babydreamer Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
jwi71 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Can you be in love with two people at the same time? Yes you can in my opinion. And notice...I've omitted my commentary...a little credit if you would...thank you thank you... But. See...what kind of dialogue is that? I mean..."yes". And that's it? Nah...can't do it... Yes you can OP...but in the end its fair to neither (actually isn't fair to yourself either) and, imo, ends with ALL hurt...
Lizzie60 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Can you be in love with two people at the same time? Yes I think it is possible.
tami-chan Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 lol..Jwi71 (<---this guy is hot!)...sorry t/j.! Anyway, OP, yes it IS possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time. Why wouldn't it be? The heart(mind) has a huge capacity to love. Whether it will end up well for everyone concerned, is another story.
Author babydreamer Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Too bad we all can't be one big happy family LOL j/k
Owl Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I would say that you can "love" more than one person at a time. I don't believe that you can SUSTAIN A ROMANTIC LOVE with two people indefinitely tho. In other words...you might be able to "love" two men...but you're not going to be able to STAY "in love" with both men indefinitely. One relationship will wax, the other wane. Most people aren't able to emotionally invest equally in both relationships...they'll invest in one more than the other. One relationship will grow, the other will suffer. You might even go back and forth over which one grows over time...but eventually, one will grow more than the other...and you'll slowly find yourself "falling out of love" with one of them. You'll suddenly feel like you're "just friends" with them...or "just roomates", or whatever variation of that you choose.
carhill Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Yep, one R will end up prioritized over the other and the in-love part will die, if not in the polyamory, then in one of the partners. No doubt though, it is *possible* to be in-love and emotionally connected to more than one person. It's just exceedingly difficult to sustain it.
Gamine Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I love many people and a compendium of animals. I love them with my whole heart. So why wouldn't this extend to members of the opposite sex to whom and with whom we have a sexual and/or romantic attraction? The question is not whether we are, by nature, capable, but whether it is wise to choose to love more than one person romantically when we have promised not to.
Owl Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I think asking if we are CAPABLE of doing so is a valid question. As I said...I do believe that there are limits to what we're CAPABLE of sustaining long-term. You can "love" any number of people...but "being in love" takes effort to sustain...and most people can't sustain it with two people for an extended time.
boldjack Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 In my opinion, Owl came the closest to the truth. It is no more possible to be "in Love", with two people, than it is to have two favorite foods or two favorite songs, AND LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY. If you are with one, you are neglecting the other. If one relationship is becoming more intense, the intensity of the other is lessening. This is one of those dangerous fallacies that lead to dishonesty and failure. I've tried to do this, with two women, and ended up losing both, because I was only able to give 1/2 of my total attention to each. 1/2 is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.;)
Author babydreamer Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Oh I see. So even right now if I'm in love with both, eventually, I will lose the "in-love" feeling for one. If that's the case, does that mean I will have a better relationship (love) with the one I'm still in love with? Or how do you choose/know which one you love more?
boldjack Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 So you are saying, that you are in love with two people equally, at the same time , and that you devote total love to both. Sorry, I don't believe it.
Devil Inside Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I think you can definitely love more than one person. Being in-love with two people for very long...I don't see it.
Author babydreamer Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Okay.. then how do you know which one you're "in" love more???
jwi71 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Oh I see. So even right now if I'm in love with both, eventually, I will lose the "in-love" feeling for one. If that's the case, does that mean I will have a better relationship (love) with the one I'm still in love with? Or how do you choose/know which one you love more? Does each know of the other? See where Im going...one, if not both, is going to be hurt and angry...and YOU will also hurt. You're going to have to choose...how? Only you can do that. Even thought I think its possible to love more than one person...it NEVER ends well for anyone involved...you are just now learning that...and its a learned lesson...this one is yours.
deux ex machina Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Okay.. then how do you know which one you're "in" love more??? Only you can answer that question, but I'd hate to see you sit on the fence. You must make a decision, and the sooner the better for all concerned. Best to be decisive. Good luck to you.
Holding-On Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I suggest you google polyamory and forum. You will be able to connect with people who do love more than one person romantically at a time and ask them.
Author babydreamer Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 One i know loves me deeply, the other one I'm not so sure. I think I know which 'one I love more but that person is hard to read and I'm don't know how much that person loves me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship that has to "love" the other person more. And, I'm not so sure if that person is loyal. I hate to lose that one person whose madly in love with you and will never do you wrong to someone who might. AH! what to do???
fooled once Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 There is no black and white answer to your question of "can you love two people at the same time". Depends on each individual. ME personally; no I couldn't. I would love ONE more, even a little more, than the other. Which is exactly why I only had 1 child; I knew I would never love another child the way I loved my son.
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