adamt Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 How useful are they? What do they do to help you heal? I ask this because here in the UK we dont use these sort of people very often unless you are looking for help to save a marriage. Seems quite popular option in the US. Is it a money drain? In the UK the most popular way people try to get over someone is to go out and get drunk with their friends a lot. Not always the best solution though.
earner Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 hey adamt, when i broke up with my gf I began to see a counsellor (and still do) once a week. Costs £35 per hour. I must admit it really did help me and made me see things in the relationship that were going wrong and made me realise things about my gf and her personality that I overlooked. After going to these sessions I began to see that our relationship wasnt working and it wasnt right for either of us. I wouldnt say they help you heal but it is good to get a non-biased opinion from somebody you do not know. Like my counsellor told me there is nothing they can do to stop the pain or you stop you from missing them - all they will advise is the usual keeping busy and excercising. Also the counselling will tend to look at you and how you acted in the relationship/your personality etc. It has really helped me and made me realise things about myslelf and the way I cated that I wasnt aware of. Its not for everyone but I say give it a go - what have you got to lose ? And that is exactly what I was doing ! Going out with mates and getting hammered every weekend and yeah it is fun but alcohol is a depressant and I would be in bits on Monday/Tuesday ! Hope this helps
brock9911 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Hey adam. i live in N.Y. and iv actually been seeing a therapist throughout my life. i stopped for a while, but now im back to seeing one. that and a psychiatrist. its all in how you feel. i personally think its easier to open up to a doctor than tell my perasonal feelings to a friend or family who might look at you differently. than again im a bit self consious. i dont know how health plans are over there, but i have coverage and it costs $20 for my copay. i think its worth it. its always good to talk and get stuff off your chest
SweetyBear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 My counseling has been a huge help to me. It's helping me to recognize why I react the way I do to some things and given me some tools to overcome those things. I grew up in a traumatic situation, though. I'd say even if you're just having difficulty understanding your own behavior or modifying your behavior, it might be of value. Like when you might obsess about your ex a little longer than what you feel comfortable with? I think it's good to understand yourself and make the changes you decide you need to.
selena_cat Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 couseling therapy is great,but you'll probably have to try different therapists before you click with the right one,good luck to you.
moo Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Hi. A therapist really helped me. She gave me lots of assignments to do so that I could process the breakup. She taught me deep breathing techniques and thought stopping using visual imagery. This type of therapy is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's very popular in the US. In some Universities...several of them provide therapy to the public for free or low cost. Some have two clinics- one for students and one for the public. There are also places that have sliding scales so they lower the fee for you if you can't afford it.
scienceguy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I started seeing a counselor/therapist a year after my break up with my most recent ex g/f. Usually I could bounce back in 4-8 months, but after a year, I was still stuck. Anyways, my experience has generally been positive, and if you're finding it hard to deal with your problems, it's a good thing to visit a counselor. After all, the person is an objective 3rd party who is also trained in dealing with this stuff as well. You will probably have to visit several counselors before you find one you "fit" with. As other posters have pointed out, your counselor/therapist cannot stop the pain. Personally, I'm still very wounded over the break up even though it has been two years. But your counselor will help you develop a lot of tools to deal with your problems, and this will prepare you for your next relationship. When my ex gf recently contacted me, I was able to put a stop to her crap because this time around I had a better idea of what I'm okay with, and I attribute that to going to my counselor.
Ilovecake Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I've been in therapy on and off for several years. Depending on the therapist it can be a wonderful experience. For me with the right counselor, it’s like talking to a mirror that talks back to me. Depending on their style of therapy it can be many different things, from delving into your childhood to seek out the root of your adult behavior and beliefs to just simply clarifying things for you. They just sort of help you put your thoughts in order and gain a different perspective on your feelings. It’s not for everyone; I know a lot of people that took absolutely nothing out of counseling. At first it seems to me like we really weren’t doing anything but then all of a sudden I just got these eureka moments and that’s when it really paid off.
Recommended Posts