NoIDidn't Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Its easy to discount the study as useless just because it was college students. You guys don't give college students any credit. There is a reason for the joke that the best "babe magnet" is a "wedding ring". I know the study didn't mention marriage, but marriage is a form of attachment, so I think the association is valid.
freestyle Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I don`t know if it`s the norm, but I think that catty female competitiveness does come into play, I`ve seen it. There are some women who get an ego boost from usurping the attention of an attached man.
Phateless Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Interesting article: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17619-its-true-all-the-taken-men-are-best.html The highlights: The PUAs refer to this as "social proof" or "preselection." Google those two terms, the idea (however illogical) does make sense. I'm not saying I agree with it, I'm just saying that the psychology behind it fits.
westernxer Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Its easy to discount the study as useless just because it was college students. You guys don't give college students any credit. Because they don't deserve it. LOL
angie2443 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Because they don't deserve it. LOL LOL. I remember when I was in college. You're right. They don't deserve it- at least most of them.
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Because they don't deserve it. LOL I wasn't one of those *kinds* of college students. I didn't go to a party school and don't know if the school that did the study is a party school. The reason that I give them the benefit of the doubt is because they haven't yet started the lying that's so common of adults over the age of 25 because of "what people would think" of them. I could be wrong, and I may be wrong, but I think that college students are more honest than those of us further out from them. Call it the beauty of naivete? But, yeah, I get that some college students don't deserve it. LOL
westernxer Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I could be wrong, and I may be wrong, but I think that college students are more honest than those of us further out from them. Call it the beauty of naivete? That is true. I remember. LOL
angie2443 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 The reason that I give them the benefit of the doubt is because they haven't yet started the lying that's so common of adults over the age of 25 because of "what people would think" of them. I don't think adults over 25 lie more than those under 25. I think they are much more likely to know when and what to keep private. I also know that many under 25 act and talk more out of impulse than older people do. Their brains are not fully developed (this happens in the early, mid twenties) and they do not always have the life experience to know that what they are about to say or do isn't wise. It would not suprise me that that 22 year old college girl thinks that the now attatched 24 year old would be a good catch for her. She knows that the relationship might very well not be solid yet and also knows ( or think she knows) that the attatched man wants a relationship. Maybe the girl he's with now is not "the one". Maybe she is. Anyways, I think it's good for younger people to play the field. It gives them time to grow and maybe know how to make a relationship work before making a major commitment.
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I don't think adults over 25 lie more than those under 25. I think they are much more likely to know when and what to keep private. I also know that many under 25 act and talk more out of impulse than older people do. Their brains are not fully developed (this happens in the early, mid twenties) and they do not always have the life experience to know that what they are about to say or do isn't wise. It would not suprise me that that 22 year old college girl thinks that the now attatched 24 year old would be a good catch for her. She knows that the relationship might very well not be solid yet and also knows ( or think she knows) that the attatched man wants a relationship. Maybe the girl he's with now is not "the one". Maybe she is. Anyways, I think it's good for younger people to play the field. It gives them time to grow and maybe know how to make a relationship work before making a major commitment. The bolded line is exactly what I meant about them lying less. Not that they tell less lies, just that they aren't emotionally mature enough to know when to hold back some personal opinions. That's why I think this study is less biased than a study of over 25 folks. The under 25 crowd doesn't know when they've said too much and are much to proud to ever consider taking it back. This is that naivete I am talking about. LOL
samspade Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 This attitude makes no sense to me. The stamp of approval from another nameless/faceless woman is like jumping off a bridge without a bungie cord. What women do and what makes sense are usually two different things. Experience and observation has taught me that women usually want what other women want or have. A man with a girlfriend or wife has instant "proof" of value to other females. Most women will deny this, of course, just like many men will pretend that "looks aren't important." This does not mean that a man with a woman on his arm will automatically make your 'gina wet, or give you an itch that only he can scratch. However, all things being equal, it will give this man greater value over a single man. This cuts both ways - it can be a tragic irony for a man who worked hard to get a girlfriend, only to find he is attracting more women now that he is "taken" than he ever did as a single guy. This is indeed what PUA's call "social proof," and I believe it is valid. Part of it may be self-fulfilling, though...a man might be more confident if he has female company than if he is alone. To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the need for thought. Some of you who so blithely dismiss science by wrapping it in quotes need to work on your critical thinking skills. I've found that many people attack a scientific study because the findings are in conflict with their ego and self-importance. It would be great if the game of love and mating were a fair one, but our biological imperatives have made it much more competitive and cut throat than that. Some of us accept this and operate knowing what we know; others choose fairy tales and Hollywood scripts for their truth and are more often than not left heartbroken and bitter. I suppose this is why the PUA is so often attacked by women and men alike...he employs a learned technology that helps him get laid early and often, and as such he has upended several romantic myths...which doesn't sit well with our more superstitious side. In any case, if you want to disregard science, go ahead - the rest of us will embrace it and use it to our advantage. Good luck.
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 In any case, if you want to disregard science, go ahead - the rest of us will embrace it and use it to our advantage. Good luck. If men really did embrace this science, they would either buy a wedding band a wear it whether married or not OR they would ask a female friend to pretend to be their GF to attract interested women. LOL
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