ReturnToSender Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 true - but realize that means that she needs: - A guy that agrees that a strip club is equal to infidelity - A guy that is OK with the fact that she actually HAS been unfaithful in the past, that is if she plans on being honest hmmm...can anyone say "null set"?? therefore I think she'd be better served by trying to maybe be a little more realistic with her views. I totally agree with that...but...I cant change her. And going off of the convictions she has *right now* not what she might possibly change her mind about in the near or far future, I think this relationship is not fair to him...its not fair for any person to be with someone whose partner wants control over their personal views and thoughts, especially when those views and thoughts have no affect on the relationship whatsoever.
AAlike Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 i am going through the same issues with my boyfriend. we recently went to las vegas and eventually admitted that he had a private dance. but the thing that hurts is that he sat and had a drink wth this girl. i know it is the rule that u have to buy u and her a drink but i dont like the idea that they had a full on conversation and he refered to her as a nice girl. i feel so jealous. if i bring it up he gets mad but i just cant seem to let go. i just feel like if it were any other girl stripping for him it would be cheating so why does it suddenly make it okay just because he paid for it?????? doesnt make sense to me. what do others think? first off, this isn't exactly the same issues - this is much more legitimate than OP's issue. this could be a typo (perhaps you meant to say "he") but you typed "we recently went to las vegas" - does this mean that he went to a strip club and bought a dance while vacationing with you?!?? if it does, then eff that dude! if not - you shouldn't be concerned with him buying her a drink, I can tell you that the last time I went to a strip club I ended up buying a drink for one of the dancers just to get her to shut up and leave me alone. in fact, at least in the one that I went to (which I would say is the opposite of "high end" lol) NOT doing it is basically equivalent to not tipping a waitress - it's not gonna get you kicked out but everyone thinks you're a d*ck. it's actually one of the reasons why I hate strip clubs. As for the lapdance, well, that's potentially a bigger deal...but what were the circumstances? did he go to a club "with the guys" and somebody jokingly bought a dance? or was he alone and did it of his own accord? if it's the latter that's definitely cause for concern. I can't imagine as a guy that's engaged just one day saying "hey, I'll go to the strip club and get a lapdance!"
AAlike Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 I totally agree with that...but...I cant change her. And going off of the convictions she has *right now* not what she might possibly change her mind about in the near or far future, I think this relationship is not fair to him...its not fair for any person to be with someone whose partner wants control over their personal views and thoughts, especially when those views and thoughts have no affect on the relationship whatsoever. perfectly stated. like I said earlier - although I have no concrete evidence as such, I still think that this viewpoint of hers very well may be more a manifestation of insecurities than a representation of her "values." they're just too incongruous. especially the part about "the cheater is only 50% responsible" - that's way more absurd than the strip club deal.
ReturnToSender Posted September 22, 2009 Posted September 22, 2009 perfectly stated. like I said earlier - although I have no concrete evidence as such, I still think that this viewpoint of hers very well may be more a manifestation of insecurities than a representation of her "values." they're just too incongruous. especially the part about "the cheater is only 50% responsible" - that's way more absurd than the strip club deal. Yeah, youre right about that. I didnt address it, but when I read that about the cheater only being 50% responsible, my thought was 'say whaaaaaaaa?!" Ive seen it happen a lot..where insecurity and fear over what *might* happen...even though theres nothing going on and nothing to worry about...is what destroys the relationship. Its self-destructive behavior that leads to the sabotage of a relationship.
batinhell66 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Strip clubs are cheating if you think it is. Personally I think strippers are just doing their job, and honestly, who would want to be constantly cheated on in a relationship with a hot girl? People who date strippers shouldn't consider the job that she's doing as cheating, or they shouldn't be there. However, I do think that men going into a strip club borders on cheating. Lap dances without permission are cheating. In the stripper world, if a guy you're seeing gets a lap dance from another stripper without your consent, it's considered cheating. I've seen a few vicious fights because of that.
fabulous_chk Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Lol have you ever been to a strip club?
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