utterer of lies Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Interesting article: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17619-its-true-all-the-taken-men-are-best.html The highlights: The most striking result was in the responses of single women. Offered a single man, 59 per cent were interested in pursuing a relationship. But when he was attached, 90 per cent said they were up for the chase. Men were keenest on pursuing new mates, but weren't bothered whether their target was already attached or not. Attached women showed least interest and were slightly more drawn to single men.
Thaddeus Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Yes, I saw this reported in a newspaper a little while ago. Perhaps I should buy a cheap wedding ring at a pawn shop somewhere before I got out next time!
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 This attitude makes no sense to me. The stamp of approval from another nameless/faceless woman is like jumping off a bridge without a bungie cord.
Taramere Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It makes no sense to me either. If I'm interested in a man, the first thing I want to know is whether or not he's attached. If he's attached then I lose interest. As for needing another woman's stamp of approval on a man...I don't think so. The only stamp of approval that matters to me is my own. I wonder how much depends on whether or not the woman in question comes from a broken home.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 The only time I ever trust anyone's opinion about a man, is if that person is someone I like, respect and trust, overall. This opinion must be about an unattached man.
Taramere Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Burkley and Parker speculate that single women may be more drawn to attached men because they've already been "pre-screened" by other women and found to be satisfactory as a mate, whereas single men are more of an unknown quantity. So they're suggesting that it corresponds with being risk-averse. Or... Apart from the explanation of "pre-screening", another possibility, she says, is that in US society, women are socialised to be competitive, so they derive self-esteem by mate poaching from rival women. Maybe a bit of both. I think there's probably something in it. My most attractive friends have often been the ones who experience other women cracking onto their guy right in front of them. It's interesting that the study says married women showed a slight preference for single men. So maybe the married women are more liable to want the thrill and challenge of an "unknown quantity" whereas the single women are just craving security and stability with the "pre-screened" man. I must have a husband I didn't know about.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Here's what I've noticed about both genders, by observing this on LS. The alphas source out the "hotties" and the betas, gammas, zetas then dog pile on the men and women who've been sourced out, to compete.
Spark1111 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think it speaks to the gender differences. A woman wants a confidant and secure man, a good provider, a kind and loving father. By virtue of being in a long-term committed relationship, the man demonstrates he has these characteristics already in place, or so a woman assumes! These are less obvious in a single man, from a woman's perspective. Single men are, and should be, unproven in many of these areas....more of a risk, or trial and error for women to pursue. When men are attracted to a woman, I do not think they are evaluating whether she would make a good mother. However, when they choose a Life partner, they do, or they should. So, does that mean that all the best women are also taken??? I mean, just asking.....
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 By virtue of being in a long-term committed relationship, the man demonstrates he has these characteristics already in place, or so a woman assumes! This is another component that floors me. If someone can be "stolen", they can also be "stolen" from you. What kind of megalomaniac believes they can hold onto someone who's so easily distracted?
Author utterer of lies Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 This is another component that floors me. If someone can be "stolen", they can also be "stolen" from you. What kind of megalomaniac believes they can hold onto someone who's so easily distracted? From the comments of the original article: If they are in fact pre-screening and they succeed in uncoupling the relationship, aren't they just selecting for men without loyalty or real commitment? Ah yes, but then the 'I can change him' factor comes into play..... :lmao:
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 From the comments of the original article: :lmao:Sheer nutbarness!
OWoman Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 So, does that mean that all the best women are also taken??? Yup - I'm married...
jennie-jennie Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I think it speaks to the gender differences. A woman wants a confidant and secure man, a good provider, a kind and loving father. By virtue of being in a long-term committed relationship, the man demonstrates he has these characteristics already in place, or so a woman assumes! These are less obvious in a single man, from a woman's perspective. Single men are, and should be, unproven in many of these areas....more of a risk, or trial and error for women to pursue. When men are attracted to a woman, I do not think they are evaluating whether she would make a good mother. However, when they choose a Life partner, they do, or they should. So, does that mean that all the best women are also taken??? I mean, just asking..... You do know that when men are looking at women's hips and breasts they are subconciously judging her breeding and nursing abilities? When they look at her general appearance, they are subconciously looking at how healthy she is, for the same reasons.
Darth Vader Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I don't know about the study, But, I've had more than one married woman flirt and/or hit on me. I of course exited stage left or right depending on the direction needed for me to get out of there. By the way, what's with the married women?
jj33 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think that once people get past a certain age, there is a stigma if they arent married. Why arent they married? Whats wrong with them? which would explain that bias. IRL I think the numbers come out differently. I think most single women would prefer to fall in love with a single man than a married man.
Darth Vader Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think that once people get past a certain age, there is a stigma if they arent married. Why arent they married? Whats wrong with them? which would explain that bias. IRL I think the numbers come out differently. I think most single women would prefer to fall in love with a single man than a married man. I think your stigma theory is true, to a point.
westernxer Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think that once people get past a certain age, there is a stigma if they arent married. I love having a stigma... it beats having a disease. LOL
NoIDidn't Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I love having a stigma... it beats having a disease. LOL Not if your stigma is because of a disease. LOL
Lizzie60 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Another useless "scientific" study. LOL Totally agree..
Lizzie60 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think that once people get past a certain age, there is a stigma if they arent married. Why arent they married? Whats wrong with them? which would explain that bias. IRL I think the numbers come out differently. I think most single women would prefer to fall in love with a single man than a married man. Yeah.. but sometimes.. divorced men will say they are single..which is true.. but they've been married.. and sometimes just out on the 'market' again...
LakesideDream Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Personal experiance agrees with the study. I find it curious as well. In the past here, (and friends) have said that women were always willing to try to "upgrade". I don't know whether I believe it, however the study seems to support it. Personally I'm tired of all the games. I'm way to old to suit up and go out in the field to play the game.
delajoonal Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 im with lakeside on this one... personal experience has shown that YES, this happens... in my case it was my H, before we got married... it was an incident i will not soon forget...but yes, the study is very true.
MadDriver Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 The study does not mention marriage at all!! Reading comprehension, people!!! They are comparing attached (i.e. girlfriend/boyfriend) vs. unattached college students, not single vs married. Study found that unattached girls were significantly more attracted to a male whose profile said he was attached, rather than single. It would be very, very interesting for them to do a follow-up study with the male profile being "married".
jj33 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Good catch Mad Driver. A study done among college students where someone may only have been attached for 3 weeks is a whole lot different than looking at whether single women go after married men. As Lizzie said, another useless study...
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