Scar Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Its kinda long story.. Will try to make it short. I have been in love with this girl for the last 14 years.. Saw her when i was in my 7th Grade.. Dint have the courage to approach her.. I silently used to like her and when i was in my 12th one of my friends proposed to her and she said yes to him.. She was with him for a few months.. They got physical in those few months.. Then she started likin a muslim guy from her college and she broke up with my friend.. She was with this guy for 5 years.. She got physical with him also, knowin very well she wasnt gonna end up with him.. Now after 14 years i told her how i felt for her and she said she also liked me always but dint know if i liked her coz i had never told her.. Everyone around supposedly knew i liked her.. Lets Nywz give her the benefit of the doubt.. Life has changed after she has come into my life.. I am so sure that she is the one i wanna marry.. But the problem is that i cant trust her.. Whenever i ask her anything that i know will hurt me she hides the details and tells only what i want to hear.. Supposedly she doesnt tell me things coz it will hurt me.. I have told her multiple times that its okie if she hurts me but i expect her to be honest.. I know she loves me and i love her too.. I am just worried that she has been lying to me.. And the fact that she decided to get physical with people she knew she wasnt gonna end up with.. I know its her past and it should not affect anymore coz she's with me.. But its been 7 months and it makes me depressed every single day.. N she's been with me thru thick n thin.. I know im wrong in feelin bad thinkin bout her past.. But i am not able to get thru it.. Someone please help to put in a little happiness atleast in our relationship..
collegekid491 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Her past is her's. Honestly, if you can't get through it, why are you dating her? Any 'happiness' you get from here will be short lived as soon as the touchy topic gets brought up again. You have to learn to deal with it. It's quite obvious your stance on sex is much more... conservative. I mean, its not like she cheated and bounced around guys every weekend, and who's to say at the time she didn't think there would have been a future with the guy? Hindsight is 20/20. Your jealousy is killing the relationship, and by the sounds of it you are well aware and allowing it to happen
girl68 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Work on yourself... you either need a virgin or you NEED TO STOP ASKING. Listen let's be real she's been with what 2 guys? Umm that's pretty conservative all in all. If you can't accept THAT... you need to dump her a find a virgin. Should you decide that you want this girl STOP ASKING ABOUT HER PAST RIGHT NOW! All you need to know is the were you safe, and are you clean. Not who, not when, not where, not what positions, not what's the kinkiest thing, not her fantasies she's played out- NOTHING. Was she safe, and is she clean... that's all you get. Period. If you ask- I hope she lies, you cannot handle the truth... obviously.
single ape Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 dood! get an effin hold of yourself. You are on the verge of blowing a great thing because of totally acceptable behaviour on her part. You want to know depressed? When your jealousies drive her away and all youre left with is a giant plate of regret for the rest of your life. Until then (which is coming if you dont shake it, and quick) you don't even know the meaning of depressed. Get it together before you get nothing. If i was telling you this in person Id include a few slaps across the face and a firm two arm body shaking.
single ape Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 "her past is her's" thats a great quote.. learn it, live it, you dont have to love it.. but you do have to get used to it.
JohnP82 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Sorry dude. Be prepared to get raked over the coals for questioning a SO's past. Whether that's sleeping with enough people to fill a baseball roster, pillaging a village, etc
Green Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Seriously dude as long as she is disease free I don't think her past sounds bad. Are you a virgin? Were you expecting her to be a virgin? So what if she is lying to you about her past... you obviously know about it do you need her to describe in detail how many orgasms she had or bj's she gave as opposed to full out sex and if she was planning on marrying the guy she bj'd
norajane Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Whenever i ask her anything that i know will hurt me she hides the details and tells only what i want to hear.. Supposedly she doesnt tell me things coz it will hurt me.. I have told her multiple times that its okie if she hurts me but i expect her to be honest..STOP ASKING FOR DETAILS. You already cannot handle the truth you do know, that she's slept with 2 guys, one of whom she was with for 5 years. What possible good could come of you knowing how often they had sex, when, what positions? She won't tell you the details because she can already see you are a mopey miserable basket case simply knowing she had two boyfriends she had sex with. She doesn't need you making her feel like crap because you can't handle the details. She did nothing wrong and doesn't want to play 20 questions with you about it. Knowing those details SERVES NO PURPOSE.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I'm sorry, but this whole thing reminded me of the ! As to what she tells you and when, let her say what she wants to say when she wants to say it. She may not be protecting you at all; it could just be that she's not mentally or emotionally ready to tell you yet. Women are good about not telling us things before they think we're ready for it. Have a little faith in her, okay? Ditch the assumptions; you're making way too many of them. You're assuming that she wasn't planning to stay with 5-year guy (I have yet to meet a chick who's with a guy that long and isn't planning a lifetime commitment), you're assuming that she is going to make a lifetime commitment to you, and, although you didn't say it in so many words, it sounds like you assumed that she wouldn't have sex with other guys simply on the fact that others knew you liked her (and therefore, somehow she should've as well?). There are a lot of unrealistic expectations here, and that's not healthy for a relationship. Two guys is a "history"? Geesh, I've dated girls who were with more guys in a weekend! (Yes, one of my ex's was a Veronica.) Like the others said, let that go. She's not a virgin, and if that is part of your criteria for a SO, you could wind up very lonely. Silly question for you: you knew her history before you two started dating, right? If so, knowing that it bothered you, why go out with her at all? Sorry dude. Be prepared to get raked over the coals for questioning a SO's past. Whether that's sleeping with enough people to fill a baseball roster, pillaging a village, etc You dated a pillager!? Too cool! Where can I find a chick like that?? "So, honey, I was thinking. How about tomorrow we get a bite to eat, go for a drive, do a little plundering, and then catch the late show?" What a date!!
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