Darren09 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I broke no contact saturday night with my ex, she initiated contact and i responded oh dear. We stayed up all night talking on msn online and she told me that she was in love with me and that she just didnt know what to do at all. Anyway i took al this in what she had said to me and she said she would text me the next day...... the next day comes and nothing.. apparantly she is not feeling very well and that she just needs to sleep. All day hmmm my gut is telling me this is abit of a lie... So now its monday and i called because it was bugging me so bad and she answered and was cold with me so awkward so i just said well is it best if i stop speaking to you and she responded yes so i put phone down. I new that i shoudlnt break contact but am scared that she has so much control over me like that. I really honestly believed that she loved me and missed me that she just couldnt do it anymore. but then to pretend she was feeling ill then next day am sorry but nobody sleeps like 24 hours straight. i really dont understand why she contacted me saturday. feel so stupid now.......
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 She wanted to see if you were still available to her, bro. Cut her off like a diseased limb and heal.
greenparrot Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Darren I too have fallen into her already like 3 times with her telling me she misses me and loves me... This usually goes on at midnight, so I answer her thinking "finally this time its for real", next day she doesnt call me.. nothing.. I think after a while of this, it has helped me just move one. She keeps hurting me, therefore when she contacts me I dont answer anymore. If they wanted back, they would try harder, they would do what we did. You already told her how you felt. She knows it, next time dont answer her.
DustySaltus Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 If they wanted back, they would try harder, they would do what we did. You already told her how you felt. She knows it, next time dont answer her. Agreed, she would SMOTHER you if she really wanted to get you back. Each day you grow a little further apart and she knows that. But at the same time she has no idea what she wants so she tries to keep the distance from growing larger by staying in contact with you.
Beeotch Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 To delve into the mind of these people...how interesting would that be. I have spent months upon months analyzing my ex's actions, words, etc...all the little positive things he has done that gave me hope and I'm like SCREW IT! All I have are speculations...I do not know for a fact the way he feels. That is not up to me. I cannot live my life on clues.... Therefore the only thing to do is to remain in No Contact and to RUN LIKE HELLLLLL away from your ex. Get as far away from them as mentally, emotionally and physically possible. Don't sit around in limbo playing the analysis game.... I have only recently decided FIRMLY that that game is killllling me. I have intuitions about things and I have thoughts about things...but it is a tiring process of going over things time and again trying to put the pieces together. That changes NOTHING. Being together again or getting truthful answers are actions..actions that my ex has to put in motion..not me. Run away from her....whatever emotional confusion she is going through supposedly...that is her business. Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Author Darren09 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Yeah i think your right i have got to run away from this BS! just everytime i think of her i have this hope inside of me cause shes come back to me before? am so confused i really have no idea whats going on in her head but god i need to stop thinking about every little thing. she hurt me wether she realises it or not. Its always about her when we talk i dont think she realises how hurt i am seen as i let all my emotion out behind closed doors. it so easy for people to say just forget her cause its not possible but i aint textin the bitch no more shes left me so i aint chasing no more am just gunna accept that shes gone and try n deal with this now. its just over a month now since the breakup. do you guys think NC is definately the answer? even if she texts and calls or turns up at my house?? should i just seriously ignore this now?
greenparrot Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Darren I felt it too, I went through hell for 3 months chasing her, not chasing her, breaking NC, not answering. My conclusion is she doesnt know what she wants, wants me as plan B a friend if all goes bad. She could care less or doesnt even have a fact of how much I am in pain because of her confusing me. So yes, NC is the best for YOU. Not for her, for you. Im holding strong, yesterday she texted twice, saying: I trully do miss you, call me. and then: I though you were going to say yes to talking face to face with me, anyway good luck.
DustySaltus Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 NC is definetly the answer. You need to let yourself heal. Don't get into an emotional see-saw battle with her. I've been there and it's PAINFUL. She's a mess, just leave it alone.
