DustySaltus Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Now that my X-Fiance knows that I am ok with moving on she has begun to pull out the big guns and tell me how much of a loser I really was. According to her I am: 1. A Pathological Liar 2. Alcoholic Fiend/Compulsive Gambler 3. Terrible with Money 4. Not Serious about living in her country 5. My mother and her could never get along. Mind you she: 1. Kicked me out after checking my emails and seeing something she didn't like. The latest of the emails, "Hey, I'm engaged but keep in on the low"....to my brother btw because I wanted to tell my parents myself. She equated it with me wanting to keep it secret because I was still trying to go after women? Taken completely out of context. Therefore, I lied to HER about loving her over and over again...geez. 2. Tried to get me fired from my job, feels no regret (6 weeks later) and would do it all over again. 3. After I cut her off she calls me 10 times in two minutes and overloads my emails saying "I thought you loved me, why aren't you responding...only afterward to send the email above. 4. Tells me I wasn't serious about going to her country after becoming an f'ing citizen of that country. 5. My mom is fake because she didn't respond to an email until a week later to her. Then making the assumption that she would never get close to my mom and family is very important to her so she can't be with me. All off of one email? (BTW, they met and everything was fine and I tried to make everything as smooth as possible). 6. I spent over 10,000 to get over there numerous times, not mention an engagement ring. Money that could've went to a condo here. 7. I was dragging her home and tucking her in many nights. Never abused alcohol, got drunk with her maybe once or twice but that's it. Have no idea where the gambling thing came from...played a game of cards with my boys once a month.... I wanted to respond but I am staying NC. I just needed to post this somewhere because I need to know that I made the right move.
mickleb Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Lucky escape, my friend. For the life of me, it is unclear why you would have wanted to date her, let alone marry.
boogieboy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 You made the right move. You dodged a bullet...Matrix Neo style
CaliGuy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 The best thing you can do is ignore her. She's obviously trying to get a rise out of you and doing a good job of it. Nothing makes a bigger statement than complete and utter silence.
Author DustySaltus Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 You made the right move. You dodged a bullet...Matrix Neo style Right now it seems like the scene where the agents just keep on coming out of nowhere, hundreds of them....they just won't stop.
john1988 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Sounds so similar to my situation it's unbelievable, silence is definitely the way to go I made the mistake of rising to it and saying how could you say that about me etc which is exactly what she wanted, don't speak to her at all now thankfully.
boogieboy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Right now it seems like the scene where the agents just keep on coming out of nowhere, hundreds of them....they just won't stop. Yeah you can see their moves coming. And once too many of them are upon you, you spin around on the pole to round kick like 50 of them, then when they dogpile on you, you shoot up in the air and gfly away from that situation. They cant fly like you.... See how well matrix works?
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 dude, every dumper does this. You stole the power back by telling her to bugger off. Now she wants it back. She is trying to formulate sh*t in her head to justify her poor choice.
Author DustySaltus Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 dude, every dumper does this. You stole the power back by telling her to bugger off. Now she wants it back. She is trying to formulate sh*t in her head to justify her poor choice. She called me again today to say that she wanted to end things on a good note. I told her she is a quitter and never took this relationship seriously. As you've said before sili I think she may be a closet runner. After all I did, she just quit and that is the most unattractive thing in the world. She then proceeded to call my mom fake again, so I hung up the phone. She called back and I told her to never, ever call me again and hung up again. Man, I really lost my cool with this woman. She has me in therapy, had me smoking a pack a day (never smoked before) and keeping advil in business. I guess I should be celebrating but I go through this emotional see saw and for some reason I don't think this is the end yet.
john1988 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 She called me again today to say that she wanted to end things on a good note. I told her she is a quitter and never took this relationship seriously. As you've said before sili I think she may be a closet runner. After all I did, she just quit and that is the most unattractive thing in the world. She then proceeded to call my mom fake again, so I hung up the phone. She called back and I told her to never, ever call me again and hung up again. Man, I really lost my cool with this woman. She has me in therapy, had me smoking a pack a day (never smoked before) and keeping advil in business. I guess I should be celebrating but I go through this emotional see saw and for some reason I don't think this is the end yet. Please please please don't lose anymore time of your life over this, I did and I would hate to see someone else going through it. She will probably contact you again down the line but you really can't allow her for your own sake- believe me. Do what you need to do to get her out your life forever.
john1988 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 dude, every dumper does this. You stole the power back by telling her to bugger off. Now she wants it back. She is trying to formulate sh*t in her head to justify her poor choice. Do they actually ever justify it to themselves do you think Toad? Or do you think it continues to haunts them forever?
gavinus Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Stay strong, keep NC!! my ex treated me like crap, I want to tell her how much she hurt me, her birthday came and went and I stayed NC, silence does say so much, it says the person is nothing more than a memory keep being strong, stay NC so you can move on, good luck my friend
Author DustySaltus Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I'm going on my first real "date" since the breakup this weekend in Central Park. It should be a good time, I think i'm ready and focused on just making myself happy. I just can't believe how things deteriorated so quickly with this woman, it makes me skeptical about relationships in general.
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 She called me again today to say that she wanted to end things on a good note. I told her she is a quitter and never took this relationship seriously. As you've said before sili I think she may be a closet runner. After all I did, she just quit and that is the most unattractive thing in the world. She then proceeded to call my mom fake again, so I hung up the phone. She called back and I told her to never, ever call me again and hung up again. Man, I really lost my cool with this woman. She has me in therapy, had me smoking a pack a day (never smoked before) and keeping advil in business. I guess I should be celebrating but I go through this emotional see saw and for some reason I don't think this is the end yet. Trust me I know all about closet runners. They fill there head with preposterous bullsh*t to justify their illogical, unethical choices. It's like they self perpetuate with it, and you know what? Like me, we both need to breathe a small sigh of relief that it got no further than it did. I am a smoker. When my girl left me I was up to 2 packs a day for a week straight. I've cut down drastically. I also went to therapy. It helped, but it can only go as far as you want it to. You were right to block her off. If it keeps going though, you may need to change numbers or get hers blocked.
Author DustySaltus Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Trust me I know all about closet runners. They fill there head with preposterous bullsh*t to justify their illogical, unethical choices. It's like they self perpetuate with it, and you know what? Like me, we both need to breathe a small sigh of relief that it got no further than it did. Yeah, we definetly need to count our blessings. The thing is the journey between the breakup and realizing this was the toughest part. But its better to find out now than one day five years from now when we may have had a few kids and I wake up to find out they all went back to the old country...
silic0ntoad Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yeah, we definetly need to count our blessings. The thing is the journey between the breakup and realizing this was the toughest part. But its better to find out now than one day five years from now when we may have had a few kids and I wake up to find out they all went back to the old country... Agreed. We can take solace in it. It's still painful. But we can still take solace that one day down the road, however pot holed it may be, we'll find happiness. And they will keep running.
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