dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I was having a discussion with a friend. We've both dated a guy (not the same one) who was very sensitive. Now, most women seem to want a guy who's got some what of a sensitive side, but how sensitive is too sensitive. I dated a guy who cried maybe once a week about something... and some of those things I wouldn't have even shed a tear over. How would you feel about this?
espec10001 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Unbalanced. Too much weight on either side of emotion or logic will cause unbalance, and turbulence. Too much emotion, and logic will balance it out. Too much logic and emotion will balance it out. Wait until the man learns balance.
New Again Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I was having a discussion with a friend. We've both dated a guy (not the same one) who was very sensitive. Now, most women seem to want a guy who's got some what of a sensitive side, but how sensitive is too sensitive. I dated a guy who cried maybe once a week about something... and some of those things I wouldn't have even shed a tear over. How would you feel about this? Unless someone died or something...I am incredibly uncomfortable with ANY adult crying. Children cry because they don't have a better way to express themselves. That's fine. Sometimes I'll shed a tear or two over things like homeless people or abused animals, so maybe I'm a hypocrite.
carhill Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Probably a really good rule to learn is that the rule applies only to us. An application here would be to that anyone, including the OP, would be remiss in presuming that their perspective is going to be or is required to be the perspective of someone else. If a man's sensitivity or open displays of emotion make you uncomfortable, avoid him. Plenty of men in the world
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think most of the men on here are pretty sensitive...especially those who came on LS for a broken relationship. I once got a card from my ex that read 'you're the perfect male, horny yet sensitive'....
Vet Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think a lot of people equate sensitivity with weakness. Uncontrollable emotions to the point of crying every week is weakness, whether you're male or female. I think when most women say they want a "sensitive man", they really mean they want a man who is emotionally available. One who has emotions than extend beyond their basic needs of food, sex, and and sleep. Although I think there is a sub-sect of women that want a "sensitive man" in the way that they want to be the dominant force in the relationship.
New Again Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I don't think men are really all about sensitive women either. (Yes I'm generalizing.)
You'reasian Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I was having a discussion with a friend. We've both dated a guy (not the same one) who was very sensitive. Now, most women seem to want a guy who's got some what of a sensitive side, but how sensitive is too sensitive. I dated a guy who cried maybe once a week about something... and some of those things I wouldn't have even shed a tear over. How would you feel about this? Crying once a week is way too much, assuming you're telling us the truth. What were his circumstances?
Author dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Crying once a week is way too much' date=' assuming you're telling us the truth. What were his circumstances?[/quote'] Well there was a time his mom visited for having foot surgery in that city, then the next week post surgery. Then another week it'd be over something trivial. Like a small mistake made by him or something. Another time, he started crying over something I was dealing with, and it wasn't even a big deal. But most often, it was just little stuff, like things you'd think a 5 year old would cry over. Confrontation was either mean or crying with him. No balanced middle.
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I only cried 3 times in front of her. Once we were both just so in love we started crying....weird Second time my Aunty died Third time is when she left me No one wants a robot, but no one wants a wuss either
Thaddeus Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 There only four times when a man should cry: The loss of a parent, child or sibling The loss of a dog Getting a pube stuck in his zipper Watching re-runs of the immaculate reception One more would be if a Leafs fan sees his team with the Stanley Cup, but that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
Vet Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Well there was a time his mom visited for having foot surgery in that city, then the next week post surgery. Then another week it'd be over something trivial. Like a small mistake made by him or something. Another time, he started crying over something I was dealing with, and it wasn't even a big deal. But most often, it was just little stuff, like things you'd think a 5 year old would cry over. Confrontation was either mean or crying with him. No balanced middle. Sounds like he had emotional issues that extended way beyond being "sensitive". It doesn't sound like he was sensitive at all, in the way you're using the word in your first post.
