alg24 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Hi- I am not looking for nasty comments.... Wondering how OW dealt with the BS. After the BS found out about the affair- in the end the marriage ended... The BS goes after OW, especially when she knows the relationship with Husband has kept going... What usually happens/what is OW to expect? Living in small seasonal town... BS has never meet me but knows my number and name... Only a matter of time until... Just want to know what to expect or what is to come. Thank you everyone
Lizzie60 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Hi- I am not looking for nasty comments.... Wondering how OW dealt with the BS. After the BS found out about the affair- in the end the marriage ended... The BS goes after OW, especially when she knows the relationship with Husband has kept going... What usually happens/what is OW to expect? Living in small seasonal town... BS has never meet me but knows my number and name... Only a matter of time until... Just want to know what to expect or what is to come. Thank you everyone Probably nothing will happen... Not all BS are 'freaks'... in my case, when they found out.. one caught us.. she kept calling me.. I had to tell her to stop... (she acted like she wanted to be friends or something).. in the other cases, they didn't do anything.. but in both cases, they (MMs) lied their way out.. so it was OK..
tami-chan Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I was a BS, what would happen? Maybe nothing. Lizzie, is right. Not all BSs would "fight" for their man or make a scene or attack you or what not. If your MM's BS is like me, I would not even bother acknowledging you.
Author alg24 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 The BS threatened to "make my life hell" on a text message. She knows my name and cell phone number. The affair I had lasted a little over a year and I continue to talk to the husband/maybe we are still together..? Its screwed up, but I love him and care deeply for him. There is an age difference (I am a lot younger- in my early 20s..) Messed up but true. Anyway, they are getting a divorce. I just want to know what to expect this coming season in the small town. A good friend of mine mentioned my name to another girl and the girl questioned if I was the mistress of the guy due to my name. Clearly the wife I spreading the word? I can't blame and she isn't the bad person in the situation... Anyway, I am just venting/looking for information/ I don't know...
tami-chan Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Then you should take her word for it....definitely save the text-lock it, as a matter of fact.
bentnotbroken Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 And pray she isn't the kind who likes public humiliation and pain. Some do. Something to consider, if it was worth it I mean.
jj33 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Unfortunately it is possible that she has spread the word all over town. If someone has already asked you, then you can pretty much accept that is the way it is. You are going to have to live with it. There is nothing to say nothing to do. If you are no longer his mistress then just say no and change the subsject. Who you sleep with or slept is nobody's business (except his wife's of course).
White Flower Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Hi- I am not looking for nasty comments.... Wondering how OW dealt with the BS. After the BS found out about the affair- in the end the marriage ended... The BS goes after OW, especially when she knows the relationship with Husband has kept going... What usually happens/what is OW to expect? Living in small seasonal town... BS has never meet me but knows my number and name... Only a matter of time until... Just want to know what to expect or what is to come. Thank you everyone It appears coming after you won't be the problem, especially as D is underway. The real problem is living in a small, seasonal town. Good luck with being discreet!
fooled once Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 She may make your life hell. She may embarass you. She may humiliate you. She may belittle you. She may call you names. She may call you. She may come visit you. She may laugh at you. She may mock you. She may ignore you. She may be grateful to you for taking the lying piece of crap out of her life. She may thank you. *shrug* Different people, different reactions
GreenEyedLady Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It just depends on "her." If you live in a small town and she feels vindictive, everyone will know about it. Or she might not care that much and let everyone figure it out. My H's XW didn't do anything. She didn't put up a fight at all while the D was in process and we were living together. GEL
OWoman Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 We live in a really tiny village. Everybody knows. And, guess what? Nobody cares. alg, things may be different for you (are you in the US? People in the US seem more hung up about these things) but even so, they'll move on once the next bit of salacious gossip comes along. Unless you're in the habit of sharing your sex life with complete strangers, there's absolutely no reason for you to enter into any discussions about the A at all. Let them speculate all they want.
