Mydish1 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So I went on 3 dates with this girl, and each date went pretty well. The last date we had a makeout session and I walked her back to her place. Sometimes I pay for her, and sometimes we split the tab. Anyway I really don't know what happened, the last date with her was 4 days ago. I called her yesterday to set up a date, sometimes she doesn't pick up her phone so I just leave a vm. Usually she calls me back quickly. On our last date I suggested getting together over the weekend, she had an excuse but suggested next week...hence I called over the weekend to make plans for a date. She's never flakey as she always gets back to me or makes a counter-offer on dates. But this time around I'm stumped. I admit though, not talking to her in-between dates/going on dates more than once a week kind of makes me lose interest a bit. I wouldn't be surprised if the same happened to her. How long should I wait to give her a call again?
boogieboy Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 If shes getting flakey, your instinct is right. Dont call her. If she was interested, she would have called back by now.
BCCA Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I called her yesterday to set up a date, sometimes she doesn't pick up her phone so I just leave a vm. Usually she calls me back quickly. On our last date I suggested getting together over the weekend, she had an excuse but suggested next week...hence I called over the weekend to make plans for a date. She's never flakey as she always gets back to me or makes a counter-offer on dates. But this time around I'm stumped. She always called you back before, but hasnt this time, which means something changed. How long should I wait to give her a call again? You should lose her number. If you are hell bent on trying at least one more time, just make ONE more call in a couple days, and then immediately delete her number from your phone. If she was interested enough, she would call back. I'll be honest though, I'd be thinking of letting this go if it was me.
skjd1220 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It's possible that she was busy all day yesterday and wasn't free to call you back. I'd say that the ball is clearly in her court to call you back though. If she doesn't call tonight, that's pretty rude. I know the feeling of wanting to give it one more try. If you really want to, wait until Wednesday and only call her one more time. But remember, she got your message the first time and decided not to call you back. Even if she answers this time, is she worth the effort when she can't ring you back? Good luck!
BCCA Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It's possible that she was busy all day yesterday and wasn't free to call you back. I'd say that the ball is clearly in her court to call you back though. If she doesn't call tonight, that's pretty rude. I know the feeling of wanting to give it one more try. If you really want to, wait until Wednesday and only call her one more time. But remember, she got your message the first time and decided not to call you back. Even if she answers this time, is she worth the effort when she can't ring you back? Good luck! I used to be more apt to make another try, but honestly, in my entire life making that second attempt has never gotten me anywhere. Usually, they dont answer or return that one, either. This post is spot on, though - she knows you called, and chose not to call you back. What does that say? And it is rude, but its also par for the course. I have NEVER had a woman say sorry, they just arent interested. They ALL give you their number and act like they are down to hang out, then never call you back. Ive had so many calls go unreturned in the last 6 months that I should be used to it by now. lol
Author Mydish1 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Thanks all, you guys gave some really good replies. I actually texted her a couple of hours ago asking if she got my message. Still no response...feh go figure. What you guys are telling me, I knew it even before I made this post... but I went against my gut. I went on all these dates with this girl and it just felt so wasteful without trying one more time. I guess what aggravates me so much is why she let me makeout with her if she wasn't even interested. If she doesn't get back to me by today then I know to let this one go. Dating is frustrating and I've had nothing but flakey girls for the past year. The more I date and the more they flake and the more hopeless and down I get I don't even want to try/date anymore, it gets so discouraging to get my hopes up, put myself out there and have them bail for no reason or explanation.
BCCA Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 What you guys are telling me, I knew it even before I made this post 'Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didnt'. Its a famous quote, and spot-on. If she doesn't get back to me by today then I know to let this one go There is a very slim chance of her calling back, just assume its not going to happen. Dating is frustrating and I've had nothing but flakey girls for the past year. The more I date and the more they flake and the more hopeless and down I get I don't even want to try/date anymore, it gets so discouraging to get my hopes up, put myself out there and have them bail for no reason or explanation. Me and half of the guys here know exactly how you feel, but it wont change. Women are always going to be indirect and flakey, thats never going to change. You cant just buck the game, you have to learn how to play it or accept it for what it is. The bailing without a word thing really pisses me off, too. I cant believe that people do that, and just hope they never run into you again. Like, even in a big city, how many people are you going to avoid for the rest of your life? I guess its all about the right here and now, worry about later another time. Here is where Im at: I just want sex for the rest of the year. Im not even going to try dating, or call anyone who gives me their number. I know women arent going to like hearing this, but you all have come damn close to driving me crazy with mixed messages and drama. Now its my turn to just enjoy life and not worry about who does or doesnt like me. I cant deal with dating at the moment, it just doesnt seem like it used to be THIS bad.
Author Mydish1 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Me and half of the guys here know exactly how you feel, but it wont change. Women are always going to be indirect and flakey, thats never going to change. You cant just buck the game, you have to learn how to play it or accept it for what it is. I know and I've always told my friends that you have to stay proactive socially to meet people/girls. But each time I do meet a girl that I enjoy spending time with and think it could turn into something, and every time she flakes - it brings my spirit down. I used to go to clubs/bars every once in awhile, now rarely. Partially for the top reason, that it's a lousy place to meet women, and also because that scene has grown old. However it's getting tiring being single at the moment, because over half of my friends are in LTR and a few more just got into relationships this summer. As much as the bachelor life rocks, at the end of the day I just want to be with someone with the right qualities that appreciates me and what I have to offer, is that too much to ask? The bailing without a word thing really pisses me off, too. I cant believe that people do that, and just hope they never run into you again. Like, even in a big city, how many people are you going to avoid for the rest of your life? I guess its all about the right here and now, worry about later another time. I'm really glad I wasn't all that into her. I think of all the girls I've dated this past year, I've only had 3 tell me something along the lines that they weren't interested. Truth is I respect those women more than the ones that didn't say anything...who don't deserve my respect. Here is where Im at: I just want sex for the rest of the year. Im not even going to try dating, or call anyone who gives me their number. I know women arent going to like hearing this, but you all have come damn close to driving me crazy with mixed messages and drama. Now its my turn to just enjoy life and not worry about who does or doesnt like me. I cant deal with dating at the moment, it just doesnt seem like it used to be THIS bad. I'm with you on that, honestly though I don't think I'm going to be dating much anymore or even be proactive. I'm probably going to take a more laid-back passive approach to this whole thing and wait for the woman to ask me out/chase me. Have sex first and worry about the consequences later. The funny thing though is that since her, I don't really give a damn about any girl now. But then again maybe I just have baggage. No matter how hot or good looking they are, they don't appeal to me anymore. Strangely it seems like she's made me up my standards even more. And if the right girl wants to win me over, she's got to have one heck of a personality and be attractive to a certain degree.
Author Mydish1 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Wow. So she did call back late at night...but for another reason. She has my respect now...took her long enough. We thought each other was amazing and fun to hangout with but agreed that the chemistry wasn't there so thought it would be better to just be friends. She didn't like the idea of leaving me hanging and I told her I respected girls like that. Well there ya go that's a first one for me - to actually call me, instead of texting. Maybe I should've suggested a **** buddy relationship, but I know she doesn't want one with anyone, lol. Oh well, back to field!
stillafool Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I agree with you that she was at least honest and called you. Good Luck.
Recommended Posts