Blyss Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 New to the boards..My story is very complicated...I will try to be brief...my ex/best friend and I were together off and on for the past 9 years..I was cheated on by the ex...we tried to get back together several times over the years, but it never worked because the infidelity was never dealt with properly. The last time we were committed and in an relationship was in 2006. We have since attempted to maintain a friendship (w/o taking any space or distance from each other for more than a month at a time). We both still had feelings for each other...the ex would admit it occasionally, I would not because I didn't want to take the chance of getting hurt. However, as i said previously we have tried to maintain a friendship. So, exactly 2 weeks ago we got into a petty argument over the phone. I ended the call by simply saying "okay, I'm going to get off the phone now." (I did this because we were just sitting on the phone and not speaking). The ex/friend said "okay" and we hung up. I never called again and the ex/friend has not contacted me either. Sooo...It's safe to say that the ex/friend doesn't want to have anything else to do with me...although that was never said. I haven't made any contact because I really don't know what to say anymore...and I always feel like the bad person in our interactions. WELL, tonight I was clearing out all our text msgs from my phone and accidently resent one of them instead of deleting it. The text said: " You asked if I was seeing someone, I am...that does not mean in a committed r-ship" Again, this was an old text that had already been sent to the ex/friend in the past. I feel like an ass because I randomly resent this text and we have not been in contact at all (i'm still not sure why). I don't want the ex to think that I'm trying to get some contact or make jealous. Should I send an email explaining that the text was an accident. I can't even explain why we don't speak anymore...
Nedved Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I understand why you want to explain yourself but will getting in touch with your ex just lead to talking on the phone again as friends and another petty arguement somewhere down the line? To be honest it sounds like you both just need a break from each other and not talking is prob for the best right now. By all means send the email if you feel you need to explain yourself and put your mind at ease but its quite possible your ex might not reply and that could annoy you to. If you can be genuine friends somewhere down the line with no feelings involved then good for you and its nice if it can be done but for now as i said i think your better off just having no contact for while.
Author Blyss Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Thanks for the reply Nedved. Well, I sent an email last night ONLY explaining the text. I really felt awkward after accidently sending the text so I felt it was necessary. I did NOT bring up the fact that we aren't talking or anything else. And although I did not want a reply and framed my "explanation" in a manner so that a reply was not necessary, I received a reply from the ex this morning anyway. I thought my words out very carefully, but based on the reply I think what I said in the email pissed the ex off. Thus, it did not and will not lead to a phone call or anything like that, which wasn't my intention anyway. It's all very difficult because despite all that we've been through we were very close...and I have lost my best friend, but there is nothing else I can do at this point. It hurts a lot to walk away without any explanation or closure. Anyway, thanks again for your response.
Nedved Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Your welcome Blyss and i know its not easy especially not having her in your life anymore when you know her so long. You sent the mail and for you it was the right thing to do so good for you Blyss. I was together with my ex 4 years but was friends a good year before we got together so i know how you feel. I enjoyed her company as you do with your ex but as you said there's not much else you can do at this point unfortunatley. I miss the chats to and laughs we once had but its getting easier in the last few months and you'l learn to live without her. I really just think you guys just need a bit of time apart and who knows what will happen in the future maybe you two can go back talking again but there's plenty more people you can have a similar relationship with in the future. I know its hard but focus on yourself for now. If she's gonna be a true friend to you then she'l make contact herself at some point and if she dose'nt you'l move on.
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