joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Recently had a new female housemate move in (just a couple weeks after my ex left me). At first she had to endure my whining and complaining but would always be really positive towards me. Lately, she's been saying a few things that have got me wondering - asking how the single life is treating me, making a point of hugging me around her friends at a bbq, and last week she asked by text if I wanted to rent a dvd and have a night in (our house has no communal space, so it'd have to be in mine/her room). I was in Prague at the time, so couldn't take up the offer, but I did respond by saying I'd definitely be up for it when I get back. Am I reading too much into it, or is she coming on to me even a bit??
monkey00 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Recently had a new female housemate move in (just a couple weeks after my ex left me). At first she had to endure my whining and complaining but would always be really positive towards me. Lately, she's been saying a few things that have got me wondering - asking how the single life is treating me, making a point of hugging me around her friends at a bbq, and last week she asked by text if I wanted to rent a dvd and have a night in (our house has no communal space, so it'd have to be in mine/her room). I was in Prague at the time, so couldn't take up the offer, but I did respond by saying I'd definitely be up for it when I get back. Am I reading too much into it, or is she coming on to me even a bit?? I say follow through with it and see what happens. You'll never know until you do.
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I wouldn't read too much into it. All things mentioned can very well easily be acts of friendship.
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I wouldn't read too much into it. All things mentioned can very well easily be acts of friendship. That's what I initially thought, but she's one of these girls who puts up a front around most people and when she's in a group, but around me she acts noticeably different, her voice even changes. Thing is, I'm happy being her friend and I don't really see her as any more - so it can't be my mind playing tricks on me surely?
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Maybe she just feels more comfortable around you? With my previous male roommate, I put up a huge front, because I did not feel comfortable around him. My currant roommate is very different. I'm more relaxed around him. And I don't see him as anything more then a friend.
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 You're probably right, I have always been good at making genuinely platonic female friends, I think the only reason I would see this as any different is due to my only recently coming out of a LTR.
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Just get her really really drunk and see what sge says.... Ok that was a joke. She could just be being friendly, but again, go with your gut..
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 You're probably right, I have always been good at making genuinely platonic female friends, I think the only reason I would see this as any different is due to my only recently coming out of a LTR. I'm not quite sure why you coming out of a LTR would make you think she wants more from you.
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I'm not quite sure why you coming out of a LTR would make you think she wants more from you. Confusion? Lack of judgement? Forgetting how to read signs from the opposite sex? A need to fill the void? The need for a confidence boost? ect ect
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Confusion? Lack of judgement? Forgetting how to read signs from the opposite sex? A need to fill the void? The need for a confidence boost? ect ect Oooh so you're in a way wanting her to want you so you feel better about yourself. I thought you meant she wants you because you're freshly single. That could very well be. Just stay friendly and keep it at that.
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Oooh so you're in a way wanting her to want you so you feel better about yourself. I thought you meant she wants you because you're freshly single. That could very well be. Just stay friendly and keep it at that. Having thought about it, I think that's more the reason, I think there's still a wee bit of the post break-up madness still left in my head. You are right, and I will. do you like her? Not nearly as much as the Lily Allen lookalike I met in Camden last week!
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 do you like her? Hooking up with a roomie is NEVER a good idea!
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Hooking up with a roomie is NEVER a good idea! I can imagine - I've done coworker, boss, ex's friend and bandmate before, so I'm fed up of treading on un-treadable ground!
Vet Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Hooking up with a roomie is NEVER a good idea! I think it depends a lot on the people involved. I think starting a relationship with someone who was previously a roommate who you are still living with is a bad idea. Feelings can get hurt, and you're stuck living with them. However, I think if both people are rational adults that know what the situation is, sex between them can be fun, beneficial, and interesting.
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think it depends a lot on the people involved. I think starting a relationship with someone who was previously a roommate who you are still living with is a bad idea. Feelings can get hurt, and you're stuck living with them. However, I think if both people are rational adults that know what the situation is, sex between them can be fun, beneficial, and interesting. And how often are you going to get two people who are on the exact same page in this situation? Let's be honest, someone will almost always be more invested and want more. I personally would not hook up with a roommate. Living with them, having sex with them, sharing house hold stuff... it would start feeling like a built in relationship, and make finding a guy very hard on me, not to mention, I could see myself getting jealous over other girls...
Author joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Just a wee update - tonight she cooked me dinner, we had a few beers and laid on her bed watching a film. Completely platonic and I'm thankful that I have a housemate I can have a laugh with, regardless of their gender!
dreamergrl Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Very cool! It is nice, and I never realized it until my newest roommate.
runner Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 good roomies are hard to find. i'd recommend not 'screwing' it up.
kizik Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Just a wee update - tonight she cooked me dinner, we had a few beers and laid on her bed watching a film. Completely platonic and I'm thankful that I have a housemate I can have a laugh with, regardless of their gender! Is your penis functional? I guess I don't understand why you would NOT want to hit on this chick. She likes you. Plain and simple. But apparently you are not even flirting with her? OK, yes, you live with her, and people here have already said basically, "Don't sh*t where you sleep." But dude. C'mon. Life is short. Don't ever let me catch you LAYING on a BED with a CUTE GIRL and NOT trying to kiss her, EVER again.
Author joseffrost Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Is your penis functional? As far as I am aware, though it's been a while...
runner Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Life is short. which is exactly why one shouldn't spend too much time picking up the pieces. the OP should at least have an exit strategy in place before he leaps--i.e., another place to live.
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