Just graduated college... freaking out about the dating scene. Bars are not for me!

[Vertex]

I just graduated from college and I've moved to my new apartment in another state (Texas). I am finding the dating scene, as predicted, to be insanely difficult compared to what it was in college. I'm not surrounded by my peers all day.

 

I've had girlfriends in college, granted, but unfortunately I was single by the time I left. I've been to a few bars but I find that I have a really hard time making random conversation with the girls there. Even then I don't find that I click with many of the girls I meet in bars (I'm very "analytical" in the sense that I enjoy computers/art/languages/finance/music/whatever).

 

Does anyone have any advice for a guy like me? I'm so worried I'm going to be spending my post-college days alone and starved. I crave intimacy, kindness, and intellectual compatibility, and I'm just not getting that from the bar scene.

 

ANY advice on the matter would be very much appreciated. Thanks!

[SoulSearch_CO]

Try meetup.com. It's not a dating site - that's why I like it so much. I just wanted to meet people in my area and ended up getting emailed by this super-cute guy that has the same interests as me. With you having more of an analytical mind, perhaps you can find a group that fits your tastes and meet people in your community...could maybe lead to an intro somewhere. But at least you're not home alone.

[Vertex]

Thanks for the link Seems like a pretty cool site... definitely gotta use that as a resource.

 

Any other advice, guys?

[collegekid491]

I would definitely recommend getting out and doing some activities.

 

I met my ex in a muay thai fighting studio (random, i know :s), and I meet alot of people my age through hockey, church, or pretty much anything outside of the 9-5 hours. It's still not as easy as college, but definitely helps.

[jerbear]

Congrats! Now I can call you an alum!

 

Stay away from bars if that avenue is not working for you, eventually you'll grow out of the bar scene. I won't discount the bar but do try other places.

 

Texas?!?! ok... why :lmao::lmao:

 

I thought of relocating for a job in TX but I digress. TX has it's own culture and style even within TX. Houston and Austin have two different cultures. At least it is not the good ole college town.

 

With your background and education, I suggest joining a local group i.e Jaycees, Chamber of Commerce, Meetup, alumni club (hint hint). These groups can lead to dates with like minded people. Even if it does not lead that way, it can lead to other things like future job, leads, etc... I've met some interesting people who can "help" me in the future. Some lead me to their single friends and some gave me leads to the next thing.

[New Again]

Lots of places to meet people. I posted something similar to this in someone else's thread, but when I moved to DC, where I am now, after I got my masters I didn't really know anyone.

 

I got new hobbies, took a couple classes, joined groups I was interested (photography, book club, a networking site for horse owners and riders, etc.). I also looked through my Facebook account for anyone I was acquainted with in the area, and sent them messages letting them know I was new to the area, there were a couple things I wanted to check out (museums and whatever) and would they like to come with me.

 

Doing things like that will help you meet friends AND potential dates...and your new friends can always introduce you to girls and set you up too.

 

I met my current bf through mutual friends here.

 

Good luck!

[Vertex]

I am pretty certain I am going to have to join clubs/groups/etc to find what I want... also the groups themselves seem pretty fun Gives me things to do.

 

Haha, nice to hear from you Jerbear! And yes, I relocated for work. I'm currently in Austin (I am not yet familiar with the culture here but I digress).