my situation, my boyfriend left me for someone else (he denied it quite convincingly, but I did eventually find out) after we had been going out for almost five years. I didn't find out he was leaving me for this other girl until about a week after we broke up. Before that he claimed he just wasn't happy (he claimed we had so many problems, but actually, we didn't. Everything was perfectly fine until this girl came in the picture). I was trying to be understanding, and eventually ended up even telling him that its okay and he shouldn't feel bad. Then I found out about the girl. Now I have so much anger, more than I've ever had. I am so pissed at myself for being understanding and nice when he was deceiving me the whole time. I regret everything I did for him and how completely I put my trust into him for him to just toss that away. I don't know what to do with that anger. I haven't confronted him and it's been about a month and a half now. I don't know if telling him just how I feel would be the right thing or if I would live to regret it, so I've just waited, hoped it would in time become more clear. It hasn't. I am so mad, and I don't know how to handle it, so I certainly understand what you're going through. Unfortunately, I haven't figured it out yet so I can't give you any advice. But hopefully it'll help a little that you're not the only one feeling that way.
Author greenparrot Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 thanks everyone, I felt like a bomb yesterday and decided to cope with the lies and didnt send anything. Its tough since we go to the same college and our classes are just 2 doors apart so i always se her and viceversa. However I simply walk by her, no hello no anything. im sure she now talks bad about me with her friends for doing this.. But I was so stupid before on being nice to someone who cares less how much she hurts me, I have to live for me. gacg2d, how did you make it by for 1.5 months?? How lng did the relationship last?, Mine was 4 years, she was my everything and I was her everything, what kills me is that she has someone else! I hope I can last 1.5 months of NC, hell 1 week for me would be a record.
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