Am I moving to slow?

[Tony427]

Okay I'll try to make a long story short and let you fill in where its obvious and doesn't need explaining.

 

I met this girl a while back and we exchanged numbers etc etc. We have hung out a few times, last time we hung out was a few weeks ago we went and saw a movie.This was I'd say our first date-ish situation. Well I called her again the next weekend I left a voice mail and she got back to me sayin she was busy... all well and good I understand people have lives. She said to give her a call next weekend so I did... no call back so i went on with stuff that I had to do and ended up running into her at the grocery store. we talked for a few minutes and she said 'I got your message, sorry I didn't call you back I was not answering my phone cause I had a lot to get done and just wanted to focus without interuptions'. I didnt think much of it at the moment but I got to thinkin about it and was a little pissed it doesnt take that much time to call someone back. Well I decided not to call her the next weekend cause I figured the ball is in her court I've called twice I think that should show I'm interested in seeing her and if she is interested in seeing me she would call. We'll there was no call and then again this weekend there was no call either and I was wondering if I should make one last attempt today(weekend being Sun, Mon, Tue as those are the days off we share) or if I should just chalk this one up as another failure. I'd hate to give up so easily cause this girl is amazing.

 

Well to get around to the thread title I was wondering if to avoid this situation in the future I should move things along faster... the first couple times we hung out weren't really 'dates' per se, we had a coffee and went for a walk etc. There hasn't been any kind of intimate contact thus far because I am very shy and just taking the step of asking her out is hard so trying to move things along faster is extremely difficult but I kind of think that maybe she feels I am not interested due to my lack of intimacy or maybe by some freak chance she actually moves slower than me. I don't want her to think I have stopped calling because i was was just lookin for a booty call and decided to move on cause she wasn't it because that is so far from what I am looking for, but I also don't want to keep calling and appear desperate and pathetic.

 

I'm not sure what to do if this fails to become a relationship I don't know if I am capable of forming a relationship. It seems these days people want things to happen fast and I am just not comfortable with things happening fast. I want to take my time to get to know someone before the 'intimacy' happens.

 

I know a lot of people (most for that matter) who are hugging, kissing having sex etc after a few dates. For me to even get to a level of friendship with someone to be comfortable with hugging as a greeting I have to have known them for quite some time and they usually have to be the kind of person who initiates the 'hug greeting' because I won't.

 

Sorry this wasn't as short as I wanted it to be but it kind of changed from a "what should I do about this girl" thread to a "what should I do about my general situation" thread.

[Vet]

You really can't make situations like this move along faster. They go at the pace that is the result of the interest and time each party has. If she's busy and can't get back to you but once every couple of weeks, maybe she doesn't have a lot of time or maybe she's not interested. Unless she's kept up with you with her schedule, you have to assume she's not interested. Move on, and if she ever pops back up, then you can re-evaluate your situation then.

 

Also, I know this really isn't part of your question, but as a personal philosophy, I would never leave voice mails when I was dating. This is the world of cell phones and text messaging. For me, I felt that there's too many variables that can go wrong when I leave a voice mail; it was a lot easier for me to call, and if no answer, text what I had to say. Then it was in their court. No reply in a requisite amount of time, and I had to assume they weren't interested.