JL911 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Day 10 NC...I still miss her every single second of my day...The void is still there and painful...I still cry from time to time sometimes I try to make myself cry... I am still confiding in people about this and talking to people and still getting my mixed signals of how she will be back, and how she lost something so good, and how I'll be a better person when she comes around. While I would like to believe that, I dont feel right now she is missing me like I am missing her. In fact I am thinking that she broke up with me due to interest with another guy and probaly the fact that I was so weak at the end trying to grab at straws to keep the relationship going. Question is...How long will that last until his true colors come out and where will I be? Its really a sad thought, but I realize that it is not really my concern...Does that mean that right now she is not coping with us breaking up?...I wish I could magically be over this or atleast know how my 10 days of NC have been effecting her.... I have completely removed myself from the situation and from her life. I dont know what that is going to do for me or if it will have a major impact on her, but really...What else can I do? Hang on her every word? Hope? Pray? Cry? Beg? Is it me or is that sounding very stupid that you have to Beg and cry to the person you love for them to realize how you feel...You cannot change their mind... If you are a man in this situation my best advice is to...well..BE A MAN!! Take this on the chin, cry your tears in private, and walk away...AS HARD AS THAT SOUNDS...It is what you have to do for yourself, not to mention if you really care about this person and want to maybe try again, you can NOT sit there and PUSH PUSH PUSH on them. You are not desperate, you have qualities about you that ANY woman will find desirable. Pick yourself up, get it together, get out there, and take care of yourself... I went out last night with an old female friend. We both have some down luck with love and vented to one another and ate some cheesecake. It was nice to get out of the house for a few hours and be reassured by someone that she in fact lost a great guy...Part of me hopes she comes to her senses and figures that out, another part of me hopes she stays away forever and doesnt try to pat her ego with me. My thoughts are wandering away from my ex and now trying to focus in on myself. I am dieting and losing weight, trying to enjoy some time for me. I am in no way shape or form ready for another relationship as serious as the one I just got out of. However, I know I need to come out of this a stronger person and a better man... Im 25 and a great person, with great morals even if I was a pushover at the end and acted like a wuss. I fell in love before, I will do it again... Right now I dont think I could take her back with open arms. The hurt, the torment, the torture I have been through is just so great. Thinking back on the past month and how brutal it was prior to the break up. I dont know what I would say if she told me she made a terrible mistake and wanted me back. Even beating down my door probaly would not be enough for me at this point. The trust and seal of our love has been broken, I feel so betrayed by a person I once thought I knew so very well. I can say she is young, I can say she is confused, but she threw away someone who was preparing himself for a life with her...and for what something that might not work?...It is almost unforgivable... I do believe she acted in some haste with her decision, and like some of the female opinions on here, I do not think that this was well thought out on her part...I think it was a very quick decision that she probaly is going to regret once any Ill feelings of me pass, or she realizes that this person she is now with, is not what she thought...Then what?!? I did leave the door open for her prior to going NC. I sent out a quick email to her just letting her know that I was acting a little crazy because of the break up and apologized to her for that. I told her that I accepted and respected her decision and that maybe someday we can be friends...But that was 10 days ago...
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It will usually take alot longer than 10 days for you to feel ok with it. I am at over 2 months. I've not heard a peep from her camp since our last conversation. I honestly don't care too. You'll get to a point where the pain is there but bearable. I stil think of her, but it is fleeting, and bearable...barely. You will be ok, just keep pushing forward. It's like a battlefield. It's won by those who percevere (sp?)
Author JL911 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I guess part of me still thinks she will be back and I know I cannot think that way... I wish her and I could have talked this out...Its just a huge disappointment...
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It always is. I didn't want to know. I just didn't. But it happened. People change when you least expect it. We were a month from engagement. But, you know what, you just have to do to them what they did to you- turn and look the other way. I am not saying burn any bridges, but chop down her pedastal a little bit. Look for flaws. It helps. My ex was lazy, passive, and indecisive. In all honesty, it's helped me realise alot about myself, and what I want. And what I want is NOT what she became. Sometimes you need to use self reflection as a tool to get over harm and damage done. It just gets worse before it gets better. You're going to constantly wonder why she hasn't called. But that will fade. Then the anger will settle in. That's where I am at now. Angry, bitter, resentful. But I know it will fade, And I'll be whole again. Don't Crack! If you contact her you will be dissappointed and back at square one. Another thing. Stop counting days. As the number grows you will get closer and closer to breaking NC. Just let time pass and realise the steps you will take emotionally, and that you will be OK.
adamt Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Just fill up your time and get busy so you have little time to sit and think about the ex. I had a lazy sunday and I ended up thinking about her quite a bit. Do things to take your mind of them. Read before going to sleep so she is not the last thing you think about each day. Do physical stuff to tire you out. I'm over 2 months down the line and not heard a peep from her. I do feel like contacting her but the thought of how i felt in the first 2 weeks of the break up stops me from doing it. I just dont want to risk goign back to square one
trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 by the sounds of it you will need awhile, months probably before things ease up. im struggling with it myself, trying not to count the days. i am beginning to think it takes working on yourself to stop thinking about someone. it is hard. its like you have to actively force yourself to learn new ways of thinking even tho its the last thing you want to do. i am not one of those lucky people who are just completely annoyed iwth someone and dont want ot hear from them. but i have been reading lots of posts were it seems once you go a few months without contact you start feeling indifferent. after awhile you will start feeling better about yourself. it will get better with time. that i promise. but it just takes time.
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