cat-power Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 known this guy for 2 years at work (higher management), I do projects on this refinary (3500people workt there)sometimes, so I come and go, for now i've been here a year and we've gotten to know eachother better. We don't work together. We see eachother on the units by chance or I will once a month step into his office to catch up, usually talk for an hour or so, he always kisses me, and generally will touch my arm or grab my hand, take a hair out of my face, even outside at any opportunity. If I need something, he fixes it, like 3 wks ago I had an accident and wasnt able to ride a bike (to get around the refinary I make about 25kms a day !) so he lent me his scooter to get around...I've had it for 3 wks now, he rides his bike:D He will fire questions at me I don't see coming (personal ones like; why aren't you married or seeing someone) and I try hard not to go into natural defense mode, but hey ! I'd respond much better with a glass of wine in my hands:rolleyes: Last week i had to put one of my cats down, and my make-up job convinced every other man on the refinary, except him. He kissed me, took my face in his hands, said some wise words and hugged me. After the hug he held on to me putting his other hand just above my stomach, we stood there like forever, until we both realised someone could come in. I know he's 58, i'm 38 (not sure he knows my age, but people usually give me 32 at the most).......now the puzzling thing from my end is he's had my phonenr for half a year now, but hasn't used it yet. Lately our encounters have become more physical but....wtf is he waiting for ???!!! could the age difference be holding him back ? or is he just being nice to me ?
Hkizzle Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 He definitely hasn't friendzoned you. Friend zone doesn't apply to people getting kissed and guys sticking their hands on them in a sexual manner. Maybe he's just shy about closing? Or doesn't see commitment later down the line and doesn't want to hurt the girl? I've done what this guy's done. Flirted with girls I knew I wouldn't commit to, and when I realize the girl isn't up for something purely sexual I back off, simply because if I have sex with the girl she would get hooked. Not saying this is his reason, but could be a possibility.
Tony427 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 You said he is upper management... I am assuming he doesn't want to risk his job by hooking up with a co-worker and he is waiting for you to initiate so he doesn't get in trouble. I could be wrong because I don't know about the policies etc at your workplace but that would be my best guess. As for being friendzoned... definitely not, most people I know don't touch friends so affectionately and imo if this is happening at work it seems a bit inapropriate to me, but I could just be being a bit of a prude.
Author cat-power Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Thanks for the replies guys ! He's divorced a couple of years ago. Even before things got personal, certain statements (asking for my opinion) makes me fairly sure he's a one woman guy and not a player- but he is well liked and kind to everyone. There is no policy about dating co-workers, and really were not working for the same company, technically speaking he is my "client" but not on this project. I will be moving to another site in 2 months anyway, so no hassle. Today was a repeat of last week, I brought back his scooter and he wanted me to keep it. He knows i've had a rough time this year, though I never told him the full extend. But he said he'd always be there for me etc. etc. we kissed and hugged again, even more intense. I go all shy at those moments because i'm not used to anyone treating me (and reading me !!!) this way. Suppose I led the horse to water, now make him drink- I'll see if I can make myself even more clearer this week (omg i'm gonna have to SPELL IT OUT) for me, this is as clear as I get
Hkizzle Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 It's not hard for women to lead hose to water......... If women wanted sex they can get it a lot easier than men. The issue is what you want after.
Author cat-power Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 It's not hard for women to lead hose to water......... . Trust me....for me it is ! not because of looks because i've been reasonably blessed with that. You say "once bitten, twice shy" but i've been bitten like 20times, and i'm not shy...i'm terrified!
Hkizzle Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 haha, well I'm just saying for women that want it and not shy. It's much easier for women to get men to have sex than the other way around. The hard part is to get someone to fall in love and commit.
Author cat-power Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 mmm...apparantly he came into our offices today (has absolutely no business there) something about people not wearing their helmets when walking around outside the offices.....(usually one would notify the safety dept. and have them deal with it.) But real managers that "walk the talk" do this themselves. But I came back from the site, just when he came out of our offices, so I stopped, he came up to me, grabbed my hands and told me he'd told my manager to reinforce the site regulations:o said he had to go to give a presentation, said he'd see me. I had no excuse or time to step into his office for the pas to days...but i'll make time (and an excuse) tomorrow !
c92081 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 cute sounds the opposite of friendzone to me too -- go go go! (only thing i would have to offer is to not extend your emotions and feelings past what he commits to) he obviously has feelings for you, so like above, and like you are doing, no harm in spelling those out but the big stuff, later... once he FinallyGETS-it and is 'with-you' - id suggest steadyness in that department peace out and good luck!
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