Khabarak Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I'm a 20 year old male (21 in a few months) and I'm wondering... Is a 16 year old girl (recently 16, I believe) too young for me to pursue? In reality, four (possibly close to 5) years isn't really that much difference, but is that age difference, at our age, a little much? Personally, I feel like it should be fine... I just want some other opinions. The only thing that might concern me is maturity, but that is just something I'd have to find out. Of course, that whole issue may be irrelevant anyway... I'm not sure if I'll ever get a chance to talk with her. I work with this girl... or really, around this girl but it just so happens that our schedules at work are pretty much opposite. There is only one opportunity (at least that I know of) for me to talk with her, but I have no idea where she goes. There is a small possibility that I could have a chance to talk to her this week (things will be a little different for me) but it is pretty minimal as she has probably started back to school (as will I next week). This leads me to my next question... We have a couple of mutual friends on Facebook (found this out when she posted on one of their walls). This made me think... Is there any reason why I shouldn't send her a friend request on Facebook with a brief note saying something like, "Hello! We've seen each other at work [we have... she glances at me somewhat frequently], but have never talked. I'd like to say hello sometime. When would be a good time?" That said, there is actually a girl (my age) that I recently wrote online (on OkCupid) who I'm equally as interested in (and whom I know a lot more about). I've gotten one reply from her (a positive one which contained compliments and a request that I write soon). Right now I'm eagerly awaiting a second reply. I'm hopeful that I can at least make a new friend because we have a lot in common. Now for the issue: I've made friends online before, but I've never successfully migrated them to real life. How long should I give things before I start brining up meeting? I don't want to jump the gun, or wait too long... Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this. Any advice or input will be appreciated.
New Again Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I skipped everything between Is a 16 yo girl too young for me to pursue and there is a girl my age I'm equally interested in. Do you live in the U.S.? Because if you do, maybe you should familiarize yourself with the term "statutory rape"? If you live in another country maybe there are different laws. Go for the girl your own age.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I think the 16 vs 20 is too much of a gap. Just because she's in HS and you're in college. Now, when you're both out of school, 4 years doesn't mean jack. But she's jailbait, man. Are you expecting to not have sex within a relationship? I think there's too much at stake. Be her friend, but I wouldn't recommend trying to be her boyfriend. Too much yakking on FB about why you requested her. Just say, "I've seen you around work - I didn't realize we had mutual friends." in the personal message and leave it at that. The other girl...I think the sooner you meet someone IRL, the better. Then you can decide if there's any real chemistry before investing a ****load of time online. I emailed back and forth with the guy I'm seeing now for almost 2 weeks...and I think we should have met IRL sooner. LOL The chemistry is banging. Once you've established a baseline - you like similar things, agree on most topics, etc....ask her to meet IRL!
boogieboy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I skipped everything between Is a 16 yo girl too young for me to pursue and there is a girl my age I'm equally interested in. Do you live in the U.S.? Because if you do, maybe you should familiarize yourself with the term "statutory rape"? If you live in another country maybe there are different laws. Go for the girl your own age. And in addition to this, dont EVER freind request someone on facebook before you talk to them IRL that you want to date. That is like telling them up front how much of a coward you are. Makes you look creepy.
New Again Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 And in addition to this, dont EVER freind request someone on facebook before you talk to them IRL that you want to date. That is like telling them up front how much of a coward you are. Makes you look creepy. Mmm, big pet peeve. Facebook is not a free dating site!! Good advice from Soul Search. The point of dating sites is to make contact and establish interest, so you can meet IRL ASAP. Good luck.
Author Khabarak Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Alright, well I guess the general consensus is stay away from the 16 year old. I'm probably more interested in the other girl anyway, but I wanted to follow as many paths as I can... I'll listen to what was said, but I do have a few things to say in response: Do you live in the U.S.? Because if you do, maybe you should familiarize yourself with the term "statutory rape"? If you live in another country maybe there are different laws. I do live in the U.S. and I'm informed about statutory rape. That would be an issue for less than a year. The age of consent here is 17 (it is actually 16 in a lot of states). To me, that situation would not be an end all... I think the 16 vs 20 is too much of a gap. Just because she's in HS and you're in college. Now, when you're both out of school, 4 years doesn't mean jack. Thanks for all of your input. The whole sex issue though, again, is mute to me. I could wait the months if I liked the girl. And in addition to this, dont EVER freind request someone on facebook before you talk to them IRL that you want to date. That is like telling them up front how much of a coward you are. Makes you look creepy. Generally I would agree with you, but in this case I'm pretty sure she would know that I actually cannot come say hello. I'm quite literally stuck in one place while I work, and anybody who has seen me working would be fully aware of that fact. Mmm, big pet peeve. Facebook is not a free dating site!! While I get where you are coming from about Facebook, the whole reason I was considering this is because, while we see each other at work, there is no opportunity for me to talk to her. When I say 'see' I mean it literally. It's not the kind of situation where we walk past each other on occasion and I could say hello if I only had the guts. To talk to her in person, I would either have to interrupt her work (which would be rude to her and the people she is working with) or leave my post while I was supposed to be working which would probably get me fired. The only time that is not the case is that one break I mentioned, and I don't know where she goes. I'm really not trying to treat it as a free dating site... The point of dating sites is to make contact and establish interest, so you can meet IRL ASAP. Good luck. Thanks
collegekid491 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Apart from all that's been said, a 16 y/o wouldn't know what she wants anyways. At 16 they are still in high school and as mature as they think they are, aren't to familiar with the differences involved in the adult dating scene, and being submersed in immaturity at least 6 hours of the day doesn't help. But ya, good luck with the other prospect!
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