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Why is it that men get over long relationships faster than women?

battaman

By battaman
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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battaman New Member

battaman

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The thing is she started dating her 32 year old boss (who's been good friends with her for years). She seems to be very happy with him at the moment. But it was completely out of character for her to jump into that 5 days after we broke up. And only 5-6 days after he got dumped from HIS long term relationship.

Also...she started dating him 3 weeks before she permanently left the country for work somewhere else.

 

The relationship seems to have kept her mind busy...but when she moves away, she'll be completely alone. I wonder if she'll start processing the relationship right there.

joseffrost Established Member

joseffrost

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And only 5-6 days after he got dumped from HIS long term relationship.

Also...she started dating him 3 weeks before she permanently left the country for work somewhere else.

 

Sounds like it may have been planned. And how do you what his work/moving plans are in the future?

borbiusle Member

borbiusle

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Thad .. I think it's more than just constantly talking about it.. I sincerely think that men, in general, can move faster than women for some biological reason.. I'm not an expert in that matter.. but I strongly feel that men have it easier in that department. :o

 

Nah, men hurt too for a while, we'll just never show it outwardly, it's a pride/dignity thing, plus no one ever feels truly sorry for you if you're a guy. I can't see how a woman would have it THAT hard, they've probably been getting advances and attention from dudes since they hit puberty, it would seem easier for yall to jump "on the next train" at a moments notice so to speak.
Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Nah, men hurt too for a while, we'll just never show it outwardly, it's a pride/dignity thing, plus no one ever feels truly sorry for you if you're a guy. I can't see how a woman would have it THAT hard, they've probably been getting advances and attention from dudes since they hit puberty, it would seem easier for yall to jump "on the next train" at a moments notice so to speak.

 

You raised very good points.. I never said that men don't hurt at all.. I'm sure they do.. they don't show it.. and they seem to move on faster.. you said it yourself.. 'they hurt for a while' but I agree about the pride thing.. men don't confide as much...

 

Where I disagree is with the part when you say :

 

I can't see how a woman would have it THAT hard, they've probably been getting advances and attention from dudes since they hit puberty, it would seem easier for yall to jump "on the next train" at a moments notice so to speak..

 

It's true that it is easier for a woman to 'jump on the next train'.. but the thing is .. we (women) DON'T want to jump on the next train.. we want the one we just lost.. it's stupid.. but it's like that.. and we have a much harder time to move on.. we hurt and think and re-thing every single details of the relationship.. of the last conversation.. we sometimes read waaaay too much into men..

 

We are just too emotional.. :o (I know.. btdt.. when I was much younger ;))

silic0ntoad Established Member

silic0ntoad

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Lizzie those are good points. It just sucks that most people don't understand that love is a choice. You fall in love for a reason. You choose to keep that love going despite short comings.

 

It's obscure. The human mind is boggled by new experiences. I'll take some of mine to the grave. And I'll never get into a girl like I was into my Ex ever again. I'm building a wall to guard that, man. Never again.

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

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Took ne like 8 months to just start feeling ok, everyone is different

borbiusle Member

borbiusle

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You raised very good points.. I never said that men don't hurt at all.. I'm sure they do.. they don't show it.. and they seem to move on faster.. you said it yourself.. 'they hurt for a while' but I agree about the pride thing.. men don't confide as much...

 

Where I disagree is with the part when you say :

 

I can't see how a woman would have it THAT hard, they've probably been getting advances and attention from dudes since they hit puberty, it would seem easier for yall to jump "on the next train" at a moments notice so to speak..

 

It's true that it is easier for a woman to 'jump on the next train'.. but the thing is .. we (women) DON'T want to jump on the next train.. we want the one we just lost.. it's stupid.. but it's like that.. and we have a much harder time to move on.. we hurt and think and re-thing every single details of the relationship.. of the last conversation.. we sometimes read waaaay too much into men..

 

We are just too emotional.. :o (I know.. btdt.. when I was much younger ;))

 

It all really boils down to who was the dumper/dumpee I think. I would assume the dumper, man or woman, gets over it way quicker than the dumpee.

  • 1 month later...
BCCA Established Member

BCCA

Posted
Posted
It all really boils down to who was the dumper/dumpee I think. I would assume the dumper, man or woman, gets over it way quicker than the dumpee.

 

This is exactly it.

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

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I don't think that men do.....I think it depends as others have said on who invested more. If you invested emotionally, mentally, you invested expectation, the promise of forever...marriage, kids - then naturally you will be devestated when it ends because it isn't just the loss of a person or a friend or memories, but the loss of a perceived future, a meaning, the way you saw you're life going. Suddenly you are lost again and have to find a new direction. So it is really the loss of far much more than just a person.

 

Whoever does not invest as much, checks out for whatever reason, builds up resentment or finds a new future direction which does not include you, moves on quickest.

 

Otherwise I would assume people put up a front or just get by...the outside doesn't always match the reality of what the person is feeling and thinking inside.

 

I think women can bet on better because of their support systems and men can get on better precisely because guys say suck it up and lets take action! I don't really think its easier on anyone. Heartbreak is heartbreak.

conehead Established Member

conehead

Posted
Posted

battaman, who dumped who? If you dumped her, then I can see how she's having a hard time getting over it. Even if it's mutual, breakups are rarely exactly 50/50....even if it's 55/45, it hurts. Who initiated the breakup talk?

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