katherine123 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 My live in SO and I have been together for almost four years, living together for over 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship, I tried to make him happy and looking back on it, I should have let him go when he said he wanted to break things off. He is a guy who told me I had to prove I loved him more then two other girls his friends wanted him to date around the 4 month mark, kept breaking up with me over text messages then taking it back because he didn't really mean it, continuing this pattern until the first year we were together until he really needed me when he lost his license for DUI. Also, I didn't really realize how much he drank until we moved in together and I was able to see for myself the alcohol he consumes (he could drink a 12-18 pack every day by himself), but by that point I convinced myself we had just moved in together and I loved him enough to believe him when he said that he was going to change and that he would stop drinking when he had less stress from work. Two years later and the drinking has not stopped. The only thing that has changed is he drinks more, and now calls me names or curses at me when he is drunk if he gets mad at me. As bad as it sounds I used to be able to overlook it, but I don't know if I can do it anymore. All the love I felt at the beginning has faded and I don't know if I still even feel any of it anymore. He pouts when he doesnt get his way when he's drinking, tries to blame not going to school on work, me, and other problems he has in his life, talks about money problems, then leaves work early everyday for two weeks, not to mention numerous others. How much is too much is what I want to know? How much should one take before they can't take it anymore? He has never physically abused me at all, but emotionally and verbally he does to the point of sometimes I am not hurt by what he says although I don't know why. It makes me wonder if I still even have any love from him if non-specific hurtful things he says don't hurt me. Any advice would be appreciated.
utterer of lies Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 ... Leave him now. Its obvious you are not happy and you just stay there because of some feeling of guilt or obligation. You don't owe him anything. Do what makes you happy.
sparklemama Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Its time to step away now.It does not matter that he has not hit you,you are obviously not happy and you shouldn't have to sit down and take it.any kind of abuse whether it be verbal,physical or mental is not normal at all and does not take place in any kind of relationship.I know it sounds bad because you guys have been together 4 yrs so you feel the need to help him and nurture him but it looks like he does not want your help so you need to do what's best for you and go as far away from him as you can.
Author katherine123 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 I'm not sure why, but it seems like I have invested so much time in this relationship and put forth so much effort that it is hard for me to let go even though I know I am not happy most of the time. When we moved in together, he refused to move OUT of his apartment and INTO my house, so I ended up selling my house and moving in with him which looking back on was dumb for me to do.
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