JL911 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Ive had it! I keep moping around and complaining. Im sick of being sad. Im sick of thinking I am worthless and not good enough for someone. Here is what I am about to do. I need a night to talk to my ex. I am going to tell her, ya know Ive been thinking. AND STAND UP FOR MYSELF! If this is what you REALLY REALLY WANT, then I can do nothing about it. I know I got kinda emotional when things got tough and came off as smothering and needy, but Im not. I really dont need you in my life, I just want you there. I am an attractive, confident, funny, assertive, honest, loyal, 25 year old guy with a ton to give someone. It really isnt all that hard to go out and get some girls number and have fun. Its not hard for me to find a date or go to a bar and pick up chicks. If this is really what you want and dont want me as a part of your life then lets just quit saying we are going to try to be friends or quit avoiding each other and we will just go our seperate ways....Because face it, we have never been friends. Im not going to try to manipulate you back into this...Im not going to try to make you miss me by not talking to you...Im not going to make you jealous...Im just going to tell you exactly what is on my mind like I always have...I want you in my life as my girlfriend, and if it really is not what you want then I guess I am done and will give up on the situation and am just move on with my life and not think too much more about this...I really do not want this, but if you do...so be it... If you think there is someone better than me, great. Because I dont think so. I know what I am capable of, and what my intentions were with you. I have been with you for almost 4 years now. I know you. I love you for you and always have. I am familiar with you. I know I have made some mistakes and somethings about myself need to change, but I am man enough to say I was wrong and apologize. I embrace the change and want it. You may not think that I can change overnight, but I am not a little boy anymore.
hopesndreams Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Give NC more time to work for you, it's only been 10 days. Nowhere near long enough for her to miss you and nowhere near long enough for you to get control of your emotions. I know it's difficult, I am going through the same crap and have some of the same thoughts you do. At this time, if you break your NC, her response will NOT be what you want. You say you can handle it, but without enough time NC, you won't be able to, no matter how much you want to.
Author JL911 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 So what maybe wait another couple weeks?
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 By staying NC you are already telling her all that you have posted. Think about it, actions speak louder than words. Think about how she may interpret your silence, at first she may think you are ignoring her b/c your hurt, but eventually the thoughts of "oh, he's still not speaking to me, why's that?" may creep in. Having said that, they may never, but you contacting her now is only going to push her further away. You will find the longer you stay NC the better handle you will have on your emotions and hopefully, by the time she realises what she threw away, you will be much happier without her.
hopesndreams Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It can take as long as two months, I do believe, and if she doesn't come round by then, she may never. But, in that time, you are allowing yourself to build up your self-esteem. If you had dealings with her now, she will only string you along and you would get more and more miserable with each passing day. Take this time out for you. Treat yourself well during this time. Don't think negative, only positive thoughts, that you can survive this painful time in your life, and come out of it, a better person.
Author JL911 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 This is the initial stance I should have taken on the matter.... Well ill wait till maybe the end or middle of September....then im going to have to make some kind of move unless she breaks first....Ive already been getting out with some different people....Its really not that hard to get out and do things and meet people...But to fall in love...now that is where the trick is... Im glad I found the Loveshack...lol and have a small support group here along with me...
hopesndreams Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 We're all in this together. Only those that have been through it themselves, can understand.
001bh Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 wow, you pretty much summed up what I was going to tell my ex gf (but only if and whenever she decides to call.) It's also only been 10 days for me since the phone breakup but I've managed to keep myself preoccupied and even met another fun older girl that I would like to get to know more of. But you're right, getting out is easy, it's the falling in love part that is tricky. I'm staying NC and everyday it gets easier and easier to forget about her. Keep in mind I went out with her for 3 years. I'm only 22 going on 23.
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