alexlakeman Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I have been seeing this woman for about 2-3 wks... all is great! wow, yeah... oh wait no sex. WHAT?? She wants to know me better, so I figured we see each other for lunch a couple days, happy hour... just to turn the curve to my favor... Last night's date...uggh, no sex.. my roi (return on investment) right now is very skewed.. I've spent $ , but no return, the cpl (cost per lay) is $$$$...since I haven't gotten laid.. I've passed the 4th date.. she says she wants me inside of her, blah, blah, blah, but "wants to know me better".... wtf... I am about to launch that b.tch! Especially since she is 35 miles away! So how long have you guys waited? I am talking ADULTS, mid 30's, not teenagers ...
New Again Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 :lmao::lmao::lmao: I wouldn't have sex with you either.
Author alexlakeman Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 WOMEN??? How do you feel the time is right??
stepka Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Well judging from the way you're talking here, it sounds like you're just out for the sex, and you're the kind of guy she's trying to weed out. Very wise woman and I'm taking her advice from now on. If she passes the 3 date rule and he drops off, he was only looking for a POA and it's good riddance to him. Next!
Author alexlakeman Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Well judging from the way you're talking here, it sounds like you're just out for the sex, and you're the kind of guy she's trying to weed out. Very wise woman and I'm taking her advice from now on. If she passes the 3 date rule and he drops off, he was only looking for a POA and it's good riddance to him. Next! No, not just looking for sex, but that is a large component in a relationship... so you are going to date somebody for 90 days, no sex, all is great, then have sex and he doesn't do it for you? You just wasted 90 days yourself... I am looking for a relationship, hence why we've clicked, but you can only push that "wait for sex" sooo long... I even got rid of the other girl I was dating to focus on her, so I know I am serious.. I was happy the first 2 wks since I had gf2 for sex, so had no rush with gf3... but now its just gf3.. and no sex, lol
Soul Bear Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I waited a month once, saw her every day or 2 for that time and then she went back to Ukraine for 2 months and would see me when she came back..... I ended up having a 5 year relationship with her friend instead.... You should be happy she isnt such a whore If you really like her, then all good things come to those who wait, my friend. Hang in there if it's so. One more thing....don't ever justify your 'CPL' and talk about 'ROI'....that's extremely shallow, she isn't a whore obviously, so don't put her in that bracket You should be investing emotionaly, and that is the only 'investment' you should keep an eye on.
Trialbyfire Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 If you're looking for bang for the buck, consider hookers.
stepka Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I am about to launch that b.tch! Hmm, what was my first clue that you only see her as a POA?
MN randomguy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 My Ex abided to the 3 date rule while in NYC. Now that she' back in MN she wanted a 6 mo. rule for guys like me. That was a bit much to deal with.
lora22 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I don't go by the 3 date rule. Usually I "feel ready" when the guy's put down a few hundred on dates though. Then I know he's really into me and not just looking for sex. You have a terrible attitude toward women/dating, good luck with the ladies
JustLooking123 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 You sound like a douchebag. Cost per lay? Get a life!
CaliGuy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I think you'd get a better ROI on hookers, since that seems to be what motivates you anyway.
Soul Bear Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Everyone here has said the same thing to you, in not so many words. Take heed.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Last night's date...uggh, no sex.. my roi (return on investment) right now is very skewed.. I've spent $ , but no return, the cpl (cost per lay) is $$$$...since I haven't gotten laid.. Seriously, thinking like this you should just go for a hooker.
Chicago_Guy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I don't think that two weeks is that much unless she's doing something that makes you think she's having sex with some other guy. What I think is messed up is when women think something is wrong when you aren't pushing to have sex with them within the first couple dates. Surprisingly, some guys actually want to get to know a woman first before having sex with them.
sally4sara Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 WOMEN??? How do you feel the time is right?? When I'm not being bought for sex. When I know the guy isn't spending time with me just to get laid. When the guy isn't playing the angle YOU are. And when I want to get laid. When I want to get laid, it's never been because the guy spent a certain amount of money either. In fact it is guys like you that made me decide to never not cover my own costs on a date. You're acting like women are scratch off tickets.
CLC2008 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 And it's people like this, that ruin it for the descent ones. Thanks OP!
guitarplayer1234 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Just when I thought I've heard everything...
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Just when I thought I've heard everything... This is difference between a 'guy' and a 'man'.... eeeeeessshhhhh
Author alexlakeman Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Ok... let's put aside roi and cpl...... I do want a ltr with this woman... I even cancelled my match and broke up with the other gf..... to show her I am focusing only on her and show myself, as well, lol.. I've never had to worry about sleeping with someone within 3-4 dates.. so obviously this is very new terrirotory...well the last ltr I had was for 3 yrs and I waited for her a while, can't remember, maybe 4-6 weeks? I know she wasn't 3-4 dates... but i had a backup back then, now I got rid of the two backups... So, ladies? How do you know it's the right time? I am talking to the ones tha are not soo loose on here , the ones that do wait more than 3-4 dates
Hkizzle Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 No, not just looking for sex, Lol, denial....... Most players and guys only looking for sex don't think they're only looking for sex. After all players think they offer great company and fun for the girls...... Whilst you might not be a player, the only people I know that have used the term cost per lay are the ones that are there for the sex. I agree with the other posters, this girl is specifically trying to weed guys out like you, lol. Don't be in denial, you can at least be honest with yourself. You're there for the sex buddy.........
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 the last ltr I had was for 3 yrs and I waited for her a while, can't remember, maybe 4-6 weeks? I know she wasn't 3-4 dates... but i had a backup back then, now I got rid of the two backups... Wow, that's classy. I'm sure you felt like such a champ for waiting for your main squeeze to put out while you were giving the business to a couple of other women. So, ladies? How do you know it's the right time? I am talking to the ones tha are not soo loose on here , the ones that do wait more than 3-4 dates My XH waited 3 months. I know it's "right" when I feel I'm not being pressured for it - he appreciates my company in general. The fact that you are SO worried about the sex tells me that IS all you care about. I hope this chick holds out so long on you that you leave - she deserves better.
loveslife Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Ewww you have "backups"? Do these other ladies know they're being used for sex until you get the one you really want? (That's a serious question.) I get it that you're interested in a LTR with this lady you've been seeing. But she is likely feeling the pressure from you to put out. This might seem like a stupid question, but why is sex so important to you? Can't you hold out until you've really bonded with a woman? Here's something I'd be curious about - Have you ever been in love? I ask this because, for myself, once I had sex with someone I was in love with I never again had sex with someone I had no feelings for. I just don't understand why getting laid is so important to you. There are so many other aspects to relationships. You asked how long until a woman feels comfortable. For me, the last few LTRs I was in it took 3 months each time. But I don't remember ever feeling pressured. It's not like there was no physical contact. The times when I've felt pressured to have sex, or been with a guy who talked about sex a lot, I've not gotten to the point of having sex with them.
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