littlewhiterose Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Just got finished reading the post title "What is considered game playing" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t198587/ and now I feel kinda bad. Not to mention confused. Reading it made me realized that something I did the other day could probably be viewed (by everything I read in the thread) as game playing . I'm not (what's a girl player anyways - a playette?) I'm not a 'playette' by any means, what I did was not intentional. BUT on the other hand, he did end up responding very quickly & intensely. So of course, I'm confused. I've never changed myself just to be with someone. Being myself has helped but this unintended move seemed to have spiced things up a bit. I've got a bit of an angel/devil thing going on now. I don't want to go to the dark side, but I hear they have cookies. Help me out here...
New Again Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Too general...I don't know what you're saying?
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 sorry, basically I took some time out for myself and went MIA without telling anyone- including the guy i'm interested in. I had to just get away & clear my mind. In my time away, it seems to have made his interest increase. More than before I went away. This was not an intentional game play to gauge his interest or anything. But now I'm wondering why it seems more people respond to playing or inconsistencies than not, whether it's intentional not.
New Again Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 sorry, basically I took some time out for myself and went MIA without telling anyone- including the guy i'm interested in. I had to just get away & clear my mind. In my time away, it seems to have made his interest increase. More than before I went away. This was not an intentional game play to gauge his interest or anything. But now I'm wondering why it seems more people respond to playing or inconsistencies than not, whether it's intentional not. If you were solely focused on yourself, and didn't act intending to get a reaction from someone (anyone), I don't consider that playing a game.
kizik Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Basic human psych indicates that the less available something (or someone) is, the more the other wants it. That's what dating really is, as I'm starting to discover. In a way, I feel like saying congrats - you've successfully played the game, albeit without trying. If you want to keep this guy, I'd say keep on doing what you're doing.
kizik Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I don't want to go to the dark side, but I hear they have cookies. Yes we do, and they're delicious.
dreamergrl Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Yeah... the less one can have something, the more they want it. But if you were just trying to take time out for you, I wouldn't feel guilty about playing a game.
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 In a way, I feel like saying congrats - you've successfully played the game, albeit without trying. If you want to keep this guy, I'd say keep on doing what you're doing. This. I think this may be where my guilt is coming from?
kizik Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 The fact that you HAVE guilt means that you're not cut out for game-playing, anyway. The people who do that routinely are generally pretty unconcerned about others' feelings. Use this experience as a lesson in what you can do to make guys squirm.
Author littlewhiterose Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 If you were solely focused on yourself, and didn't act intending to get a reaction from someone (anyone), I don't consider that playing a game. Yeah... the less one can have something, the more they want it. But if you were just trying to take time out for you, I wouldn't feel guilty about playing a game. Yes, it was solely for myself. What happened, just happened to be a by-product- of. So I'll try to feel less guilty. Yes we do, and they're delicious. I'm not cut out for game playing. Quit trying to tempt me!
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 You weren't game-playing. You were valuing your own time over other people. I don't see anything wrong with that. And totally agree with the others that've said the less someone can have of something, the more they want it. What you did is actually highly recommended in "Why Men Love Bitches." It's not a "play." It's taking care of yourself first. You value you, he will value you. Sounds good to me.
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