delajoonal Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 this is coming from a BS. my H had an onine EA with OW whom is married with children.....the EA only lasted about 3 weeks. as i cALLED OW, i left a Vmail, "please stay away from my H, leave my family alone, take care of ur own family!, If you continue to contact MY H, i will contact YOUR H and enlighten HIM as to what you have really been doing on Facebook!" this ended it...for about a week, OW emailed my H with some lame excuse about, did he call her or was something wrong, yada yada... so i left her one last Vmail....said the same thing, except said this is your last warning, as i know OW home, cell and work numbers, work address, (she is pasted all over the internet, owns a ligit business), so she really had a lot to lose.. i found another email about a day later....so i waited about 3 weeks... called OW home number, her H answered...weird, he was home that day from stress, as he was so sick he had gone home from work early, because he already knew OW was having some type of A,....long story short...i talked with OW's H for about 3 hours...it was awful, he was so in love with her, he cried, we both cried, etc.... i felt bad for hurting him, but , he already knew, and said NOW he can move on and figure out what to do..so in a way i gave OW H some relief and clarity. he said the NOT knowing for sure was making hiim sick to his stomach all the time..etc. he told her that night when she got home from work that i called him, etc... he ended up calling me back so i could hear her yelling at the top of her lungs, like some crazy woman... OW emailed MY H on the spot and told iim to NEVER contact her again, IT was over, she hated my H now..LOL...oh,too bad, so sad... also, my husbands little A bubble was burst, because NOW he could see and hear that his little fantasy princess was really NO different then me or any other woman in the world, we are moms that yell at our kids to hurry up for school, we are wives that argue about bills at the end of the day with our H's...etc.. bottom line..my H was so upset, BECAUSE of the realization SHE/OW was in fact a REAL woman, NOT the fairy princess she had become in the online EA.... so..that was a pretty long post...but i wanted you to be sure of why i called the OW and what the outcome was. to this day i don't know if OW H left her..i am sure not... but i can tell you this, OW is NO LONGER ON FACEBOOK either! oops..almost forgot, OW H asked if i wanted to meet up with OW...so i could confront OW face to face, OW H said he would set it up for me... i declined...not worth it...i said my piece, the A was over...thats it.
4everloveu Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Could the BS know about the wife A, but keep quite. Or maybe she is too smart to get away from it.
Gamine Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Could the BS know about the wife A, but keep quite. Or maybe she is too smart to get away from it. As absurdly immature and unrefined as this will sound, I basically told her that I would kick her ass if she came near or contacted my husband again. I meant it. If our relationship moved to being dissolved through separation or divorce they could do as they wish with no interference from me. However, I made it clear that my answer was 'No' to recreational sex between the two of them. And, I did 'out' her in a public way. She was/is married.
4everloveu Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I know in one case that the husband don't know about the wife A for more than 10 yrs. I was just thinking maybe he know but just ignore it, or she must be smart and get away from it. As absurdly immature and unrefined as this will sound, I basically told her that I would kick her ass if she came near or contacted my husband again. I meant it. If our relationship moved to being dissolved through separation or divorce they could do as they wish with no interference from me. However, I made it clear that my answer was 'No' to recreational sex between the two of them. And, I did 'out' her in a public way. She was/is married.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I was a BS, what would happen? Maybe nothing. Lizzie, is right. Not all BSs would "fight" for their man or make a scene or attack you or what not. i have to say this is the first time I agree with TC. alot of BS's won't fight for their spouse because their spouse isn't worth fighting for. OP, you may just be doing this wife a huge favor and in the end, you are getting the s##t end of the stick. If your MM's BS is like me, I would not even bother acknowledging you. I sure didn't give a crap about the OM at all. In fact, he seemed to not like that fact that I didn't care and actually tried to contact me. I told him he did me a big favor and now my xwife is his problem. I ended the conversation saying to him, "sucks to be you"
HappyAgain Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I thanked my ex's OW (not to her face but to myself) for taking my ex away and guaranteeing that he never had a chance to come back begging like he had in the past. When I actually see her, I just ignore her because I feel sorry for her being with my ex as it is too soon for her to realize what he is really like and by the time she does realize who he really is she'll be so stuck in her life with him (she has codependency issues and no means to support herself.)
herenow Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I would hope that the BS in a situation where their spouse left to be with a person they truly love, would do the same thing that an OW should do when a MM stays with his wife. Nothing but move forward without a person who isn't in love with them.
Mimolicious Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 The BS threatened to "make my life hell" on a text message. She knows my name and cell phone number. The affair I had lasted a little over a year and I continue to talk to the husband/maybe we are still together..? Its screwed up, but I love him and care deeply for him. There is an age difference (I am a lot younger- in my early 20s..) Messed up but true. Anyway, they are getting a divorce. I just want to know what to expect this coming season in the small town. A good friend of mine mentioned my name to another girl and the girl questioned if I was the mistress of the guy due to my name. Clearly the wife I spreading the word? I can't blame and she isn't the bad person in the situation... Anyway, I am just venting/looking for information/ I don't know... And you care about all of this now??? You know, when people make choices there are consequences. I dont think there is a cookie cutter for BS behavior, therefore; we cant really tell you what is going to happen. You will ahve to go through the drama yourself and be ready for whatever it brings. I was a BS and I refused to deal with the BullSHIZ. It is what it is...
