loveslife Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 For the first time in a long time I can say there's absolutely not one guy I'm interested in romantically right now. It was inadvertent (and in a way hard won) but it has turned into a time of reflection and clarity for me and understanding better what I want, need and deserve. In a way I feel ambivalent about getting involved with anyone. I like being alone in some ways. But there's also a part of me kind of looking forward to showing off my new skills (showing them off to myself.) What has been other peoples' experience with this type of time?
dreamergrl Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 My attitude changed for the better. I stopped giving off such a nasty vibe. I got pickier. And BAM - some how I was getting checked out, asked out, talked to left and right.
New Again Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Fantastic "me" time. Love it. Every relationship I end up in after such a time is better than the last, and I'm happier overall as a person.
kizik Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Have been single for over a year - sick of it. But for you ladies, being single is always a choice. Enjoy this time for as long as you feel like, then pluck another one from the stream.
Author loveslife Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Thanks guys. dreamergrl, I do think my attitude is better now, too. I'm more at peace. There was just too much stress with the men I was connecting with for a while. It was really tough to break away from it all and the little lies I was telling myself. A harsh type of reality set in when I was finally being honest with myself. But I'm SO glad for that now. And relieved. New Again, yup, that's what it feels like now. Me time. Haha I haven't felt at all deprived without a man around. Quite the contrary. Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm hoping for the better than the last experience myself. kizik, I think I'm going to swim along the stream and start watching for someone to pluck me up. Only the best fisherman will do for me. Good luck to you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 My experience with that time was that it didn't last long. I got divorced a year ago from a man I thought was the love of my life. Was in a vanilla relationship with a new man from Jan-Jul. I hit exactly where you're at after I broke up with that guy. Deleted profiles from online, was cutting myself off from any kind of show of interest in dating... Joined an adventurer group just to get myself out of the house and this guy started emailing me. I seriously held him at bay as a romantic possibility even up until we met the first time (11 days after we first started corresponding). It wasn't until we kissed on our second meeting that I realized it - ****. I think having that time, or at the very least, that realization - that you are OK alone - you are a perfectly whole person all on your own and you don't need a SO to complete you... Makes you all that much more attractive to potential suitors. I swore up and down that I wasn't looking and I swore I wasn't going to be one of "those" that said the words, but was actually looking. I wasn't! LOL But having that attitude that I'm a perfectly happy person with me - it makes me a lot more relaxed with this guy. I'm not so much tied to the results. And I think it's making it easier on both of us. Have fun with your alone time. *snicker*
JohnP82 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I can definitely relate. For about the last 2 months I have had that feeling. It's really great not feeling like I'm missing something in my life because I don't have a girlfriend. I think it's partially because I'm really busy with my life now, volunteering, I just took the Bar Exam, and am looking for a job. (The market is tough) A girl would be nice, but no big deal not having one.
Author loveslife Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 I feel more balanced, centered, at peace, strong and confident than I have in ages. By nature, I'm a pretty independent person. It's nice to have that back. SoulSearch and John, thanks for sharing your experience with "me time." It was really painful having to face some of the choices I've made but having done so it's like I can now move on and start fresh. Such a weight has been lifted.
Odyssey Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 ...It's really great not feeling like I'm missing something in my life because I don't have a girlfriend. I think it's partially because I'm really busy with my life now... I'm the same, just doing a lot of things on my own, but without a permanent job it's damn hard. I'm just enjoying ME time at the moment and it's great. I just hope it isn't a phase, and i start feeling lonely. Checking out LS occasionally & writing helps i guess, 'cause it might help someone else. But it can get quite depressing reading all the sad posts. Do anyone feel exhausted sometimes reading LS? Or is LS kinda addictive for you?
monkey00 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I think for me, my life is pretty much in place. Though the one constant that seems to be missing is the right girl in my life. I've been single for about a year now, and I've been looking and dating. It does get lonely sometimes as I want someone to share and experience all these things with. Seemingly in the past month, I've been in the phase of not caring or finding anyone interesting for that matter. Being single has it's pros, but I would much rather have that special someone in my life.
paddington bear Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Have been single for over a year - sick of it. But for you ladies, being single is always a choice. Enjoy this time for as long as you feel like, then pluck another one from the stream. Not true - being single for girls isn't always a choice, maybe in the States where men do tend to actually ask girls out it's different, but over here in Europe, you can be single and looking forever as far as I can see.
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