GoingNuts Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 My wife doesn't simply doesn't want to have sex anymore. Since the birth of our daughter almost 2 years ago, we have probably had sex 12 to 15 times, and the frequency is getting further and further apart every time. I've read a previous post on here about the same subject, but it wont accept anymore entries. It was along the lines of: Women get tired when looking after a toddler - We split this 50/50 Women get tired after doing chores - We also split this 50/50 Women get tired after work - She wanted to go back to work, so I've cut my hours back and we both work part time. I've basically done all I can, I'm loving attentive, make sure she has her own time, make sure she has time fro friends and family, basically everything you need to be happy. I compliment on her appearance, buy her surprise gifts, and have actually told her how and why I see sex a really important part of a relationship. I've even asked her outright if she doesn't find me attractive anymore. I'm not overwegiht, I'm not ugly, I'm not getting any loving from my wife. I earn a good income even in these credit crunching times, as well as making time for her to go back work at her own request. She just doesn't want any form of intimacy. What really did me the other day, was when I was trying to nicely ask why, and how sex is important in a realtionship, she told me that if I am so desperate for sex, to go and relieve myself. I've moved into our spare room, and don't want to unsettle our daughter by moving out, but what the hell does she expect me to do. She says she loves, shes has a very good quality of life, just don't know what to do. I've basically bent over backwards to keep her happy, and purely because of the sex, I feel like I'm going to have move out of my own home. Any decent advice out there?
utterer of lies Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Any decent advice out there? No sex = R is over = byebye. Sorry.
deux ex machina Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 This sounds like the classic nightmare... How long have you been married? Four years or so?
Thaddeus Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 What really did me the other day, was when I was trying to nicely ask why, and how sex is important in a realtionship, she told me that if I am so desperate for sex, to go and relieve myself.Extremely common. Those with sexual needs are 'selfish.' I'd bet my last gallon of gas that she used that word in the conversation somewhere. I've moved into our spare room, and don't want to unsettle our daughter by moving out, but what the hell does she expect me to do. She says she loves, shes has a very good quality of life, just don't know what to do.Yes, she does. She's got a man who's doing more than his fair share of the housework, managing the child, plus bringing income into the home... and she doesn't have to do anything! Pretty nice gig, if you ask me. I've basically bent over backwards to keep her happy, and purely because of the sex, I feel like I'm going to have move out of my own home. Any decent advice out there?First of all, your situation is extremely common. Frequency and vigor of sex almost always decreases after marriage, and even moreso after children start appearing on the scene. Most often this happens because the entire household revolves around the child. Bad, bad idea. It sets the wheels in motion of raising a narcissistic child, and damages the relationship between the spouses. To be sure, that doesn't mean that you should leave the child howling for food or otherwise neglect the child, but it DOES mean that the relationship between husband and wife is to be the primary relationship in the household. All other relationships in the home flow from that. And that relationship MUST include a satisfying and consistent sex life. Your wife probably doesn't get this; she's probably living with the delusion that the child must come first. Have you discussed marriage counselling with her?
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