Mimolicious Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 this is coming from a BS. my H had an onine EA with OW whom is married with children.....the EA only lasted about 3 weeks. as i cALLED OW, i left a Vmail, "please stay away from my H, leave my family alone, take care of ur own family!, If you continue to contact MY H, i will contact YOUR H and enlighten HIM as to what you have really been doing on Facebook!" this ended it...for about a week, OW emailed my H with some lame excuse about, did he call her or was something wrong, yada yada... so i left her one last Vmail....said the same thing, except said this is your last warning, as i know OW home, cell and work numbers, work address, (she is pasted all over the internet, owns a ligit business), so she really had a lot to lose.. i found another email about a day later....so i waited about 3 weeks... called OW home number, her H answered...weird, he was home that day from stress, as he was so sick he had gone home from work early, because he already knew OW was having some type of A,....long story short...i talked with OW's H for about 3 hours...it was awful, he was so in love with her, he cried, we both cried, etc.... i felt bad for hurting him, but , he already knew, and said NOW he can move on and figure out what to do..so in a way i gave OW H some relief and clarity. he said the NOT knowing for sure was making hiim sick to his stomach all the time..etc. he told her that night when she got home from work that i called him, etc... he ended up calling me back so i could hear her yelling at the top of her lungs, like some crazy woman... OW emailed MY H on the spot and told iim to NEVER contact her again, IT was over, she hated my H now..LOL...oh,too bad, so sad... also, my husbands little A bubble was burst, because NOW he could see and hear that his little fantasy princess was really NO different then me or any other woman in the world, we are moms that yell at our kids to hurry up for school, we are wives that argue about bills at the end of the day with our H's...etc.. bottom line..my H was so upset, BECAUSE of the realization SHE/OW was in fact a REAL woman, NOT the fairy princess she had become in the online EA.... so..that was a pretty long post...but i wanted you to be sure of why i called the OW and what the outcome was. to this day i don't know if OW H left her..i am sure not... but i can tell you this, OW is NO LONGER ON FACEBOOK either! oops..almost forgot, OW H asked if i wanted to meet up with OW...so i could confront OW face to face, OW H said he would set it up for me... i declined...not worth it...i said my piece, the A was over...thats it. Sorry to burst your bubble but I wouldnt be surprised if your H and OW still keep in touch. I'm just saying...
donnamaybe Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Sorry to burst your bubble but I wouldnt be surprised if your H and OW still keep in touch. I'm just saying... Was there some point to you trying to stir the pot like this?
Mimolicious Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 i have to say this is the first time I agree with TC. alot of BS's won't fight for their spouse because their spouse isn't worth fighting for. OP, you may just be doing this wife a huge favor and in the end, you are getting the s##t end of the stick. I sure didn't give a crap about the OM at all. In fact, he seemed to not like that fact that I didn't care and actually tried to contact me. I told him he did me a big favor and now my xwife is his problem. I ended the conversation saying to him, "sucks to be you" This is the same way that I feel and the same happened to me. My biggest revenge is for OW to keep my exH. He wont change and odds are that the OW aint that special and he will do it to her too. (in this case this is true- not generalizing) Only God knows what he has saved me from!
bentnotbroken Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Sorry to burst your bubble but I wouldnt be surprised if your H and OW still keep in touch. I'm just saying... And I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't. Just saying......
Mimolicious Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Was there some point to you trying to stir the pot like this? Look at the pattern. She warned her twice and she still did it, now any threats will only be idle. Just because she no longer has a FB account that doesn't mean she no longer exist. People find different ways to conceal their nonsense. Dela- sounds too much on her H defensive side. The OW was not the only one that cheated here.
donnamaybe Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Look at the pattern. She warned her twice and she still did it, now any threats will only be idle. Just because she no longer has a FB account that doesn't mean she no longer exist. People find different ways to conceal their nonsense. Dela- sounds too much on her H defensive side. The OW was not the only one that cheated here. Um, that happened before the BS involved the OW's H. And according to the BS, the OW was the one doing the contacting. If you want to rewrite someone else's history, you should probably ask their permission first.
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