Author Darren09 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Darren I felt it too, I went through hell for 3 months chasing her, not chasing her, breaking NC, not answering. My conclusion is she doesnt know what she wants, wants me as plan B a friend if all goes bad. She could care less or doesnt even have a fact of how much I am in pain because of her confusing me. So yes, NC is the best for YOU. Not for her, for you. Im holding strong, yesterday she texted twice, saying: I trully do miss you, call me. and then: I though you were going to say yes to talking face to face with me, anyway good luck. Cheers bud, so do you totally ignore her when she trys to make contact? do you even consider replyin or do you just delete the text?
greenparrot Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 well she always contacts me the 3rd day of NC, and when I dont answer she calls me from another phone, etc. Stupidly I always answered her. But she just cant make up her mind, its like she doesnt care, she doesnt talk about it when I ask her what is up. So yesterday once again she contacted me, I decided to just not reply as I have been doing. You too have to do that, its not giving up, its simply not inflicting pain over you. I find it when you start thinking on what to write, and the possibilities, it gets harder. So when she calls you or text dont analize, simply read and nc. Stay strong dude.
Nedved Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 NC is a nightmare at the start but its the best way your gonna heal mate. She's playing a cruel game with you and letting you down last saturday was only the start of it if you stay in contact. Everytime you' speak to her you'l be disapointed and left hanging on. Your basically chasing a person thats just not there anymore. She's in a different place now and if she truly wanted you back she'd let you know. You have to prepare yourself to the possibilty that you might not hear from her ever again. Frightening is'nt it? Its a horrible thought and i'm in the same situation but what can we do? A few months Nc and you'l be in a different place yourself trust me. I've had almost 3 months NC and although i'm still hurt the sting is'nt as bad now. It gets better and you'l learn to live without her. take every day as it comes mate and if she dose make contact really resist the urge to reply. I know its hard but your better off getting the pain of NC over and done with now.
wow123 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I agree. I am in the same situation as greenparrot. I went NC for a month. We began talking and reconciling then she left again. 3 months of chasing her and I am back to NC. It only hurts more to stay in contact because it keeps hope alive. Go NC.
Author Darren09 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Thanks for all support you guys are showin. Its really making me think about not respondind when or if she trys to contact me. The way it is at the moment i really dont see her making contact again but you never know... they always come sniffin round if they are bored or whatever it is? its like a ****ing game isnt it. If i can stay strong enough not to reply that will be it i will crack this no contact!!! its only when she doesnt contact me i can stick to it! so if you guys have any tips of really how to resist that temptation ad be greatfull.
Nedved Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 She may come sniffing around but then again she may not so you really need to just tell yourself its over and that'l you'l prob never hear from her again. for me that was the hardest part. If she dose make contact after a while it will be hard but try and resist the natural urge to reply and think back to how she hurt you last weekend by pretending she was sick and leaving you in limbo all day saturday. really focus on that darren and remember how angry,frustrated and down you were and ask yourself do you really need that? because it'l happen again. She did'nt have your best interests at heart and believe me you'l get more satisfaction not replying to her. I know its hard but if/when she makes contact focus on the pain she caused and not her good points and you'l find it easier to give in to the temptation. as i said you'l thank yourself down the line.
wow123 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Well....I have actually been shutting my phone off at night. It helps. I'm not waiting for a phone call and I don't get the urge to call because it's off. Try it.
Author Darren09 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Well....I have actually been shutting my phone off at night. It helps. I'm not waiting for a phone call and I don't get the urge to call because it's off. Try it. Yeah am willing to try anything so giving it ago. Do you switch it off before you go to bed or just on an evening in general. Then if she does try and call she may think av changed my number and stop all together. which would be great.
wow123 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I shut it off when I get home for the night. Whenever that may be. By 4 oclock sometimes. You won't sit there staring at the phone waiting for it to ring and you wont pick it up to text or call. Give it a try. Makes me feel a little bit better.
aboynamedmike Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I take it most of the people on this website are people who got dumped, but I'm actually the one who did the dumping, yet I still find myself unable to move on when I was so sure it was over. I told my ex to not contact me and I went on vacation without my phone for a week. I got back and had a text from her asking how my vacation was..i didn't respond. A few days later she texted me and I did respond, then we would text occasionally, and she would call me late at night (1am-4am), but i would always be sleeping(no voicemails). The one time I did pick up she was crying and telling me how she didn't understand why I broke up with her... I then told her to stop contacting me because it hurt me inside when we talked. I was so in love with her, but she just had no confidence in herself, and as hard as I tried she just never seemed to gain confidence. She would second guess everything I said like I was always lying to her, and I just got fed up. She texted me the other day asking "so when am i allowed to talk to you again?" I replied that I didn't want to be forced to ignore her, and that I'll see her when school starts.(we both go to the same college, but I wish we didn't) When I'm not around her I can move on much better, but when she's around I get sucked in almost. I'm telling myself not to go back to her, but idk how this semester will go with her around all the time....
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