New Again Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 There only four times when a man should cry: The loss of a parent, child or sibling The loss of a dog Getting a pube stuck in his zipper Watching re-runs of the immaculate reception One more would be if a Leafs fan sees his team with the Stanley Cup, but that's not gonna happen anytime soon. He can tear up if he gets something in his eye too right? Otherwise, replace immaculate reception with RANGERS with the Cup and I completely agree. I don't really think women should cry too much either, although my list for when women can cry (in front of others) would be a tad longer, by one or two items.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I was having a discussion with a friend. We've both dated a guy (not the same one) who was very sensitive. Now, most women seem to want a guy who's got some what of a sensitive side, but how sensitive is too sensitive. I dated a guy who cried maybe once a week about something... and some of those things I wouldn't have even shed a tear over. How would you feel about this?I think he'd be crying all the time, if I were dating him...
Author dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Well, yeah, there is obvious emotional issues. Mine was an extreme example. So my question still stands, how much sensitivity is too much. Where does everyone draw the line? Girls, do you like a guy who will watch chick flicks, and get a little choked up?
Author dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I think he'd be crying all the time, if I were dating him... :lmao:
loveslife Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I was having a discussion with a friend. We've both dated a guy (not the same one) who was very sensitive. Now, most women seem to want a guy who's got some what of a sensitive side, but how sensitive is too sensitive. I dated a guy who cried maybe once a week about something... and some of those things I wouldn't have even shed a tear over. How would you feel about this? I think it depends on the type of person you get along with, regardless of gender. Would you be friends with a girl who's like that? I personally have a low threshold for whiney people. But I'm not sure what the relationship is between sensitive and whiney and weak. Generally, I tend to get along best with stronger types. But that doesn't mean they have no sensitivity. Sorry, guess I'm having trouble quantifying all this.
39388 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 There only four times when a man should cry: The loss of a parent, child or siblingThe loss of a dogGetting a pube stuck in his zipperWatching re-runs of the immaculate receptionOne more would be if a Leafs fan sees his team with the Stanley Cup, but that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Crying is not something that can be easily controlled. I cried after I left the building after getting fired and when a relative got sick. I have never cried over a sports event. Your list is ridiculous.
Vet Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Crying is not something that can be easily controlled. I cried after I left the building after getting fired and when a relative got sick. I have never cried over a sports event. Your list is ridiculous. I think Thaddeus' list was a little tongue-in-cheek.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 There's something about a guy crying a bit too much that just puts me off. I can understand death and overly happy moments (but not like every other week happy moments). I like sensitivity in the way, that he doesn't mind talking about more emotional issues. Being able to express feelings and emotions in a healthy way.
New Again Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Crying is not something that can be easily controlled. I cried after I left the building after getting fired and when a relative got sick. I have never cried over a sports event. Your list is ridiculous. I'm sure some people are better at controlling the urge to cry than others. Some people are maybe less likely to feel like crying at all. I rarely feel like crying, and if I do I can control it pretty easily. In my adult life I really only recall crying when my grandfather, who helped raise me, died, once when I was super stressed about money and grad school and life, and once after I was attacked on the street.
39388 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think Thaddeus' list was a little tongue-in-cheek. The immaculate reception thing was, but I'm not sure the whole list was. Men are very different from each other and a one size fits all on when to cry is ridiculous.
loveslife Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 How do you define sensitivity? Maybe you define it as someone who is easily and acutely affected by things. In which case, I don't think much sensitivity is in order. However, if you define it as being aware of ones surrounding then that's a different story. Maybe it's a balance you're looking for?
Author dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I'm sure some people are better at controlling the urge to cry than others. Some people are maybe less likely to feel like crying at all. I rarely feel like crying, and if I do I can control it pretty easily. In my adult life I really only recall crying when my grandfather, who helped raise me, died, once when I was super stressed about money and grad school and life, and once after I was attacked on the street. There are times when I have a harder time controlling my crying, but it's not something I like. I don't like tearing up all that much. I've also come to gain more control over it and venting my emotions in a better way. I used to starting crying over the slightest confrontation. But I'll admit it, my emotions used to be on a roller coaster.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 There's something about a guy crying a bit too much that just puts me off. I can understand death and overly happy moments (but not like every other week happy moments). I like sensitivity in the way, that he doesn't mind talking about more emotional issues. Being able to express feelings and emotions in a healthy way.A good communicator, doesn't need to be overly emotional, whereby he's forever sobbing away. It's probably because I don't cry very often, that it would bother me to be with someone like that. My guy isn't the sensitive type but a strong communicator, so it works well for both of us.
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